The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 Volume XVII, Number 215

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Art in the Park. Celebrate George Washington Carver’s love of art as local artists create works of art throughout the park’s landscape. Hands-on demonstrations will be provided by talented artists and guides 10:00 - 3:00 a.m. More information @ 417-325-4151 or visit

Did Ya Know?...MOCHIP CHILD ID program will be available from 9:00 - 3:00 at the Episcopal Church, 820 Howard St., Saturday, April 25th. This program is provided free of charge thanks to Missouri Freemasons and sponsors. Please call David Jones at 417-358-8816 for more information.

today's laugh

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year and a half of Bob’s cow planting cow patties in Bill’s yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill’s house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what’s in the 18-wheeler.

‘My new pet elephant,’ Bill replies solemly.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Death By Electric Car.

The electric car due in Carthage at half past 2 yesterday afternoon ran over and killed a bull dog on the grade just south of Centennial avenue. The tax had not been paid on the animal and this suggests to Marshal Bruffet an easier way than shooting to get rid of the delinquent dogs.

The Market Fair managers are repainting the inside of the grand stand at the fair grounds. The paint now on the seats rubs off badly and the new paint is being put on to remedy that difficulty.

Rev. J.B. Culpepper is expected here this evening with his tent, in which he will commence a revival meeting tomorrow night. His meeting at Lamar closed last night. The tent, which will seat about 4,000 people, will be pitched on the county lot just west of the jail. It is expected to have a chorus choir of some two hundred voices, and the music will be a special feature of the meeting.

  Today's Feature

Gridlock In Carthage.

The City Council Public Safety Committee was presented with the problem of traffic congestion around the new Carthage High School during its regular meeting Monday evening. Police Chief Greg Dagnan reported that traffic grid lock initially occurred after the school opened and it took up to forty minutes to empty the school parking lot.

Students are beginning to find better routes out of the area now according to Dagnan, with typical exit times reduced to about fifteen minutes.

Some students have resorted to parking on River Street to avoid the confusion, but the Committee is considering making the area a no parking.

According to Director of Public Works Chad Wampler, modifications to the intersection at River and Airport Drive should be completed in about six weeks. It will improve the situation some, says Wampler, but the amount of traffic generated by students will still cause delays.

Long term plans call for a streetlight at the intersection, but the $180,000 price tag for the project is not funded.

Missouri Child Identification and

Protection Program.

The Missouri Child Identification & Protection Program will be held this Saturday April 25, 2009 from 9:00 to 3:00 p.m. at the Episcopal Church at 820 Howard St. in Carthage.

The program consists of five major components: Digital Photograph, Digital Fingerprints, Child Information and Emergency Contacts, Dental Bite Impressions, and Two Laminated ID Cards. All information collected will be given to the child’s guardian on a mini-CD computer disk which is "AMBER ALERT" ready.

The service is free, and sponsored by Masonic Children’s Foundation, Carthage Lodge #197 AF & AM, and Criterion Lodge #586 AF & AM. To download forms prior to the event go to and click on "about". If you have any questions contact David Jones at 417-358-8816.


Just Jake Talkin'

Nothin’ like a big ole’ goose egg from bangin’ your head on the bottom of a table you’ve been under. Whack!

I hear that the thing to do is to apply all the pressure you can to the knot before it really starts swellin.’ It may work, but what I really hear is the screamin’ from the victim bein’ helped in this way.

I grew up with a gentler remedy. Put some ice on it. I don’t figure anything makes a lot a difference. After a day or two the size gets smaller and starts feelin’ better ‘till ya happen to bump it again.

"Feels better when it stops hurtin," my old baseball coach used ta say. Real funny guy.

At least if ya get a shiner you can make up a good story ‘bout the other guy.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.



Carthage Printing


Weekly Columns

Here’s A Tip

By JoAnn Derson

• Bored with regular coffee, but don’t want to spend a lot on flavored coffee grounds? Do it in-house and by the cup using ingredients you probably already have on hand. Use almond or vanilla extract. A few drops will flavor up a cup. Try cinnamon or cocoa powder, or stir in a butterscotch hard candy for sweetness as well as flavor.

• Here’s a great e-mail tip from G.L. that’s both money-saving and landfill-saving: "When making a quilt, you can save money by using an old blanket instead of batting."

• "I keep several toothbrushes for cleaning, and when I add one to my collection, I make sure to wrap the handle in masking tape. That way it can never be confused for a regular toothbrush again." -- R.R. in Florida

• To clean a bread board, dampen the surface, then sprinkle liberally with salt. Use the cut side of a lemon half to scrub the surface. Allow it to dry.

• "I bake a lot of pies for Easter. Now that it’s over, I have found the perfect trick to freezing them and locking in taste: plastic cereal bags. Another lady in my church brought a pie and carried it in this plastic sleeve. I asked her what kind of bag it was, and it was the waxed-paper bag from a box of cereal. She swears it works very well in the freezer, and it’s easy to just slip the pie in and seal. I’ll be using this hint for my Thanksgiving pies." -- S.W. in Wisconsin

Go Green Tip: Get an energy audit from your power provider. Most provide them for free, and some companies even offer incentives if you make changes in your home that make it more energy efficient.


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