The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, February 18, 2009, Volume XVII, Number 170

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... The Chamber will hold it’s 5th Annual TRIVIA NIGHT February 20th. Teams of eight members or less will compete for cash prizes. Put your team together today! For more information, call Linda @ 358-2372.

Did Ya Know?... Class of 2009 Project Graduation will sponsor Hypnotist Mike Reeves, February 21st at 6:00 p.m., at the High School Auditorium. Tickets are $7.00 at the door, three and under are free.

today's laugh

Crazy Missouri Laws

Excelsior Springs:

• Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.

• Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.

Kansas City:

• Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.

• Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, but they may buy shotguns.


• It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.


• Dancing is strictly prohibited.

St. Louis:

• It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Twenty Ounces of Nails, Scrap Iron and Rocks

Killed a Carthage Cow.

Kansas City was all excited sometime since over the exploits of a human ostrich, whose habit of swallowing barlow knives caused his death there, but now Carthage has a cow which shows up as great a performer in that line as the human ostrich. Like the ostrich, she is dead, having departed this life yesterday.

She was the property of Mrs. Robinson, a widow who lives on Clinton street, and was a valuable milch cow until she fell into the rock and nail eating habit. That killed her.

When she was dead, T. B. Metcalf, a veterinary surgeon of 28 years’ practice, performed an autopsy to see what killed her. When the animal’s stomach was removed the cause of her death was clear. It contained a mixed assortment of old junk, which weighed just a pound and a quarter.

An inventory reveals that fact that there is in the collection nine rocks ranging in size from that of a hickory nut to an egg, only of irregular shape; fifteen pebbles of all sizes; nineteen nails, also of all sizes and all degrees of crookedness, most of them wire; an iron washer as big as a dollar; a piece of colored glass about the same size; two pieces of scrap iron; a 2-inch screw and a copper rivet.

Mr. Metcalf says in all his experience he never saw anything to equal it. He accounts for the nails, scrap iron, etc., by the theory that the cow ate them with bran, but where she got the rocks is a poser, and he does not attempt to answer it.


Today's Feature

The Public Smoking Debate.

While some city, county and state legislators may be revisiting the possibility of new smoking bans in Missouri, smokers and non-smokers alike have been voicing their opposition to forced smoking bans, especially in places where children are not allowed or adults have an option to go elsewhere, according to the International Premium Cigar and Pipe Retailers Association.

"The marketplace is deciding what businesses should allow smoking or not, and that’s the way it should be. Government shouldn’t be taking away the rights of business owners to run their enterprises as the market dictates, not big government" said Chris McCalla, legislative director of the IPCPR.

McCalla cited the Federal Reserve Bank and the Bureau of Labor Statistics regarding the proven negative effects on businesses from legislated smoking bans.

"The Fed has found that, based on impartial data generated by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, significant employment declines result from forced smoking bans, especially in bars and restaurants," he said.

Just Jake Talkin'


With all the advances in communication devices that have been made in the last several years, I am amazed that it is still nearly impossible to understand the person takin’ an order at a fast food drive-up. Sometimes I think they put in some sort of voice scramblin’ device so as to make ya accept what ever they have on hand at the time.

I also have a particular pet peeve with drive-up speaker orderin’. Ya turn in your order, but when ya get to the window, after you’ve paid of course, you’re notified that they just ran out of that one thing ya stopped there for in the first place. It just ruins that high quality dinin’ experience that we’ve all come to expect from fast food restaurants.

And no, I don’t want whatever the special of the minute is, thank you. I couldn’t understand what it was anyway.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing Services

Here’s A Tip

By JoAnn Derson

• To shine tarnished silver, line a sink with a sheet of aluminum foil, shiny side up. Fill the sink with very hot water (boiling is good) to which you have added a cup of baking soda. Then submerge silver pieces entirely. Each piece must touch the foil. The tarnish will "jump" to the foil and off of your silver.

• "This is a great way to clean bath toys. Get a delicates bag (a zippable mesh laundry bag) and fill it with your small bath toys. Toss it into the dishwasher on the top shelf. Gets them clean in a flash, and you can just hang the bag up in the bathroom to dry." -- A.C. in South Carolina

• Trying to avoid germs this cold season? Right this minute, get up and clean three things with alcohol on a clean paper towel or other alcohol-based cleaner: your TV remote, telephone and doorknobs. Do it every week, or more often if someone in your house is sick.

• "I picked up a bunch of old kitchen utensils, like tongs and spatulas and such, at a thrift store for a song. I use them in my workshop. The spatula makes a great scraper, and the tongs are terrific for dipping rags in stain." -- R.F. in Maryland

• Go Green Tip: Gas prices may have dropped from last summer’s highs, but it still pays to get the best fuel economy you can. The next time you fill up, reset your trip odometer. Drive normally for several days then fill your tank. Divide the number of gallons it takes to top off the tank into the number of miles you have traveled. That’s how many miles you get per gallon, no matter what your vehicle’s manufacturer says it gets.

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