Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of
Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of
clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those
Saint Peter answered, "Those are
Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your
clock will move.
"Oh," said Hillary,
"whose clock is that?"
"Thats Mother Teresas.
The hands have never moved indicating that she never told
"Whose clock is that?"
Lincolns clock. The hands have only moved twice
telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire
clock?" Hillary asked.
"Bills clock is in
Jesus office. Hes using it as a ceiling
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The new Missouri law creating the
office of county supervisor of schools became effective
August 15.This means state-wide county supervision of
schools and settles a long-fought-out question in most of
the counties of this state as to whether the schools of
the county should be regulated and unified by means of
It has long been possible under the
state law for a county to vote on the question and adopt
county supervision by creating the office of county
superintendent of schools, but most of the counties have
neglected to adopt this policy. This county is one of
those which enjoys the benefit of a county school
The present county superintendents will
be entitled to qualify as supervisors under this law by
making out a new bond and taking the oath of office.
Missing Mail and Cattle.
The Jasper County
Sheriffs Office is informing the
citizens of Jasper County about the
increasing numbers of mail theft and
Jasper County Sheriff
Archie Dunn suggests that residents
purchase a USPS Government Approved mail
box with front and rear locking access
He also says it's a
good idea not to put "outgoing"
mail out the night before or for extended
periods of time. And to retrieve
"Incoming" mail promptly as
Sheriff Dunn also warns
of a recent increase in cattle thefts in
Jasper County and adjoining counties in
He says that Branding
is the best first step. Any permanent,
unique mark readily visible from twenty
feet or more is the number one way to
identify livestock if they disappear.
"If cattle do go
missing and you make a report to your
local law enforcement agency, provide
them with the branding tool or design, or
a picture of such," says Dunn.
If ya didn't buy a new car over the
weekend, today is the last day of the "Cash
for Clunkers" program.
I see where the classic car
buffs are gettin' worried that the new breed of
vehicles bein' made today just won't ever become
The other concern I've heard is
that folks that usually buy the older cars for
their transportation won't have much of a
selection after all the scrap piles from the
clunker round-up. Gonna disrupt the whole used
car market some say.
I suppose the up-side is that
those who hold on to the older models may see
their value increase with such a limited supply
'Course those who decided not
to take on a car payment may be the real winners.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
This is a Hammer
Fixing a Leaky
Q: I have a kitchen sink that
has two faucets (hot and cold) that drip all day
long, no matter how much I tighten the handles.
Is this something I can fix? -- Harry in Palo
A: A faucet drip is a very
common problem and certainly one that every
do-it-yourselfer should tackle, if only to build
moral fiber. There will be a bit of elbow grease
involved, but when the drip stops, it's a great
For your type of faucet, you'll
need an Allen wrench, an adjustable wrench and a
small screwdriver. You'll also need replacement
parts: a set of washers and possibly new valve
seats (if the valve seats are removable;
otherwise, you'll need a seat grinder, a special
tool available in the plumbing department of your
Turn off the water supply to
the faucet at the nearest valve. Open the faucet
to drain excess water. When the supply has
stopped, remove the faucet handles. Your kitchen
handles probably have plastic caps on the top --
carefully pry up the caps with a screwdriver and
remove the retaining screw, then pry the handles
up from the bottom, being careful not to scratch
What you'll see when the handle
comes off is the stem, and about halfway down
that stem you'll see an area that bulges out
(wide enough to fit the opening of the valve).
Use an adjustable wrench to unscrew the packing
nut -- using a counterclockwise motion -- and
pull it out.
At the bottom of this assembly,
you'll see a small brass screw. This holds the
seat washer in place, and this is the washer you
want to get at. Remove the small screw and
replace the seat washer with a new washer of the
While the packing nut is out,
inspect the valve seat: the receptacle in the
base of the faucet body where the packing nut
resides. If it looks pitted or worn, it needs to
either be replaced or smoothed with the seat
grinder. A valve seat that isn't built into the
faucet body can usually be removed using an Allen
wrench and turning counterclockwise.
Reassemble the faucet handles
and open the faucet. Turn on the water at the
valve, then turn off the faucets to see if the
drip is gone.
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