The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, February 5, 2008 Volume XVI, Number 162

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... 4th Annual TRIVIA Night, Friday Feb 29th, doors open at 5:30 p.m. at Memorial Hall Auditorium. $100 per team, food & snacks incl., cash & prizes to be awarded. For more info call Carthage Chamber, ask for Amber at 358-2373

Did Ya Know?... The 8th Annual Bowling Round Up to benefit Magic Moments Riding Therapy will be held at Bowl East in Joplin on February 9, 2008. We are looking for bowlers to participate. You could win a brand new Nintendo WII. Get together a group of 5 or 6 and call us at (417)325-4490 for all the details.

Did Ya Know?... Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, Carthage, Mo. will be hosting a special Valentine’s Day Event on Thursday, Feb. 14th at the Theatre. In addition to the play DIAL M FOR MURDER there will be a very special menu and Roses and Candy for the ladies. The price is $25.00 per person. Seating is limited. For reservations call the theatre at 417-358-9665 or 417-358-7268 or email

today's laugh

How long have you been working here?
Ever since the day the boss threatened to fire me.

A girl comes home and tells her father she’s pregnant. The father looks at her, stunned, and asks, "Are you sure it’s yours?"

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Fine Mirror for a Restaurant

A very large mirror, with paneled mirrors at the side, and finished with handsome wood work, is being installed at the front of the Merchants cafe.

Looking for a Deputy.

R. A. Mooneyham, prosecuting attorney-elect, was down from Carthage yesterday looking into the merits of aspirants for the deputyship from Joplin. Mr. Mooneyham said he would announce his selection within a week-Joplin News Herald.

Some new Perfumes, Post Evans

People who have begun to grow old, who have lost the vigor, courage, ambition and strength of youth, take Rocky Mountain Tea. Post-Evans Drug Co.


Today's Feature

Honey Announces Candidacy.

Jim Honey, Carthage, announced yesterday morning that he intends to file for a third term as Jasper County Eastern District Commissioner on the Republican ticket. Commissioner Honey said: "It has been a privilege to serve the last seven years as Jasper County Commissioner. I believe I have made a worthy contribution during my two terms in office. It takes strong leadership and dedication to meet today’s challenges, and I pledge to continue to help lead this county with dignity in a fair and productive manner."

Honey added, "County Commissioners, the Auditor and other office holders work as a team to make budget decisions, to help assure delivery of efficient and effective services from all county offices and to make policy decisions in regard to the operation of county business. I want to continue to work with other county officials to seek sources of revenue including grants on the local, state, and federal levels to enhance the budget. We presently have several federal, state, and local grant applications pending. For the last forty years my background as a teacher, administrator, agri-business man, and commissioner has given me the experience, leadership ability, and the skills needed to work with people to help them solve problems".

Seven County positions will be up for election in the Primary election, which is to be held on August 5, 2008. Those positions include Eastern District Commissioner, Western District Commissioner, Sheriff, Assessor, Treasurer, Public Administrator and Coroner. Filing for candidacy officially opens on February 26 and ends on March 25th.


Carthage R-9 News Release.

Dr. Blaine Henningsen, superintendent-elect for the Carthage R-9 School District effective July 1, 2008, will be coming to Carthage on Thursday, February 7. A reception has been scheduled in the high school auditorium from 3:30 - 4:30 p.m. for faculty and staff. Dr. Henningsen will respond to questions from the media at a news conference to be held immediately following the reception at 4:30 p.m. in the auditorium lobby. We invite you to participate.

Carthage R-9 Board of Education

Just Jake Talkin'


I have never accepted the fact that margarine is better than butter. I know, I’ve read all the bad things ‘bout butter. I just have trouble believin’ that we can take oil and bubble hydrogen through it and come up with anything that is better for us than what nature came up with.

You can understand why I was shocked the other day ta see another step in our "improvin" on butter. Imitation margarine. Now what is that? How can you imitate a fake in the first place?

My last trip to the grocery store I was lookin’ for some cheese and checkin’ ta make sure it wasn’t cheese food, when I came across another unnatural imitator. It said it was, "Imitation Cheese Food!" I have no idea what’s in it, I didn’t look. Scared me.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Mornin' Mail

To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M. D.

Insulin Delivered by Pump

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have been an insulin-using diabetic for 15 years. The insulin pump idea intrigues me. I have to give myself as many as four shots a day, and I am getting tired of the inconvenience. What are your thoughts on the pump? Would I benefit from it? -- K.K.

ANSWER: The insulin pump delivers insulin at a constant rate through a slender, plastic tube inserted with a needle under the skin at the same body depth where a person injects insulin. The pump itself is about the size of a thin beeper. It’s worn on the belt or put in a pocket. The plastic tube is taped to the skin.

