tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor
stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the
trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is
the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an
old horse. The horse said again, "Its the
carburetor thats not working." The American
nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub,
had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what
the horse had said to him.
Murphy said, "Well, dont pay
any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the
newsroom to pay for her husbands obituary. She was
told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word
and he remembered Pete and wasnt it too bad about
She thanked him for his kind words but
she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary,
The newsman said he thought old Pete
deserved more and hed give her three more words at
Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and
rewrote: "Pete died. Boat for sale"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
on Third Street Miner Suspected of Incendiarism.
There was a lively blaze and
considerable excitement about Frank D. Porters feed
yard on Third street at half past two this afternoon.
A miner named Grant Mills who was very
drunk, was seen to hurry out of the stable at the east
end of the wagon yard and immediately a heavy smoke
notified people that a fire was in progress.
Superintendent Nall of the poor farm
was about the first on the ground and his stentorian
voice soon brought the fire department Mahlon Thornton,
Porters head clerk, pursued the flying miner and
brought him to bay with a well directed blow to the ear.
Ed Thompson, Porters driver, rescued the only horse
in the barn, and a dozen excited farmers broke down the
fence and hustled their teams and wagons out of the sheds
The Jasper County University of
Missouri Extension Center now has Missouri
Department of Conservation order forms for
seedling trees and shrubs. For over sixty years,
the George O. White State Forest Nursery, near
Licking, MO, offers Missouri landowners seedling
trees and shrubs. Each year they offer a wide
variety of seedlings for reforestation,
windbreaks, erosion control, as well as wildlife
food and cover. Seedling bundles range from $4 to
$30. Prices for each species and special bundles
are listed on the order form. It also outlines
the ordering procedure.
In addition to individual
species choices, several bundles of mixed
species, designed for special purpose plantings,
may be purchased. These include a conservation
bundle, wildlife cover bundle, pecan variety
bundle, and a quail cover bundle.
The time you place your order -
not the delivery date - determines your priority
for reserving trees. It is important to place
orders as soon as possible because reservations
for trees are made on a "first-come,
first-serve" basis until supplies are
depleted. Each year many species sell out
You may have your trees shipped
to you, or you may pick them up at the George O.
White Nursery near Licking, MO.
Persons planning to make large
plantings may wish to request free advice from
the Missouri Department of Conservation Forester
or Wildlife Services Biologist for their area.
These individuals may be contacted through the
Missouri Department of Conservation Offices in
Neosho or Joplin.
University of Missouri Guide
Sheets: G5008 "How to Plant Forest
Trees", G5006 "Before You Order Tree
Seedlings", G5900 "Planning Tree
Windbreaks in Missouri" and G5009
"Mechanical Tree Planting" are among
those available at the University of Missouri
Extension Center in each county.
For additional information, or
to order trees online, go to mdc.mo.gov/7294 or
contact the Jasper County University of Missouri
Extension Center located in the Courthouse
Basement, Carthage, MO or call 417-358-2158.
There are some things ya
just dont want to talk about.
My brother couldnt
eat chicken for years after he helped a farm
wife round up supper one summer evenin.
He found that neck ringin wasnt
somethin he needed to know about.
I have trouble talkin
about broken legs. After hobblin around
for a couple months waitin on a bone to
heal a few years ago, I cant hear about
someones fracture without wincin
Women who are pregnant
always seem to spark conversations about
troubles with child birth.
Knowledge may be power, but
sometimes there is a short circuit.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Headaches Are Most Common Kind
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I went to the
doctor because of headaches. On examining my
eyes, she discovered that my pupils dont
constrict and dilate. She sent me to an eye
doctor. He said I have an Adies pupil. Is
this a disease or a syndrome? Can this be causing
my headaches? He told me it was nothing.
My headaches feel like
theres a tight cap on my head. Please
enlighten me on these things. -- G.S.
ANSWER: An Adies
(AID-ease) pupil is one that is slightly larger
than the other pupil and it narrows very slowly
when a bright light is shined on it. Its
not an indication of illness and has nothing to
do with your headaches. If other signs are
present, like a loss of the knee-jerk reflex when
the knee tendon is struck with a rubber hammer,
then you call the mix Adies syndrome.
Your headaches fit the
description of tension headaches, the most common
kind of headache. People who have them say they
feel like a tight band encircles their head or
that a weight is on their head or that their head
is squeezed or, as you say, that they are wearing
a tight cap. Pain is felt on both sides of the
head, and rarely is it throbbing pain, as it is
with many other headaches. The pain lasts from
half an hour to seven days.
These headaches are called
tension headaches because at one time they were
believed to result from contraction of the scalp
muscle. Now the explanation is that innocent
brain signals are misinterpreted by the brain as
pain signals. If that explanation helps you, it
doesnt do much for me.
Start treatment of your
headache without drugs. Heat packs to the neck or
head might ease them. If heat doesnt do the
trick, try ice. Massage sometimes work,
especially neck massage. Get enough sleep, but
not too much. Too much is as bad as too little.
Popular tension headache
medicines are aspirin and Tylenol
(acetaminophen). If they arent effective,
tablets that combine them with caffeine can be.
Caffeine enhances their painkilling properties.
Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin), naproxen (Naprosyn)
and Ketoprofen (a prescription drug) have a good
batting average against these headaches.
Dont overuse medicine. Constant use
promotes constant headaches.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.