| today's
laugh Never talk
to the parrot
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman
because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t
accommodate her with an "after-hours"
appointment and since she had to go to work, she told
him, "I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the
dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll
mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler
inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also
have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the
bird!"
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer,
totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was
there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about
drove him nuts.
As he was ready to leave, he
couldn’t resist saying, "You stupid bird, why
don’t you shut up!"
To which the bird replied,
"Killer, get him!!!"
1908
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
WOOLEN MILL RUNNING.
Starts Up This Week
to Fill Some Pressing Orders.
The Carthage woolen mill started up
this morning to work up some necessary colors to fill out
pressing orders that have crowded in on the company since
the shut down two weeks ago. Half the force is working
and will be employed all the rest of this week. Thirty
looms and other machinery in proportion are in operation.
At the same time the necessary
repairing is being as quickly done as possibly, and next
Monday an insurance boiler inspector will be here to
inspect the mill boilers. By the first of September Supt.
Baker expects to have all repairing done and be ready to
start the mill going on the usual full time for the
winter.
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Today's Feature
Attorney General Koster
before US Senate.
Jefferson City --
Attorney General Chris Koster will
testify before the U.S. Senate Commerce
Committee Tuesday, July 14, on the
increase in mortgage-rescue and
debt-settlement fraud Missouri is
experiencing during the downward economic
times.
Koster told committee
members that his office is seeing sharp
increases in consumer complaints related
to both mortgage-rescue and
debt-settlement businesses. In 2007 and
2008 combined, the Attorney
General’s office received a total of
25 complaints about mortgage-rescue
companies. In just the first half of the
year in 2009, his office has already had
84 complaints. His office already has
received 105 complaints against
debt-settlement companies so far in 2009,
compared to 78 complaints in all of 2007
and 109 in 2008.
"Foreclosure
Consultants and Debt Settlement Firms
claim to consumers they can cut principal
in half, reduce monthly payments by
hundreds of dollars, or eliminate debt
altogether," Koster told the
committee. "The fact is that these
companies are offering a service that the
consumer could do for himself, or that
non-profit credit counselors will perform
for free or a modest fee."
Koster highlighted that
many of these companies require up-front
fees from consumers, which is illegal in
Missouri. He noted that these fees can be
hundreds or thousands of dollars, and can
leave consumers in substantially worse
financial shape than before. He also
pointed out that these companies’
strategies typically rely on the consumer
stopping all payments to and
communications with creditors, which
leads to long-term damage to the
consumer’s credit rating and
hundreds or even thousands of dollars in
additional fees.
Koster has made a
"zero tolerance" commitment to
fighting businesses that defraud
consumers seeking help with foreclosures
or debt. The Attorney General has filed
lawsuits against seven companies offering
mortgage refinancing, foreclosure relief
or debt-settlement since April 6, with
more than a dozen additional official
investigations currently underway.
During the hearing,
Koster encouraged committee members to
consider additional enforcement measures
at the federal level to discourage
businesses from attempting to use
fraudulent tactics and advertising, and
to give all states stronger powers in
shutting down their scams.
Koster is the only
Attorney General testifying at the
hearing.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',A farmer I used ta work for while I was
in high school always told me that if ya see
turtles on the road it means it’s gonna
rain. Said they could sense the comin’
weather and headed for higher ground. I never was
convinced, but I always try to remember when I
see the creatures ploddin’ on the roadways.
I always look in the rearview
mirror when I pass over turtles with the car.
Some pull their head in and just wait, others
just keep wigglin’ along like nothin’
happened. I can’t imagine what a turtle must
be thinkin’ when a vehicle whizzes over
‘em. Maybe they figure it was one a those
quick thunder storms movin’ through, or a
giant crash of thunder. You’d think the hot
pavement would stick to their little feet as long
as they take ta get on the other side. Maybe
they’re just hopin’ for rain.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Weekly Columns HERE’S A TIP
By JoAnn Derson
• Go Green Tip: Building a
sand castle? Look no further than your recycle
bin for sand tools. Gather plastic containers in
many sizes. You can cut or trim plastic bottles
to make great scoops and even use a hole punch to
make a sieve. Or open both ends of a clean metal
coffee can, cover one side tightly with plastic
wrap and secure with tape. Stick it plastic side
down in the water, and you’ve made a pretty
nice little sea scope to see the fishes swim. You
can still recycle it when you get home.
• Vegetable oil can be
used to remove sticky price-tag residue from
glass or other hard, nonporous surfaces. Dab on,
let sit and rub off with a soft cloth.
• Get a glossy shine on
sun- or pool-damaged hair with this old-school
trick. Coat strands with a cup of mayonnaise,
focusing on the ends. Leave on for 15-30 minutes
and rinse out. This works especially well after a
weekend at the beach or lake.
• "When going on
vacation, store important documents in a
freezer-safe bag in the freezer. If there is a
fire, the papers will likely be safe." --
T.C. in Utah (A Note from JoAnn: I wouldn’t
store original documents this way, just in case
of water damage. You could invest in a small fire
safe for really special papers.)
• Use a turkey baster to
suck up spilled egg. You also can sprinkle it
with salt to set it, and pick it up with a paper
towel.
• "This tip is an
oldie but a goodie. Schedule annual checkups on
or near your birthday. You’ll never forget
when it’s time to visit the doctor." --
B.J. in Pennsylvania
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