Pumps have been around for more than 20 years. They’re a reliable way to get insulin into the body. They can be programmed to deliver larger amounts of insulin at the times of day and night when more is needed. For example, during sleep, just before wakening, blood sugar rises in the early-morning hours. The pump can inject more insulin at that time. The same goes for mealtimes.

A person with a pump must still check his or her blood sugar. If it’s high, the pump user can activate the pump to release a surge of insulin.

I think insulin pumps are wonderful, but they’re not for everyone. They take some getting used to, and a person needs special instructions to learn their ins and outs. More than 200,000 Americans avail themselves of a pump. For those who have to inject themselves many times a day, the pumps are a real boon.



More Letters from
a Self-Made
to His Son

by George Horace Lorimer

First Published 1903

From John Graham, head of the house of Graham & Company, pork packers, in Chicago, familiarly known on ‘Change as Old Gorgon Graham, to his son, Pierrepont, at the Union Stock Yards.

No. 14

FROM John Graham, at the Omaha branch of Graham & Company, to his son, Pierrepont, at the Union Stock Yards, Chicago. The old man has been advised by wire of the arrival of a prospective partner, and that the mother, the son, and the business are all doing well.

OMAHA, October 6, 1900.

Dear Pierrepont: I’m so blame glad it’s a boy that I’m getting over feeling sorry it ain’t a girl, and I’m almost reconciled to it’s not being twins. Twelve pounds, bully! Maybe that doesn’t keep up the Graham reputation for giving good weight! But I’m coming home on the run to heft him myself, because I never knew a fellow who wouldn’t lie a little about the weight of number one, and then, when you led him up to the hay scales, claim that it’s a well-known scientific principle that children shrink during the first week like a ham in smoke. Allowing for tare, though, if he still nets ten I’ll feel that he’s a credit to the brand.

It’s a great thing to be sixty minutes old, with nothing in the world except a blanket and an appetite, and the whole fight ahead of you; but it’s pretty good, too, to be sixty years old, and a grandpop, with twenty years of fight left in you still. It sort of makes me feel, though, as if it were almost time I had a young fellow hitched up beside me who was strong enough to pull his half of the load and willing enough so that he’d keep the traces taut on his side. I don’t want any double-team arrangement where I have to pull the load and the other horse, too. But you seem strong, and you act willing, so when I get back I reckon we’ll hitch for a little trial spin. A good partner ought to be like a good wife-a source of strength to a man. But it isn’t reasonable to tie up with six and expect that you’re going to have half a dozen happy homes.

They say that there are three generations between shirt-sleeves and shirt-sleeves in a good many families, but I don’t want any such gap as that in ours. I hope to live long enough to see the kid with us at the Stock Yards, and all three of us with our coats off hustling to make the business hum. If I shouldn’t, you must keep the boy strong in the faith. It makes me a little uneasy when I go to New York and see the carryings-on of some of the old merchants’ grandchildren. I don’t think it’s true, as Andy says, that to die rich is to die disgraced, but it’s the case pretty often that to die rich is to be disgraced afterward by a lot of light-weight heirs.

Every now and then some blame fool stops me on the street to say that he supposes I’ve got to the point now where I’m going to quit and enjoy myself; and when I tell him I’ve been enjoying myself for forty years and am going to keep right on at it, he goes off shaking his head and telling people I’m a money-grubber. He can’t see that it’s the fellow who doesn’t enjoy his work and who quits just because he’s made money that’s the money-grubber; or that the man who keeps right on is fighting for something more than a little sugar on his bread and butter.

When a doctor reaches the point where he’s got a likely little bunch of dyspeptics giving him ten dollars apiece for telling them to eat something different from what they have been eating, and to chew it-people don’t ask him why he doesn’t quit and live on the interest of his dyspepsia money. By the time he’s gained his financial independence, he’s lost his personal independence altogether. For it’s just about then that he’s reached the age where he can put a little extra sense and experience into his pills; so he can’t turn around without some one’s sticking out his tongue at him and asking him to guess what he had for dinner that disagreed with him. It never occurs to these people that he will let his experience and ability go to waste, just because he has made money enough to buy a little dyspepsia of his own, and it never occurs to him to quit for any such foolish reason.

