A lawyer had a
jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client,
who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury
came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and
The lawyer immediately sent a telegram
to his client, reading, "Justice has
The client wired back, "Appeal at
A golf club walks into a local bar and
asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him.
"Why not," asks the golf club.
"Youll be driving
later," replies the bartender.
I dont repeat
gossip, so listen carefully.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
TO HELP PAY FOR THE
Affects a Compromise in His Arson Case.
Grant Mills, who
was arrested last week on the charge of setting fire to
F.D. Porters barn while gloriously drunk is at
liberty and if he does as he has agreed will not be
further prosecuted on the charge of arson. He was brought
into Justice Woodwards court this morning where he
agreed to pay all costs in the case up to the present
time and also signed a paper agreeing to pay F.D. Porter
$75 towards paying for a new barn to replace the one
Mr. Mills says
he did not set the barn on fire or if he did he does not
know it. He says, however, he was found under suspicious
circumstances and rather than give his mother the trouble
and worry she would have if he fought the case in court,
he would agree to pay half the expense of a new barn.
DC Southwest Missouri Congressman Roy Blunt
issued the following statement regarding
President Obamas announcement that he will
send 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan in
the next six months:
president tonight tried to walk a line between
the political views of those who are ready to
give up on the war in Afghanistan, and the
real-world needs of both our troops on the ground
and the Afghan people, all of whom need to have
confidence that the U.S. is there to get the job
Im pleased that he will take steps toward
adopting General McChrystals troop level
recommendations, setting a published timetable
while announcing a troop increase will satisfy
neither of those groups.
continue to believe that our troops and their
commanders need clear and unambiguous strategic
direction to fight and win the war in
Afghanistan. As Ive said in the past,
General McChrystal should testify directly to
Congress about whether the latest strategy out of
the White House will achieve success in
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Earns His Place in History
HOMESTEAD, Fla. -- NASCAR has
been around since 1947, and after 62 years,
its rare when a driver can say hes
done what no one else has ever done.
A fifth-place finish in the
Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway enabled
Jimmie Johnson to secure his fourth straight
championship of what is now known as the Sprint
Cup Series. Cale Yarborough won three straight
championships from 1976 through 1978, a mark tied
by Johnson in 2008.
Johnson, 34, is only the fourth
driver in history to win more than three
championships overall. He tied Hendrick
Motorsports teammate Jeff Gordon, who won titles
in 1995, 97, 98 and 2001. Richard
Petty and the late Dale Earnhardt share the
all-time record with seven championships.
The champion set a proper tone
in his post-race remarks.
"I am just blown away by
the things weve been able to accomplish
over the last eight years in the sport,"
said Johnson. "Obviously, the last four
years have been just unbelievable. To love the
sport like I do and respect it like I do, and the
history, the pioneers of this sport from Bill
France Sr., to the Petty family, you go through
many eras up to Mr. (Rick) Hendrick (owner of
Johnsons No. 48 Chevy) and what hes
done over the last 25 (years), to look at all of
that, and to have done something thats
never been done in the sport before is so, so
amazing, and something I am so proud of.
"At the same time,
Ive worked my entire life to be in this
position. So has Chad (Knaus, his crew chief) and
so has Rick (Hendrick). Its not that we
backed into any of this. Its not that it
just happened. Weve gone out and worked
really, really hard and have dedicated our lives
to it, and its paid off. Its
extremely rewarding to have that payoff, and
were really going to enjoy this."
Johnson won four of the 10
Chase for the Sprint Cup races for the third time
in his career. Overall, hes won 18 of the
60 races since the format was implemented in
2004. With championships in 2006, 07 and
08, Johnson is one of only three drivers to
win championships under NASCARs present
title format. The others were Kurt Busch in 2004
and Tony Stewart in 2005.
I see there was a recent
study that say folks arent gettin
enough sleep these days. I suppose such a
study would have interested Tom Edison, who
reportedly got through his life sleepin
bout four hours a night and a couple a
cat naps durin the day.
Some research indicates
that sleep is more of a mental rest that
allows the brain to shut down for a while.
This gives the gray matter time to sort
through all the junk that gets crammed into
it durin the day, sort out the stuff it
needs ta keep, and sluff off the trash.
Course cats might
have the right idea. They sleep about ninety
percent of their life. I suppose if all
humans had ta worry about was a portion of
MeowMix and a clean cat box, wed get a
lot more sleep too.
This some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin
Metcalf Auto Parts
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
I once knew a local minister
who completely deflated all his tires twice
annually, then reinflated them with fresh air. He
claimed the procedure prevents bumpiness and
makes the car ride smother. I think hes
crazy, but his claim was just persuasive enough
to leave a slight shred of doubt in my mind. So I
thought Id end my sleepless nights spent
pondering this scenario by asking the experts.
Thanks! - Cliff
Ray: Well, we hadnt known
about this before, Cliff. But starting this
afternoon, you can get the air changed in all
four of your tires for the bargain price of
Tom: Im dying to know the
argument he used to persuade you, Cliff. I mean,
I cant even make up a plausible argument
for doing this, and yet he managed to leave you
sleepless over a period of years, thinking about
Ray: Knowing the argument
wouldnt help us sell this service to our
Tom: It wouldnt?
Ray: No. Remember, the guy was
a minister. If a minister tells you the sky is
green, youd seriously consider the
Tom: Right. But if we try to
tell a customer that the Earth is round, he stabs
his finger in our chest and says, "I know
you guys are hosing me!"
Tom: Well, heres the only
plausible explanation, Cliff. Once upon a time,
there was a black hole in the universe. And over
many billions of years, an atmosphere formed in
that black hole. Planets developed, too.
Ray: So if you drove the car
with the same air in those tires for billions of
years, you might eventually for planets in there,
which would, lead to a bumpier ride.
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