The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, February 11, 2009, Volume XVII, Number 165

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Stone’s Throw Theatre presents the comedy "Opal’s Baby". Performances are February 5, 6, 7, 13, 14, and 15th. Reservations are required.

Did Ya Know?... The Tri-Statesmen Barbershop Quartets will be singing Valentines on Friday and Saturday February 13th and 14th. The cost is $25.00 with a portion of the proceeds donated to Childrens Miracle Network. Call 358-5680 or 417-232-4337 for more information.

Did Ya Know?... artCentral presents Jim Bilgere in his show titled, "THE MAGIC OF SERENDIPITY". The artists reception will be held Friday, February 13th @ 6:00 pm at the Hyde House Gallery, 1110 E. 13th Street, Carthage. The show will run thru March 1st.

today's laugh

• "I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

• "I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

• "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

• "This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Caused C. L. Clark, a Railway Mail Clerk, to Electrify West Mound St.

C. L. Clark, a railway mail clerk, created consternation in the region of his home on Mound street, near the Benton school, Saturday afternoon by running up and down the street and around among the houses clad only in his night shirt.

Clark runs from Kansas City to Joplin on the Pacific and lives at 414 West Mound street with his wife and four children. He came home Saturday morning worn out with over work and after dinner went to bed. About 4 o’clock he rushed downstairs and told his wife he had taken an overdose of cocaine. He had taken the drug to counteract the exhaustion of overwork. He is a graduate of homeopathic school of medicine but he over-estimated the amount of the drug he could stand.

When he came down stairs he was wrapped in a blanket. When the drug began to take effect he began to run about and dashed out into the street. In his wild flight he shed everything but his shirt and continued to tear around in his negligee costume until the police and physician arrived.

Mrs. Clark sent up town for Marshal Stafford and he responded quickly with Ed Belknap. In a short time Officer Dan Bruffett and Dr. V. L. Chester, who had also been sent for arrived. It took the united efforts of the four powerful men to throw Clark on a lounge, handcuff him and shackle his legs, and in the melee he bit Marshal Stafford’s arm but not seriously. He seemed to think he would die if he stopped running and so fought like a tiger for liberty. He knew what he was doing but said he could not help it.

Dr. Chester said today that Clark is still quite ill, but is in no danger and will be able to go to work in a few days.


Today's Feature

Courthouse Heist Thwarted.

After hearing rumors of someone trying to "lift" the Courthouse yesterday morning, the Mornin’ Mail was assured by County Commissioner Jim Honey that the "Hall of Justice" was not being moved to another location. Workers were merely preparing to do some roofing repairs.

Workers unloaded shingles on the the roof of the Courthouse yesterday morning.


Just Jake Talkin'


Ever’ now and then I get the urge ta go campin.’ It usually passes fairly quickly, but ever’ couple a years it seems ta be a good idea. It is always amazin’ to see a campsite develop outa some wooded area into a comfortable setting. After the initial choosin’ of the site, the two most critical placement decisions are the campfire and the latrine (or more likely nowadays, the portapotty). From there the "camp" pretty much is a matter of preference.

‘Course a large portion of time is spent around the campfire, mainly preparin’ and cookin’ meals. The activity also allows a good excuse for a nice nap afterward before ya start gatherin’ firewood for the next meal. Campin’ can be really relaxin’, as long as ya don’t forget ta pack the air mattress and the toilet paper.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin.’

Sponsored by Carthage Printing Services

Here’s A Tip

By JoAnn Derson

• "I had bought some really beautiful wallpaper for my dining room. I had some left over, so I used it to line the drawers of my buffet. It looks like it was a custom job." -- B.P. in Tennessee

• "I guess I’m pretty sensitive to whatever it is in onions that makes you cry. Here are two tricks that work for me whenever I have to chop onions. First, try putting your onion in the freezer for about 15 minutes before you chop. Also, do it on the stove area with the fan going, or use a small fan blowing the onion fumes away from you. Hope this helps other crying chefs." -- A.D. in Missouri

• "Give mini blinds a quick washing in the tub. I take mine down, throw them in a filled tub with a little powdered laundry detergent and give them a shake. A quick wipe with a washcloth usually takes care of anything stuck on, then they get hung over the shower rod. About 10 minutes of drip time gets them to a point where they can be hung back up in the window, and there they dry all the way very quickly, especially if I do it on a sunny day." -- U.L. in Washington

• "I love to work on embroidery, but it’s very annoying to have a thread that keeps knotting up. If you are frustrated by knotting embroidery thread, run a sheet of fabric softener over the thread. It can be a used sheet if necessary, but I find that a fresh one works best. The fabric softener keeps the thread slick, and it knots way less." -- T.F. in Georgia

• Go Green Tip: For shorter trips, consider taking a train. Trains use less fuel and release less carbon emissions than airplanes. And some trips can be surprisingly cheap. Check out Amtrak’s routes and prices at

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