| today's
laugh A famous
admiral and an equally famous general were fishing
together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down
both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the
water.
The admiral floundered his way back to
the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished
out the general, using an oar.
Catching his breath, he puffed:
"Please don’t say a word about this to anyone.
If the Navy found I can’t swim I’d be
disgraced.
"Don’t worry," the
general said. "Your secret is safe. I’d hate to
have my men find out I can’t walk on water."
You’re back again?
The Judge said to the defendant.
"I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in
here again."
"Your Honor," the criminal
said, "that’s what I tried to tell the police,
but they wouldn’t listen."
1908
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Mrs. Brayfield Pays
Fine.
A street scimmage between two Carthage
women had its sequel in police court this morning when
Mrs. Fannie Brayfield of 400 Garrison avenue pleaded
guilty to disturbing the peace at the northeast corner of
the public square Thursday night. She was fined $9.50,
including costs, and she promptly wrote a check for the
amount of the fine and went on her way rejoicing.
The charge against Mrs. Brayfield had
been preferred by Mrs. Louis C. Scott of 947 Case street,
who alleged that Mrs. Brayfield slapped her and
"talked loud and challenged her." The trouble
resulted from Mrs. Brayfield charging Mrs. Scott with
talking to the former’s husband.
"Thank you," said Judge James
Deagan as he accepted the check from Mrs.
Brayfield’s hand in settlement of her fine.
"I thank you for being easy with
the fine," said Mrs. Brayfield.
"Well, do not do any thing of that
kind again," admonished the court.
"Oh, I am through - unless that
woman talks some more to my husband - then I’ll slap
her again!" was Mrs. Brayfield’s parting remark
as she passed out of the door of the court room.
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Today's Feature
| Skate
Park Awaits Ramps. A ribbon cutting/grand opening
is scheduled August 7 at 10 a.m. for the
new Carthage Skate Park in Fair Acres
Sports Complex on Fir Road. The slab for
the park has been poured and a chain link
fence installed (see picture on front
page). The installation of various ramps
and equipment is scheduled to begin next
week by the American Ramp Company of
Joplin. The company manufactures the
equipment in Joplin and installs it
around the world.
According to City
Administrator Tom Short the project came
in just under budget and work has
progressed as scheduled. A total of
$50,000 was appropriated by the City
Council for the park.
The park was proposed
by a petition presented to the Council
about four years ago by a group of youth.
Short said he thought there were
approximately 200 signatures on the
petition. Several youth met with the City
to help with initial plans.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',I’ve never been to a toothpick
factory. Now I’ve whittled a few in my day,
but I can imagine they use the same technique as
I do ta fill all those boxes they sell
ever’day.
I suppose the same folks that
make toothpicks branch out into other fields such
as match sticks and maybe even pencils.
In Army C rations they used ta
have a little wood tooth brush of sorts. Ya chew
on it for a while ta make it soft and then used
it ta brush your teeth.
I suppose they still make those
flat toothpicks. I’ve always preferred the
round ones. The main advantage of course
bein’ you’ve got two pickin’ ends.
Twice the picks for the same money. Course I can
see the advantage of the flat ones if you’re
on a boat, they don’t roll off the table.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Weekly Columns HERE’S A TIP
By JoAnn Derson
• "Take a dry cloth
to wipe out the canister that cornstarch comes
in. You can use these canisters for your
child’s crayons, or when there’s a
group of children, everyone can have his or her
own crayons. You also can use these canisters for
erasers, pins, buttons, beads, etc. It’s the
yellow canister with the blue top." -- D. in
Virginia
• "You can easily
muffle the noise of a tabletop sewing machine by
setting it on a scrap of carpet. If you use a
slightly larger piece of carpet, it will give you
a place to put your scissors and other tools
without them sliding around. You can even use a
corner for pins if you glue a little square of
cork on the back of the carpet." -- J.J. in
Florida
• To use every last drop
of toothpaste in the tube, do this: As your tube
dwindles, squeeze from the bottom, then roll up
the excess tube. Secure it with a rubber band,
clip or clothespin.
• "When I last moved,
I used packing peanuts for some items. When I was
taking photo frames down from the walls, I
removed the nail for each item, stuck it into a
packing peanut and taped the peanut to the back
of the frame. At the new location, there was no
searching for nails to rehang the pictures --
they were already at hand." -- M.S. in New
Mexico
• Go Green Tip: Love
animals? Adopt from a shelter instead of buying
from a breeder or puppy mill. And be sure to spay
or neuter your dog or cat. There are thousands of
animals that, through no fault of their own, end
up in shelters. Taking in (and taking care of) a
stray or shelter animal reduces the environmental
impact of uncared-for animals on the streets.
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