rural area, Sunday morning, church is packed and the
devil decides to pay a visit.
The doors burst open, and a roiling
black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People
jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all
except for two. One is the Pastor, the other is an
Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to
the Pastor and says, "You! I can understand why you
didnt run away, you are in your Lords house,
you preach against me everyday and you arent afraid
of me. But YOU (points to the farmer), why didnt
you run out scared like everyone else?"
The farmer crosses one leg over the
other and drawls, "Why, Im surprised you
dont recognize me...Ive been married to your
sister for 36 years!"
The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SYCAMORE STREET BRIDGE.
The Sycamore street bridge over the
Missouri Pacific railway has been completed and Mayor
Harrington, Street Commissioner Eness and City Engineer
Edwards drove out this morning, inspected the work and
accepted the structure in the name of the city.
It is one of the largest and best
bridges of the kind in the city and is the culmination of
a twelve year fight with the Missouri Pacific railway to
get a bridge built at this crossing, which is the last
one where such a structure is necessary.
The city council recently requested
that the graded approached to this bridge be rounded up
in the middle, thus giving proper drainage at each side
of the road, but the contractor already had the
approaches graded flat, and as it was according to the
specifications previously accepted by the city, the
change could not be required.
The Missouri Pacific not only built
this bridge, but have to keep it in repair.
Joplin City and Jasper County
Health Departments have scheduled an H1N1 Flu
Vaccine Clinic on Tuesday, December 8, 2009 from
4 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. the Clinic will be at Access
Family Care, 530 Maiden Lane in Joplin. During
the clinic, the live, attenuated influenza
vaccine, commonly know as nasal spray will be
administered. The 2009 H1N1 spray vaccine is
recommended for healthy people age 2 years to 49
Due to the limited availability
of the H1N1 vaccine from CDC, eligibility to
receive the vaccine during this clinic will be
based on the CDCs recommended priority
groups which include:
healthy people aged
between 2 years to 24 years of age:
healthy people ages 2-49
living with or caring for infants younger than 6
months of age; and
health care or emergency
medical personnel up to age 49 with no chronic
Children 9 years of age and
younger that have received on dose of H1N1 should
receive another dose it has been at least 28 days
from the first.
Ive gotten into a
couple a conversations bout the trials
of bein a kid in the last week or two.
Not the stuff ya hear about taday, the
important trials like fallin off a bike
or gettin hit with a baseball.
I suppose as a kid we
didnt think much of a broken arm or a
sprained ankle as bein anything that
devastatin. Thats why takin
some risks while at play was so common. I was
shown scars ta prove it.
I suppose I was fortunate
that durin these conversations there
were plenty of stories bein told and I
didnt get the chance to relay any of my
own. I always thought of my childhood as
bein filled with some adventure or
another, but it seems it was pretty typical
of the times. But even today skinned knees
are pretty good teachers.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin
HERES A TIP
cutting Christmas wrapping paper, I open my
adjustable dining-room table just a crack so a
paring knife fits in. Then lay the paper flat,
and by following the crack, you can cut a
straight line, and it is so quick to do." --
H.H. in Minnesota
substitute for sprinkles on cupcakes at
Christmastime, we freeze gumdrops and shred them
on a fine shredder. They are so pretty, and
really festive." -- B., via e-mail
let the kids decorate our holiday storage tubs
last year with a mass of stickers and permanent
markers. It seemed like decoration overkill at
the time (they were 3 and 5), but there was no
mistaking those tubs when we went to get them
from the attic this year. They stood WAY
out!" -- T.C. in Tennessee
You can get
baskets and containers year-round at second-hand
stores. And while youre at it, clean and
save glass jars. Get yourself a nice bread,
cookie or brownie recipe, and create a recipe
gift for a personal touch. Stick a few utensils
and perhaps canned ingredients in the basket, and
youre ready to give the gift of yummy.
one spouse get the kids out of the way (say, by
taking them to the park) while the other is
tackling big chores such as cooking, cleaning or
hanging holiday lights." -- E.E. in Idaho
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.