| today's
laugh There are
no dogs allowed here
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He
goes up to the bartender and asks for a drink. The
bartender says "You can’t bring that dog in
here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says
"This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man,
" the bartender says, "I’m sorry, here,
the first one’s on me."
Another guy walks in with a Chihuahua.
The first guys sees him and says "You can’t
bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a
seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks
the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a
drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can’t bring
that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my
seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I
don’t think so. They do not have Chiwauas as
seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second
and replies "What?!?! They gave me a
Chihuahua?!?"
1908
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
Boy Preferred
"Hoeing His Own Row" to Hoeing Weeds.
A 10-year old boy named Clark ran away
from the farm of Owen Weeks, northwest of town yesterday
afternoon, and Mr. Weeks was in town today looking for
him.
He had put the boy at work hoeing weeds
and at supper time he had proved to have jumped his job,
taking $1.35 from a purse containing $8 of Mr. Weeks
money.
Investigation shows that he spent the
stormy night at the home of Billy McDaniels, a stone
cutter, in town, and this morning asked Officer Drake the
way to Joplin. He took the next car for the mining
metropolis, and Mr. Weeks decided not to follow him. He
evidently prefers hoeing his own row to hoeing someone
else’s weeds.
The lad, an orphan, was brought here
from Duenweg by Mr. Weeks, who undertook to raise him.
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Today's Feature
Parking Vote Set for Tonight.
The City Council is
scheduled to meet for its regular meeting
this evening in City Hall at 7:30.
The agenda includes the
second reading and scheduled vote on two
parking ordinances that have been debated
for the last several months in the Public
Safety Committee.
Council bill 09-46
would change the boundaries of the two
hour parking zone and eliminate the
parking restrictions in the downtown area
except for the Square and for one block
off the square on the eight streets
leading to the Square. The bill has a 60
day limitation and would need to be
introduced again to gain permanent
status.
Council bill 9-47 would
also be set up on a 60 day trial period
and would allow the City to sell parking
passes for $30 per month to residents of
the Square. The pass would allow parking
on the side streets leading to the Square
but not on the Square proper.
The Council recently
defeated another bill proposed by the
Public Safety Committee that would have
raised the parking fine to $15 from the
current $1.
Are
We There Yet?
by Amanda Michel,
ProPublica www.propublica.com
Some $1 billion in
stimulus money for airports is all
"out the door," Transportation
Secretary Ray LaHood says in an interview
with USA Today. The newspaper, looking at
the impact the money will have on
airports’ day-to-day operations,
says LaHood "acknowledged that
‘there are a lot more needs in
aviation’ than the stimulus provided
money for, and that spending for airports
hasn’t kept up with needs.
‘We’re making up for lost
time,’ he says."
The stimulus cost just
went up. Someone recently spray-painted
"$5 million Obama pork" on an
American Recovery and Reinvestment Act
sign at the Indianapolis Executive
Airport in Zionsville, Ind. These signs,
which the Associated Press estimates cost
roughly $500 to $1,200 apiece to design,
make and install, are become a punching
bag for critics of the stimulus.
In a Sunday op-ed
placed in the Washington Post, President
Barack Obama wrote: "The American
Recovery and Reinvestment Act was not
expected to restore the economy to full
health on its own but to provide the
boost necessary to stop the free fall. So
far, it has done that. It was, from the
start, a two-year program, and it will
steadily save and create jobs as it ramps
up over this summer and fall. We must let
it work the way it’s supposed to,
with the understanding that in any
recession, unemployment tends to recover
more slowly than other measures of
economic activity." In sum the
president asked Americans to be patient,
and to wait for the stimulus to take full
effect before losing confidence in the
administration. In an interview with CNN
aired on Sunday, Treasury Secretary
Timothy Geithner said the stimulus would
have its greatest impact in the next six
months. Obama’s op-ed followed a
Wall Street Journal story Saturday
reporting that "the White House has
been pressuring agencies to get some
money out the door more quickly." To
date, the administration has spent 12
percent of stimulus money. Ed DeSeve, a
senior White House adviser, is quoted in
the article as saying the administration
has been on a "learning curve"
with respect to the stimulus.
