A man enters a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the
problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says
the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby
drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and
The client places the ball in his mouth
and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man
has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks
in garbled speech.
"And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the
barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone
Do you have a solution?
A patient came to his dentist with
problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth,
what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Notice of Special
To the qualified voters of the city of
Carthage: Whereas the city council of Carthage, Missouri,
by ordinance number 464, passed and approved, and
entitled "An ordinance providing for a contract with
the Carthage Light Company to light the city, furnish
lights to consumers and submitting such contract to the
voters of the city for ratification at a special
election," ordered a special election to be held in
each ward of the city of Carthage, Jasper County,
Missouri, for the purpose of submitting to the qualified
voters of this city of Carthage
Its for ratification and approval
the contract set out in said ordinance and also
authorizing the levy by the proper officers of the said
city of a tax, not exceeding twenty cents on the one
hundred dollars assessed valuation on all property of the
city for a period of four years, for the purpose of
raising a fund with which to meet the payments for in
10th Annual GOBMC
& Cycle Blowout.
The Greater Ozarks
British Motoring Club will meet for the
tenth year in Carthage this weekend for
there annual British Car and Cycle show.
The event officially opens Friday evening
for registration and according to show
co-Chair Rhonda Thorn a block of 65 rooms
reserved for the participants has already
Rhonda and her husband
David have organized the show since its
origination in 1999. Rhonda says they
have 70 vehicles registered and are
expecting more than a dozen more before
Saturdays show on the Historic
Carthage Square. Vehicles will be on the
Square from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. A porker
run will be featured this year for the
participants that will begin following
An awards banquet will
being at 7 p.m. at Memorial Hall and
Sunday morning the group will gather for
a "Breakfast Drive-Away."
from as far away as Nebraska have
indicated this one of the best shows in
information on their web site)
Ozarks British Motoring Club was formed
by a group of British car and cycle
enthusiasts who shared a common problem;
they all belonged to clubs 200 miles
away. We knew there had to be others like
us in the local area, and over the years
a few of us accidentally met at car shows
or just noticing another British motor
vehicle in the area.
"We had kicked
around the idea of creating a club for
several years (usually while attanding
the Kansas City All British). But, after
the car show wed go home to the
tasks of daily living, mowing the yard,
running the kids, painting the house
attending the Kansas City show Labor Day
weekend of 1999, in somebodys room,
waiting for the pizza delivery guy to
show up, we finally elected officers,
agreed upon the All British format, and
set an "official" first meeting
date before the pizza arrived. A new car
club was born.
attended the first official meeting on
September 25, 1999 in Springfield, MO.
GOBMC has grown to over 100 members and
now includes a wide range of British
cars, cycles, and members from all over
"In spite of
others telling us we couldnt
survive as a car club, much less put on a
car show, we hosted The First Annual
GOBMC All British Car & Cycle Meet in
July of 2000 on the historic square in
Carthage Missouri, before we were even a
year old. It has become one of the best
and largest All British events in the
state, and many of our attendees say that
ours is the premier show on their car
show calendar year after year... a
"must attend" event.
I suppose it took more than a little
convincin ta get folks ta give up on the
horse and buggy. More than anything it was
probly the idea of bein comfortable
with a known mode of gettin from here to
entirely the blessin that proponents of
that industry would have liked everone to
believe, but they did offer a lot of advantages.
The one thing that changed the
most was the amount of time spent just
walkin. Nowadays, a visit to a neighbor on
the other side of the block warrants takin
Course one of the big
advantages of car ownin is ya dont
have ta clean out the stall. Another is if ya
leave the car in the garage, you dont have
ta keep puttin in fuel just so ya have
somethin ta clean up later. And the flies
arent near as plentiful.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin
|Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply
Sponsored by Curry Automotive
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
Is there any merit to the claim
that nitrogen in gasoline has any benefit for
cleaning the engine? Whats the chemistry
behind it? Or is this just the latest
gasoline-additive scam? - David
RAY: Youre asking about
Shell Oil Companys latest campaign, David,
in which it claims that its gasoline is
"nitrogen enhanced." And like most of
the "enhancement" offers that come via
e-mail these days, David, this claim probably
should be ignored.
TOM: Shell claims that its new
nitrogen-enhanced gasoline keeps your engine
RAY: Heres the story.
Every gasoline is required to use a certain
minimum amount of deposit-control additive -
which does help keep deposits from forming on
your valves and other engine components. All of
these additives contain small amounts of
TOM: But nitrogen is only one
of several ingredients in these cleaning
additives. So my guess is, Shell has increased
the amount of cleaning additive in its gasoline,
which has "enhanced" the nitrogen
RAY: And more cleaning additive
is good. I mean, why not? Its such a small
amount of nitrogen, compared with the volume of
gasoline, that it doesnt affect the amount
of nitrous oxides that come out of the tailpipe.
And if your engine runs cleaner, thats all
TOM: But by claiming its
gasoline is enhanced, all we know is Shell is
using more now than it was before.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
The Time Is Now
for Earnhardt Jr.
Nine races may seem like an
eternity for some, but time is growing short if
Dale Earnhardt Jr., the most popular driver in
NASCAR, is to make the Chase for the Sprint Cup.
With the aforementioned nine
races remaining in the regular season, Earnhardt
trails 12th-place Juan Montoya by 285 points. He
trails point leader Tony Stewart by 760, but
Stewarts point total (2,524) is almost
irrelevant to Earnhardts situation.
Earnhardt, 34, finished 13th at
New Hampshire Motor Speedway, improving his point
position from 20th to 19th but losing eight
points in the span between him and 12th place.
The crew-chief change at Hendrick Motorsports --
Lance McGrew has replaced Tony Eury Jr. with
Earnhardts No. 88 Chevy -- has thus far
yielded no notable results.
It may take time, but now
its time Earnhardt doesnt have. He
said hes doing the best he can, hoping a
few breaks and improved performance can fuel a
"You show up every week
thinking you can win and hoping you can
win," he said recently.
Earnhardts troubles are a
mystery. He is a two-time champion of what is now
the Nationwide Series. He won two or more races
in each of his first five seasons, winning six in
2004 alone and finishing third in the 2003 point
After winning once in 2005 and
2006 and going winless in 07, Earnhardt
moved from the family team, then known as Dale
Earnhardt Inc., and replaced Kyle Busch at
Hendrick Motorsports in 2008. He won once and
made the Chase but finished last (12th).
Earnhardts fortunes have
sagged noticeably since the advent of generic
cars, which were fully implemented in 2008.
"Were leaning on our
teammates a lot, and if they can run fast with
such-and-such setup, I should be able to make it
work, and I need to learn how to drive it if it
feels different," said Earnhardt.
"Im really open-minded and trying to
adjust whatever I need to adjust to adapt, and it
will work or it wont work, but giving it
your best effort is the best way to go.
"People say oftentimes the
best thing to do is always the hardest thing to
do. Were just putting our foot down and
trying to work hard."
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Publishing. All rights reserved.