The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 3, 2009 Volume XVIII, Number 116

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... The VFW Men’s Auxiliary will hold a turkey shoot every Sunday, from 1 p.m. until 5 p.m. at the Post at the intersection of 96 & 171 highways. Public Invited, male and female.

Did Ya Know?....Saturday Jam at Red OakII every Sat. from 5 p.m. till 9. All acoustic instruments welcome.

Did Ya Know?...The First United Methodist Church, 7 & Main will hold their annual Holiday Breakfast and cookie walk on Sat. Dec. 12. 8 a.m. to noon. All you can eat breakfast $ per person

today's laugh

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.

The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"

The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"


A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.

"You’ll be driving later," replies the bartender.


I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Grant Mills Affects a Compromise in His Arson Case.

Grant Mills, who was arrested last week on the charge of setting fire to F.D. Porter’s barn while gloriously drunk is at liberty and if he does as he has agreed will not be further prosecuted on the charge of arson. He was brought into Justice Woodward’s court this morning where he agreed to pay all costs in the case up to the present time and also signed a paper agreeing to pay F.D. Porter $75 towards paying for a new barn to replace the one burned.

Mr. Mills says he did not set the barn on fire or if he did he does not know it. He says, however, he was found under suspicious circumstances and rather than give his mother the trouble and worry she would have if he fought the case in court, he would agree to pay half the expense of a new barn.

  Today's Feature



Washington, DC— Southwest Missouri Congressman Roy Blunt issued the following statement regarding President Obama’s announcement that he will send 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan in the next six months:

"The president tonight tried to walk a line between the political views of those who are ready to give up on the war in Afghanistan, and the real-world needs of both our troops on the ground and the Afghan people, all of whom need to have confidence that the U.S. is there to get the job done.

"While I’m pleased that he will take steps toward adopting General McChrystal’s troop level recommendations, setting a published timetable while announcing a troop increase will satisfy neither of those groups.

"I continue to believe that our troops and their commanders need clear and unambiguous strategic direction to fight and win the war in Afghanistan. As I’ve said in the past, General McChrystal should testify directly to Congress about whether the latest strategy out of the White House will achieve success in Afghanistan."


By Monte Dutton

Sponsored by Curry Automotive

Jimmie Johnson Earns His Place in History

HOMESTEAD, Fla. -- NASCAR has been around since 1947, and after 62 years, it’s rare when a driver can say he’s done what no one else has ever done.

A fifth-place finish in the Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway enabled Jimmie Johnson to secure his fourth straight championship of what is now known as the Sprint Cup Series. Cale Yarborough won three straight championships from 1976 through 1978, a mark tied by Johnson in 2008.

Johnson, 34, is only the fourth driver in history to win more than three championships overall. He tied Hendrick Motorsports teammate Jeff Gordon, who won titles in 1995, ‘97, ‘98 and 2001. Richard Petty and the late Dale Earnhardt share the all-time record with seven championships.

The champion set a proper tone in his post-race remarks.

"I am just blown away by the things we’ve been able to accomplish over the last eight years in the sport," said Johnson. "Obviously, the last four years have been just unbelievable. To love the sport like I do and respect it like I do, and the history, the pioneers of this sport from Bill France Sr., to the Petty family, you go through many eras up to Mr. (Rick) Hendrick (owner of Johnson’s No. 48 Chevy) and what he’s done over the last 25 (years), to look at all of that, and to have done something that’s never been done in the sport before is so, so amazing, and something I am so proud of.

"At the same time, I’ve worked my entire life to be in this position. So has Chad (Knaus, his crew chief) and so has Rick (Hendrick). It’s not that we backed into any of this. It’s not that it just happened. We’ve gone out and worked really, really hard and have dedicated our lives to it, and it’s paid off. It’s extremely rewarding to have that payoff, and we’re really going to enjoy this."

Johnson won four of the 10 Chase for the Sprint Cup races for the third time in his career. Overall, he’s won 18 of the 60 races since the format was implemented in 2004. With championships in 2006, ‘07 and ‘08, Johnson is one of only three drivers to win championships under NASCAR’s present title format. The others were Kurt Busch in 2004 and Tony Stewart in 2005.

Just Jake Talkin'

I see there was a recent study that say folks aren’t gettin’ enough sleep these days. I suppose such a study would have interested Tom Edison, who reportedly got through his life sleepin’ ‘bout four hours a night and a couple a cat naps durin’ the day.

Some research indicates that sleep is more of a mental rest that allows the brain to shut down for a while. This gives the gray matter time to sort through all the junk that gets crammed into it durin’ the day, sort out the stuff it needs ta keep, and sluff off the trash.

‘Course cats might have the right idea. They sleep about ninety percent of their life. I suppose if all humans had ta worry about was a portion of MeowMix and a clean cat box, we’d get a lot more sleep too.

This some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Parts Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

I once knew a local minister who completely deflated all his tires twice annually, then reinflated them with fresh air. He claimed the procedure prevents bumpiness and makes the car ride smother. I think he’s crazy, but his claim was just persuasive enough to leave a slight shred of doubt in my mind. So I thought I’d end my sleepless nights spent pondering this scenario by asking the experts. Thanks! - Cliff

Ray: Well, we hadn’t known about this before, Cliff. But starting this afternoon, you can get the air changed in all four of your tires for the bargain price of $99.95.

Tom: I’m dying to know the argument he used to persuade you, Cliff. I mean, I can’t even make up a plausible argument for doing this, and yet he managed to leave you sleepless over a period of years, thinking about it.

Ray: Knowing the argument wouldn’t help us sell this service to our customers, though.

Tom: It wouldn’t?

Ray: No. Remember, the guy was a minister. If a minister tells you the sky is green, you’d seriously consider the possibility.

Tom: Right. But if we try to tell a customer that the Earth is round, he stabs his finger in our chest and says, "I know you guys are hosing me!"

Tom: Well, here’s the only plausible explanation, Cliff. Once upon a time, there was a black hole in the universe. And over many billions of years, an atmosphere formed in that black hole. Planets developed, too.

Ray: So if you drove the car with the same air in those tires for billions of years, you might eventually for planets in there, which would, lead to a bumpier ride.

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