You’ll meet a lot of first-class idiots in this world, who regard business as low and common, because their low and common old grandpas made money enough so they don’t have to work. And you’ll meet a lot of second-class fools who carry a line of something they call culture, which bears about the same relation to real education that canned corned beef does to porterhouse steak with mushrooms; and these fellows shudder a little at the mention of business, and moan over the mad race for wealth, and deplore the coarse commercialism of the age. But while they may have no special use for a business man, they always have a particular use for his money. You want to be ready to spring back while you’re talking to them, because when a fellow doesn’t think it’s refined to mention money, and calls it an honorarium, he’s getting ready to hit you for a little more than the market price. I’ve had dealings with a good many of these shy, sensitive souls who shrink from mentioning the dollar, but when it came down to the point of settling the bill, they usually tried to charge a little extra for the shock to their refinement.

The fact of the matter is, that we’re all in trade when we’ve got anything, from poetry to pork, to sell; and it’s all foolishness to talk about one fellow’s goods being sweller than another’s. The only way in which he can be different is by making them better. But if we haven’t anything to sell, we ain’t doing anything to shove the world along; and we ought to make room on it for some coarse, commercial cuss with a sample-case.

I’ve met a heap of men who were idling through life because they’d made money or inherited it, and so far as I could see, about all that they could do was to read till they got the dry rot, or to booze till they got the wet rot. All books and no business makes Jack a jack-in-the-box, with springs and wheels in his head; all play and no work makes Jack a jackass, with bosh in his skull. The right prescription for him is play when he really needs it, and work whether he needs it or not; for that dose makes Jack a cracker-jack.

Like most fellows who haven’t any too much of it, I’ve a great deal of respect for education, and that’s why I’m sorry to see so many men who deal in it selling gold-bricks to young fellows who can’t afford to be buncoed. It would be a mighty good thing if we could put a lot of the professors at work in the offices and shops, and give these canned-culture boys jobs in the glue and fertilizer factories until a little of their floss and foolishness had worn off. For it looks to an old fellow, who’s taking a bird’s-eye view from the top of a packing house, as if some of the colleges were still running their plants with machinery that would have been sent to the scrap-heap, in any other business, a hundred years ago. They turn out a pretty fair article as it is, but with improved machinery they could save a lot of waste and by-products and find a quicker market for their output. But it’s the years before our kid goes to college that I’m worrying about now. For I believe that we ought to teach a boy how to use his hands as well as his brain; that he ought to begin his history lessons in the present and work back to B.C. about the time he is ready to graduate; that he ought to know a good deal about the wheat belt before he begins loading up with the list of Patagonian products; that he ought to post up on Abraham Lincoln and Grover Cleveland and Thomas Edison first, and save Rameses Second to while away the long winter evenings after business hours, because old Rameses is embalmed and guaranteed to keep anyway; that if he’s inclined to be tonguey he ought to learn a living language or two, which he can talk when a Dutch buyer pretends he doesn’t understand English, before he tackles a dead one which in all probability he will only give decent interment in his memory.

Of course, it’s a fine thing to know all about the past and to have the date when the geese cackled in Rome down pat, but life is the present and the future. The really valuable thing which we get from the past is experience, and a fellow can pick up a pretty fair working line of that along La Salle Street. A boy’s education should begin with today, deal a little with tomorrow, and then go back to day before yesterday. But when a fellow begins with the past, it’s apt to take him too long to catch up with the present. A man can learn better most of the things that happened between A.D. 1492 and B.C. 5000 after he’s grown, for then he can sense their meaning and remember what’s worth knowing. But you take the average boy who’s been loaded up with this sort of stuff, and dig into him, and his mind is simply a cemetery of useless dates from the tombstones of those tough and sporty old kings, with here and there the jaw-bone of an ass who made a living by killing every one in sight and unsettling business for honest men. Some professors will tell you that it’s good training anyway to teach boys a lot of things they’re going to forget, but it’s been my experience that it’s the best training to teach them things they’ll remember.

I simply mention these matters in a general way. I don’t want you to underestimate the value of any sort of knowledge, and I want you to appreciate the value of other work besides your own-music and railroading, ground and lofty tumbling and banking, painting pictures and soap advertising; because if you’re not broad enough to do this you’re just as narrow as those fellows who are running the culture corner, and your mind will get so blame narrow it will overlap.

I want to raise our kid to be a poor man’s son, and then, if it’s necessary, we can always teach him how to be a rich one’s. Child nature is human nature, and a man who understands it can make his children like the plain, sensible things and ways as easily as the rich and foolish ones. I remember a nice old lady who was raising a lot of orphan grandchildren on a mighty slim income. They couldn’t have chicken often in that house, and when they did it was a pretty close fit and none to throw away. So instead of beginning with the white meat and stirring up the kids like a cage full of hyenas when the "feeding the carnivora" sign is out, she would play up the pieces that don’t even get a mention on the bill-of-fare of a two-dollar country hotel. She would begin by saying in a please-don’t-all-speak-at-once tone, "Now, children, who wants this dear little neck?" and naturally they all wanted it, because it was pretty plain to them that it was something extra sweet and juicy. So she would allot it as a reward of goodness to the child who had been behaving best, and throw in the gizzard for nourishment. The nice old lady always helped herself last, and there was nothing left for her but white meat.

