| today's
laugh A taxpayer
received a strongly worded "second notice" that
his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s
office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he
had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector
with a smile, "we don’t send out first notices.
We have found that the second notices are more
effective."
When NASA first started sending up
astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens
would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists
spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on
almost any surface including glass and at temperatures
ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.
The Russians use a pencil.
It sounds like English, but I
can’t understand a word you’re saying.
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
One Above Zero.
The weather this morning was decidedly
the coldest of the season, the thermometer registering
one degree above zero. It has moderated somewhat during
the day but the mercury has gotten little above the
freezing point. Continued cold is predicted for tomorrow.
Skating is said to be good on the brick yard pond and
boys with skates on their arms were headed that
direction, this afternoon.
An Old Document
Picked Up.
E.P. Purcell picked up in the corridor
of the Harrington hotel this morning an old and
interesting document which some one had dropped there. It
is a subpoena in the Alexander Jester case, dated March
4, 1870, the case being then on trial in Butler county,
Kansas. How it got here at this time is not known.
Jester, it will be remembered, is the old man recently
arrested in the territory for an old murder committed
near Mexico, Mo., his case attracting national interest.
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Today's Feature Jasper County
Clean-up Funds.
Missouri Attorney General Chris
Koster announced that Missouri will get more than
$64 million in environmental cleanup money as a
result of a federal bankruptcy reorganization of
American Smelting and Refining Company LLC
(ASARCO).
Koster said ASARCO’s
bankruptcy resulted in the largest recovery of
money ever for hazardous waste cleanup and
restoration, with $1.79 billion going to 19
states.
Sites in Jasper and Newton
counties in the Tri-State area are receiving
$3.25 million and sites in St. Francois, Iron,
and Madison counties are receiving $1.25 million.
The money will be used to reimburse the state for
past costs to assess injury to the state’s
natural resources and for future costs to oversee
site cleanup. In addition, the state has joint
claims with the federal Department of the
Interior totaling $55 million to pay for damages
for injury to our natural resources. In addition,
$5 million is being paid to the state and the Doe
Run Company to complete cleanup at the Glover
smelter site.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’m not sure what they
mean anymore by sayin’ how many
shoppin’ days there are ‘till
Christmas. Anymore you can shop ‘bout
any day ya want to.
I’m assumin’ that
they used ta figure just six shoppin’
days in a week. That made the number of
shoppin’ day less and therefore made ya
think ya had less time. However ya figure it
now, there are less than two weeks ta do
whatever chores ya need ta get done ‘for
Christmas day.
‘Course with Christmas
fallin’ on Friday this year, a lotta
folks will be out the followin’ weekend,
lookin’ for those after Christmas sales.
Seems there is always a battle for the half
price wrappin’ paper and decorations.
I’m sure I’ll see a few of ya
there.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
• Go Green Tip: Even I am
guilty of loving the big box stores, but for a
nice gift alternative, check out your local
farmers’ market. Stalls are popping up with
locally made treasures and handcrafts. Avoid the
long lines and pick up something special while
supporting your local craftspeople.
• Keep those special
chains and necklaces untangled. Slip them through
a drinking straw and then fasten the clasp. The
chain will stay straight, and you can store many
together this way.
• "Have you forgotten
what you gave your friends or relatives on
birthdays/Christmas/holidays? Simply use your
calendar on the appropriate day, making a note of
what and to whom you gave a gift. Where
Easter/Christmas has a long list, there is
usually space at the top or bottom of the page of
the month." -- P.B. in British Colombia,
Canada
• M.S. in Missouri writes:
"If you are short a serving tray, use a
large enough piece of cardboard and wrap it up in
aluminum foil. You also can use holiday boxes
lined with a coordinating-color tea towel to
serve breads."
• If you have an
indentation in your carpet from furniture legs,
try placing an ice cube in the indentation and
letting it melt. Moisture is slowly introduced
into the fibers as the ice cube melts, and this
can sometimes plump them up!
• Use a damp paper towel
to rub the silk from ears of corn after removing
the husks.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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