| today's
laugh An eccentric
philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after
a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The
class was already seated and ready to go when the
professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and
wrote on the board: "Using everything we have
learned this semester, prove that this chair does not
exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks
were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over
30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence
of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and
finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were
posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have
gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What
chair?"
An alarming number of people suffer
from seriousness.
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Cooking Club
Reception.
The T.H.S. cooking club held a
reception at the home of the Misses Gladden, on South
Grant street, yesterday evening, that will be long
remembered by those so fortunate as to be present. The
club is composed of a number of young ladies, who meet
every week to study and demonstrate the art of cooking, a
fine dinner being the result each week. Last night they
concluded to invite in their gentlemen friends and let
them share in the good things.
The young men had no kindly friend to
warn them of the troubles ahead, but responded innocently
to the tempting invitations. On arrival their
astonishment may be imagined at being adorned with big
gingham aprons and invited to step into the kitchen and
prepare the feast. The girls had great sport in
initiating their victims, but finally took pity on them
and assisted them so effectually that the resulting
dinner was enough to tempt the poorest appetite.
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Today's Feature Paperless
Council Put on Hold.
The City Council voted last
week to postpone the idea eliminating most of the
paper it uses during its regular meeting
schedule. The Council budgeted $17,000 for this
fiscal year to upgrade City Hall computers and
supply each Council member a small laptop
computer.
The hope was to begin the
process of putting most of the information that
Council members receive concerning various issues
on an electronic file. Council members would then
get the file either by email or a disc that would
be loaded onto their laptop. Bids received for
the project were well above the budgeted amount
so an alternative solution was approved.
The Council approved a
recommendation from the Finance and Personnel
Committee to eliminate the purchase of the laptop
computers except for one and accept a bid of
$15,185.27 to upgrade to a new server, purchase
two digital projectors, and replace some desktop
computers. The plan is to use the projectors to
display various documents during council meetings
and eliminate some paper and effort for the City
staff.
Not Everybody
Loses on Bank Failure Friday
by Jake Bernstein, ProPublica
Three more banks failed on
Friday, bringing the year’s total to 133.
The FDIC estimates Friday’s failures will
cost its insurance fund a combined $252.1
million. While the failures represent another hit
to the FDIC’s depleted fund, they are a boon
to three companies that acquired the assets and
deposits of the closed institutions.
The first to go for the day was
Republic Federal Bank of Miami, Florida. The bank
had total assets of approximately $433 million
and deposits of approximately $352.7 million. 1st
United Bank of Boca Raton assumed all the
deposits of the failed bank, paying the FDIC a
premium of 1.2 percent for them. It also
purchased $267.1 million of the failed
bank’s assets including loans, cash and
marketable investment securities.
The South Florida Business
Journal reports that in November the parent of
1st United was the first bank in Florida to pay
back its TARP loan. On December 8, a special
meeting of shareholders of 1st United Bancorp
also voted to increase shares in the company to
raise money for acquisitions. There should be
plenty more failed institutions to buy in South
Florida, a region where small banks are now
reeling from the consequences of aggressive
lending into a real estate bubble.
Next to go was Valley Capital
Bank of Mesa, Arizona. As of September 30, Valley
Capital had total assets of approximately $40.3
million and total deposits of approximately $41.3
million. The FDIC sold the deposits to Enterprise
Bank & Trust of Clayton, Missouri at a 2
percent premium. Enterprise also agreed to
purchase most of the failed bank’s assets.
While Valley Capital had only
one branch, it’s acquisition allows
Enterprise, with $2.5 billion in assets, a
valuable entry into the Arizona market. Last
year, Enterprise tried to open a bank in Arizona
but state regulators had stopped issuing new
charters because of the economy, the St. Louis
Post-Dispatch reports.
The last failure of the evening
was 122-year-old SolutionsBank of Overland Park,
Kansas. As of September 30, SolutionsBank had
total assets of $511.1 million and total deposits
of approximately $421.3 million. Arvest Bank of
Fayetteville, Arkansas assumed all of the
deposits of SolutionsBank without paying a
premium to the FDIC.
Arvest is owned by the family
of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. founder Sam Walton. It
has twice bid unsuccessfully for failed banks in
an effort to break into the Kansas City market,
the Kansas City Star reports. With 220 branches
spread over Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, and
Arkansas, Arvest is already a regional player
that thanks to the misfortunes of others just got
a bit bigger.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
With all the hubbub of
activity surroundin’ Christmas, some
folks tend to loose their patience easier and
become a little more prone to the irritable
side of their personalities. I suppose I
might fall into that category from time to
time.
Topin’ my list of
things that get me talkin’ to my self is
sittin’ behind a car at a stop sign for
a minute or so while the driver completes a
phone call. Oh, they pretend to be
lookin’ both ways and checkin’ out
the traffic, but it’s obvious there is
no one in sight. I’m sure the call is
important, but it does test the Christmas
spirit a tad.
Now I suppose there are
things I do on occasion that irritate some,
so I try to balance my irritation with the
hope that I will be forgiven some of my
trespasses.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns Breathing Tips for
COPD
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I remember
reading something you wrote a long time ago about
the proper way to breathe for people with chronic
obstructive pulmonary disease. I didn’t need
the information then. I do now. Until recently, I
smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day, for
35 years. It caught up with me all of a sudden. I
have COPD. I need you to repeat those
recommendations again. Will you? -- T.R.
ANSWER: Sure. (For readers:
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, COPD, is
emphysema and chronic bronchitis.)
Pursed-lip breathing is one
technique that helps. Draw your lips into the
whistling position when you breathe out. The lips
are in the right position if the outgoing air
makes a hissing sound as it passes through them.
Pursed-lip breathing keeps the airways opened so
all stale air is emptied from the lungs. In
people with COPD, on exhalation, the airways
collapse. That leaves them partially filled with
old air containing little oxygen. By getting all
the oxygen-low air out of the lungs, fresh air
fills them and a person isn’t shortchanged
on oxygen.
Exhale slowly, twice the length
of time it takes to inhale.
You have to train yourself to
use your diaphragm to its maximum capacity. The
diaphragm is the horizontal muscle that separates
the chest from the abdomen. It’s the
principal breathing muscle. When the diaphragm
moves downward, air rushes into the lungs.
To make sure you’re using
your diaphragm, lie on your back with your hands
on your abdomen. Breathe normally. When you
breathe in, your hands should move out as the
diaphragm descends. You have to consciously use
the diaphragm with each inhalation until it
becomes second nature for you.
Another trick that makes more
room for air in the lungs is to bend a bit
forward at the waist when you stand or walk.
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