It isn’t the final result which the nice old lady achieved, but the first one, that I want to commend. A child naturally likes the simple things till you teach him to like the rich ones; and it’s just as easy to start him with books and amusements that hold sense and health as those that are filled with slop and stomach-ache. A lot of mothers think a child starts out with a brain that can’t learn anything but nonsense; so when Maudie asks a sensible question they answer in goo-goo gush. And they believe that a child can digest everything from carpet tacks to fried steak, so whenever Willie hollers they think he’s hungry, and try to plug his throat with a banana.

You want to have it in mind all the time while you’re raising this boy that you can’t turn over your children to subordinates, any more than you can your business, and get good results. Nurses and governesses are no doubt all right in their place, but there’s nothing "just as good" as a father and mother. A boy doesn’t pick up cuss-words when his mother’s around or learn cussedness from his father. Yet a lot of mothers turn over the children, along with the horses and dogs, to be fed and broken by the servants, and then wonder from which side of the family Isobel inherited her weak stomach, and where she picked up her naughty ways, and why she drops the h’s from some words and pronounces others with a brogue. But she needn’t look to Isobel for any information, because she is the only person about the place with whom the child ain’t on free and easy terms.

I simply mention these things in passing. Life is getting broader and business bigger right along, and we’ve got to breed a better race of men if we’re going to keep just a little ahead of it. There are a lot of problems in the business now-trust problems and labor problems-that I’m getting old enough to shirk, which you and the boy must meet, though I’m not doing any particular worrying about them. While I believe that the trusts are pretty good things in theory, a lot of them have been pretty bad things in practice, and we shall be mighty slow to hook up with one.

The trouble is that too many trusts start wrong. A lot of these fellows take a strong, sound business idea-the economy of cost in manufacture and selling-and hitch it to a load of the rottenest business principle in the bunch-the inflation of the value of your plant and stock-, and then wonder why people hold their noses when their outfit drives down Wall Street. Of course, when you stop a little leakage between the staves and dip out the sugar by the bucket from the top, your net gain is going to be a deficit for somebody. So if these fellows try to do business as they should do it, by clean and sound methods and at fair and square prices, they can’t earn money enough to satisfy their stockholders, and they get sore; and if they try to do business in the only way that’s left, by clubbing competition to death, and gouging the public, then the whole country gets sore. It seems to me that a good many of these trusts are at a stage where the old individual character of the businesses from which they came is dead, and a new corporate character hasn’t had time to form and strengthen. Naturally, when a youngster hangs fire over developing a conscience, he’s got to have one licked into him.

Personally, I want to see fewer businesses put into trusts on the canned-soup theory-add hot water and serve-before I go into one; and I want to know that the new concern is going to put a little of itself into every case that leaves the plant, just as I have always put in a little of myself. Of course, I don’t believe that this stage of the trusts can last, because, in the end, a business that is founded on doubtful values and that makes money by doubtful methods will go to smash or be smashed, and the bigger the business the bigger the smash. The real trust-busters are going to be the crooked trusts, but so long as they can keep out of jail they will make it hard for the sound and straight ones to prove their virtue. Yet once the trust idea strikes bed-rock, and a trust is built up of sound properties on a safe valuation; once the most capable man has had time to rise to the head, and a new breed, trained to the new idea, to grow up under him; and once dishonest competition-not hard competition-is made a penitentiary offense, and the road to the penitentiary macadamized so that it won’t be impassable to the fellows who ride in automobiles-then there’ll be no more trust-busting talk, because a trust will be the most efficient, the most economical, and the most profitable way of doing business; and there’s no use bucking that idea or no sense in being so foolish as to want to. It would be like grabbing a comet by the tail and trying to put a twist in it. And there’s nothing about it for a young fellow to be afraid of, because a good man isn’t lost in a big business-he simply has bigger opportunities and more of them. The larger the interests at stake, the less people are inclined to jeopardize them by putting them in the hands of any one but the best man in sight.

I’m not afraid of any trust that’s likely to come along for a while, because Graham & Co. ain’t any spring chicken. I’m not too old to change, but I don’t expect to have to just yet, and so long as the trust and labor situation remains as it is I don’t believe that you and I and the kid can do much better than to follow my old rule:

Mind your own business; own your own business; and run your own business.

Your affectionate father,



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