Republicans, the AP
reports, "lined up Sunday in
opposition to a second stimulus package,
a rare demonstration of unity from an
out-of-power political party in search of
a rallying cry against President Barack
Obama."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',I’m sure ever’one like to
think that "civilized" folks don’t
get down and dirty from time to time. There are
prob’ly those who feel it would be a better
world if ever’one could sit down at the
diner table and calmly discuss various opinions
and give all arguments equal weight.
The fact is, unless someone
gets a little fire in their belly now and then,
nothin’ much gets accomplished. It is one
thing to keep some rational basis for a passion,
but to ask folks with a passion to not call on
that emotion to promote their case seems a little
unrealistic.
The response of political
candidates under pressure often offers insight
into their character and composure. Like it or
not, some jungle instincts are still a valuable
part of our nature.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Weekly Columns To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Here’s a
Solution for Swimmer’s Ear
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: You mentioned
a solution to prevent swimmer’s ear. How do
you apply it? -- J.R.
ANSWER: The mixture is made
with equal parts white vinegar and rubbing
alcohol. The alcohol keeps the ear dry. The
vinegar prevents proliferation of harmful
bacteria. One or two drops are instilled in the
ear with a dropper and allowed to stay in place
for half a minute to a minute. The head is then
tilted toward the shoulder to empty the ear
canal.
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have been
diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Three
months after the diagnosis, I began to become
fatigued after slight exertion, and was short of
breath. I’ve had to have a pacemaker
implanted. I was told I probably have
amyloidosis, the senile form. Is there any hope
of my living a near-normal life? -- L.M.
ANSWER: Amyloid is a protein
produced by bone marrow cells. It can infiltrate
a number of body organs. Many forms (20) of
amyloidosis exist, and they all have distinctive
longevity projections. Senile amyloidosis does
not affect as many organs as do the other forms
of this illness, so that is one thing in your
favor. In this illness, when the amount of
amyloid in the heart is great, the heart’s
pumping action falters, and congestive heart
failure is a consequence. Amyloid deposits often
interfere with the generation and transmission of
the electric signals that regulate heartbeats, so
a pacemaker can be needed.
I can’t give you a
prediction about the length of life. Of course,
your life span is bound to be affected, but how
greatly, no one can tell with certainty.
VETERAN’S
POST
By
Freddy Groves
Study
Inconclusive on Camp Lejune Water
A study released by the
National Research Council concluded there just
wasn’t enough data to determine whether
those living at Camp Lejeune were harmed by
chemicals in the drinking water. Although the
water was laced with industrial solvents that
leaked from a nearby dry cleaner from the 1950s
to 1985 and contaminated the water supply at
multiple base housing sites where it was used by
a million people for cooking, drinking and
bathing, the NRC apparently couldn’t decide.
The report goes on to say that
any further study is "unlikely to determine
conclusively whether Camp Lejeune residents were
adversely affected by exposure to water
contaminants" and that even if the Agency
for Toxic Substances and Diseases Registry goes
ahead with its planned research, "the
outcome of the efforts is unlikely to determine
conclusively whether Camp Lejeune residents were
adversely affected by exposure to water
contaminants."
As in, don’t bother? As
in, just take the NRC’s word for it and stop
looking?
Not everyone is playing along,
however.
Senator Kay Hagen, a newly
elected senator from North Carolina, is hot under
the collar about this. Specifically, she says on
her Web site that the NRC report was just a
rehash of prior studies, and it left out research
that concluded that there is a link between VOCs
(volatile organic compounds) and childhood
leukemia and other adverse health issues. The
report, she says, doesn’t even mention
Benzene or vinyl chloride (found in the Camp
Lejeune water), nor the links between those and
adverse health.
In April the director of the
Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry
said it couldn’t stand behind a 1997 report
that minimized the risks of cancers from all
those chemicals because the report wasn’t
accurate. The report was yanked from its Web
site.
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Copyright 1997-2009 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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