| today's
laugh A man stumbles
up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the
reply.
The first man then asks: "Where
are you from?" "I’m from Ireland,"
replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You
don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s
have another round to Ireland.""Of
Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first
man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can’t believe it," says the first man.
"I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another
drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the
second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man
asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint
Mary’s," replies the second man. "I
graduated in ‘62." "This is
unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to
Saint Mary’s and I graduated in ‘62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the
regulars and sits down at the bar. "What’s been
going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the
bartender. "The O’Malley twins are drunk
again."
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Collision in the
Dark.
Karl Burke, son of J.M. Burke, while
riding horseback, collided with a horse and buggy in
which Scot Rodeman, of Kendricktown, was driving to town.
The accident happened between seven and eight
o’clock Saturday night about a hundred yards south
of the water works pumping station. The night was very
dark and the horsemen did not see one another. One shaft
of the buggy was broken and one wheel injured. The buggy
was nearly tipped over by the plunging of the horse
hitched to it, and Mr. Rodeman and a boy who was riding
with him were both thrown out.
They were not much hurt but both got
very muddy. The horse kept on plunging until it pulled
through the harness and ran up the street loose, but was
caught and taken home. Young Burke was thrown off the
horse he was riding, but aside from a big bump on his
head, showed no effects of the catastrophy.
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Today's Feature YMCA Youth
Programs Underway.
Sign-up for the Fair Acres
Family YMCA’s Youth Basketball &
Cheerleading programs is underway now at the Y
located at 2600 Grand Avenue in Carthage.
Basketball is open all boys and
girls ages 4-8th grade. Cheerleading is open to
girls or boys in Pre-K thru 8th grade.
Cost to register for YMCA Youth
Basketball or Cheerleading is $23 for Y-Members
and $40 for Non-Members with a $10 late-fee
taking effect after January 6th.
The Y will host a Coaches
Clinic and participant evaluation for Basketball.
Practices will start the week of January 18th and
games begin January 31st. Games take place on
Saturdays with practice during the week.
YMCA Program Director, Jonathan
Roberts, said, "Volunteers are critical to
our youth sports program. We encourage parents to
get involved as coaches, assistant coaches,
timekeepers, scorekeepers, officials and in other
capacities that render support to their children.
Please let us know of your willingness to help at
the time you register your child." Roberts
also noted the uniqueness of the Y Sports,
"every child plays in our programs. There
are no tryouts, no cuts, and every child
participates regardless of size or skill level.
We don’t remove competition from sports; we
just try to keep it in proper perspective.
Winning is important, but so is having a good
time, participating, learning new skills, forming
life-long friendships, and learning to respect
coaches, officials, teammates, and
opponents."
For more information about YMCA
Youth Basketball contact Jonathan Roberts at the
Fair Acres Family YMCA at 417-358-2070.
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
There always seems ta be an
exception to the rule.
Most children spend most a
there wakin’ hours tryin’ to figure
out such loop holes. This typically takes the
form of bein’ very specific in the
interpretation of the rule.
"Don’t throw peas
at your brother" is way too specific. To
an inventive youngster this would still leave
the option of carrot or green bean
throwin’ available. And of course the
completely different activity of
droppin’ or squirtin’ various
vegetables would also be outside the limits
specified.
The fact is that most kids
are very observant learners. The parents most
likely used this "exception" rule
to their advantage from time to time. This
culminates in the ultimate "do as I say,
not as I do" exception.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Quick Concrete
Fixes
Q: My concrete driveway runs
right up next to the house. I noticed yesterday a
crack running from where the driveway meets the
corner of the house. How can I fix this? I’m
worried that water will seep through the crack
into the basement. -- Carl in Trenton, N.J.
A: If the crack is not very
wide -- less than 1/8 inch -- and you don’t
see any water seeping into the basement from that
corner, patch the crack with concrete caulk or a
concrete patching compound on a dry day.
A wider crack can be
temporarily patched by brushing out debris, then
filling the crack with sand and covering with
waterproof tape. This will stop water seepage for
a few days, at least, until you can make the time
to permanently patch the driveway.
On a dry day, uncover and brush
the sand out of the crack. Using a small chisel
and hammer, smooth the inside walls of the crack
and angle them slightly so that the crack is
slightly wider at the bottom than at the top. Mix
up a batch of concrete -- just enough to fill the
crack, plus a little extra. Spray a little water
from a handheld spray bottle into the crack, then
use a trowel to smooth the concrete into the
crack. Pack the concrete in firmly until it
mounds over the surface; then smooth it even.
Allow the patch to air-dry for
a couple of hours. Then, cover the patched
surface with plastic sheeting to prevent any
moisture from getting in. The patch must cure for
about five days.
HOME TIP: When purchasing
concrete, buy only what you need for the job, as
it doesn’t store well and is very
susceptible to moisture.
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