| today's
laugh Glenn took his
dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on
the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope,
listened to the dog’s chest for a moment, then shook
his head sadly. "I’m sorry, but your dog has
passed away."
"What?" Glenn screamed.
"You haven’t even done any tests! I want
another opinion."
The vet left the room and returned in a
few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever
sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe.
Finally, the Retriever shook it’s head and barked
once (meaning "dead and gone").
The vet took the Labrador away and
returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also
sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before
shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning
"he’s gone").
After the cat jumped off the table, the
vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill
at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is
dead?!!! That’s outrageous!"
The vet explained. "If you had
taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with
the Lab work and the cat scan...."
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Trading Check Store
Closes.
The Trading Check association of St.
Louis, which has had a branch office in Carthage the last
five months, yesterday closed out the business here. It
has been in charge of Mrs. Mayme Reid on the south side
of the square, where the premiums were given in exchange
for the trading checks, used on various merchants around
town.
May Go To England.
Jas. Luke is planning a trip to his old
home in England, in the near future. He may be
accompanied by Byron Ash. Mesdames Luke and Ash left this
morning for a summer stay at Manitou, Colo.
Earl Young, who was in the bicycle
business here with Harry During seven years ago, has
returned to the city with a wife and looking for a house
to rent.
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Today's Feature Council
Candidates Still Needed.
The last day to file for the
April election of City Council member is January
19. As of yesterday afternoon, only three
candidates for the Council had filed. Mike Harris
has filed as a candidate for mayor.
The First Ward has yet to have
a candidate. Current Council member Claud Newport
has yet to file for another term.
Second Ward current Council
member T.J. Teed has filed. This year the Second
Ward also has a one year replacement term open
due to a resignation last summer. Mike Harris has
filled the seat since then, but has chosen to run
for mayor, thus leaving the seat open.
Third Ward has Debbra Carter
filed as a candidate and current Council member
John Studebaker has yet to file for re-election.
Fourth Ward Council member
Larry Ross has indicated that he will not seek
another term and no other candidate has filed.
Current Council member Brent
Greninger has filed as a candidate for the Fifth
Ward.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
‘Course this is the
time a year ya start seein’ the
"best of" the year stuff in all the
media. Best football play, best photo, best
beast, all that stuff.
Now I don’t mind
reminiscin’ some, it’s good ta have
some good memories of the past year. I’m
of a mind to think, however, it more because
it’s a slow time a year for any news to
be brought forward. That and the fact that we
reminisce ever’ day with the 1909
column. Hunderd years ago stuff, now
that’s talkin’ a good look at where
we come from in these parts.
I’m guessin’
there will be plenty of information published
without us puttin’ our two-cents in.
We’ll leave it up to our readers to
determine what memories they’d like to
remember, and those that they’d just as
soon forget.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Do you have
drawers that stick? If they’re made of wood,
just grab a candle and rub the side over the tops
of both rails. The wax provides just the right
amount of lubrication to keep those drawers
sliding in and out without a fight!
• "To
cover the blades of our kids’ ice skates
when we transport them in the car, my husband cut
a section of garden hose that is a little longer
than the blade. Then he slit it down the side. We
just slip one on each skate, and it protects the
blade, as well as anything the blade might run
into in the trunk." -- I.L. in Minnesota
• S.L. in
Illinois writes: "Here is my tip. When
closing a plastic bag, use a clip-type wooden
clothespin with a metal frame. It holds much
better than a twisty, and takes less time and
effort to use."
• To get rid
of mascara on clothing, try this trick: Use the
dull side of a knife to flake any dried bits
away. Moisten stained area and rub it with a bar
of soap. Rub the area between your fingers and
rinse. Repeat until stain is gone.
• "To
remove soot stains from a glass fireplace door, I
have found that the best tool is a straight-edge
razor. I scrape it to get the gunk off, then
clean with equal parts vinegar and water. Use
newspaper or a lint-free cloth to buff dry."
• "I was
making a repair to a knickknack the other day,
and after it was glued, I needed someplace to put
it to let the glue dry. The repair was near the
bottom, so I couldn’t lay it down on its
side without it rolling. My sister suggested
using a container of decorative sand I had
nearby, and it worked beautifully." -- D.S.
in South Carolina
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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