The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, June 11, 2009 Volume XVII, Number 250

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Prairie State Parknear Mindenmines is holding its Award Winning "Border Disorder" Program on June 13th beginning at 7:30 PM. The event is sponsored by the Missouri Department of Natural Resources and is free and open to the public. For more information, visit

Did Ya Know?... Jam Session Saturday, doors open @ 4:00 p.m., music starts @ 5:00 p.m. All acoustic instruments welcome! Salem Country Church, Red Oak II, Carthage MO., 417-237-0885.

today's laugh

Talk to the judge

A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, "Counselor, you should be aware that at this point, what you are saying is just going in one ear and out the other."

"Your honor," replied the lawyer, "That goes without saying. What is there to prevent it?"

-Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about two months, and without new thoughts for years on end.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Woman Goes to Jail.

Ephraim Holmes and wife, Lula, were arrested this morning by the city marshal under a warrant sworn out by Assistant Prosecuting Attorney H. T. Harrison, charged with an assault on one Pete Burbank.

It seems that Burbank invaded the premises of the Holmes family near the city pound last night under the influence of liquor and the accused asserts that in self-defense she carved the offender with a butcher knife and pelted him with stones. To all of which she pleaded guilty before Justice Berry, who entered up a fine of one dollar which with the costs amounted to $11. In default of payment she is now in jail where 21 days at the expense of the county will cancel the debt. The innocent husband was acquitted.

Burbank is in bed and no charge has as yet been made against him.

  Today's Feature

Council Kills $15 Parking Fines.

The City Council voted Tuesday evening 6 to 4 against the Council bill that would have raised the parking fines around the Square to fifteen dollars.

Public Safety Committee Chair Bill Welch told the Council that the bill being considered was not the bill the Committee had sent to the Mayor. Welch said that the bill he voted to support in Committee had a 60 trial period and other provisions that were not included in the bill before the Council and therefore he would vote against.

According to the Public Safety Committee meeting on March 16, "committee member Campbell made a motion for a 60 day trial period of two hour parking on the square and 1 block on the 8 streets off the square, in which the parking violation fine would be increased from $1 to $15. Also those who live on the square will be allowed to purchase a placard for a fee of $30, plus the cost of the placard that would allow them to park off square in any of the two hour parking spots without fear of a ticket."

The motion was approved by Chair Bill Welch and members John Studebaker and Wayne Campbell.

Just Jake Talkin'

There oughta be a law.

My annual conflict with the bird population over the rights of property owners vs. migrants foraging for strawberries has begun.

Unfortunately the cost of rounding up and testing the critters for traces of strawberry breath is beyond my capabilities. And even if I could prove which varmit left the half eatin’ berry, they would prob’ly fly the coop ‘fore any significant punishment could be administered.

Looks like I’m gonna have to bring out the pie pans and build me some sort of scare crow. I have little choice but to try and make the deed of strawberry snachin’ as uncomfortable as possible, hopin’ the perpetrators will move to someone else’s patch.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin'

  Weekly Columns



Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Dear Tom and Ray:

I have a 1984 Nissan pickup with only 64,000 miles. It runs great, but the engine is so dirty that I am embarrassed to have it worked on. How should an engine be cleaned? Is steam cleaning appropriate? Thanks. - Roy

RAY: Well, you’re very considerate, Roy. Most people don’t give a second thought to forcing their mechanic to fight through the sludge and dirt and garbage just to get his work done. You can certainly steam-clean your engine. Usually, a really filthy, disgusting engine is a sign of an oil leak or three. When oil leaks out, all kinds of dirt and junk stick to it, and the engine becomes bathed in a thick layer of grime.

TOM: So by steam-cleaning the engine, you not only send a signal to your mechanic that you care about your car (and therefore, so should he), but you also make it easier for him to FIND any leaks. When the engine has been cleaned recently, it’s a lot easier to see where those leaks are coming from.

RAY: So, go to a car wash or autodetailing place that offers steam cleaning. It’s not something you want to do in your driveway, because the stuff you wash off is toxic, and you don’t want it going down the drain and into your local waterways - or creating your neighborhood’s first Superfund site. Find a place that has a grease trap, so they can dispose of runoff properly.

TOM: And bring a good book, just in case some important electrical components get steamed under the high pressure by accident and prevents the care from starting until it dries out. It happens.


Sponsored by Curry Automotive

Stewart Shows His Chops

CONCORD, N.C. -- The inevitable finally happened.

Ever since his rookie season in 1999, the Sprint All-Star Race has seemed ideally suited to the driving style of Tony Stewart. Stewart, the only driver to date who has won championships under both the former system (2002) and the Chase format (2005), finally won Lowe’s Motor Speedway’s all-star event in his 11th try.

"There are a lot of races I still haven’t won," said Stewart, "but it’s a hard race to win. Nobody holds anything back.

Tony Stewart celebrates winning the NASCAR Sprint All-Star Race, his first victory as a team owner. (Getty Images for NASCAR photo)

"This is a special race. You know it’s different. You know it’s going to be more difficult because of that. We always, in the past last 10 years here, were always good on long runs and always good late in the race. This kind of format never fit the package that we had."

Stewart, who turned 38 on May 20, roared to the front in the final segment, passing Matt Kenseth with less than two laps remaining in the fourth and final segment.

This year Stewart became a car owner, acquiring a majority share in what is now Stewart Haas Racing. Eleven races into the season, Stewart is second in the Sprint Cup standings, but he hasn’t won an official race yet. The Sprint All-Star Race isn’t a "points" race.

He became only the second driver-owner to win the All-Star Race. The first was Geoff Bodine in 1994.

For 10 years, Stewart competed for Joe Gibbs Racing, where he has been succeeded by rookie Joey Logano. This year Stewart hired Ryan Newman as his teammate. After a slow start, Newman has risen to eighth place in the point standings.

For all those years at JGR, Stewart had one crew chief, Greg Zipadelli, now paired with Logano. Darian Grubb, formerly at Hendrick Motorsports, now leads Stewart’s team.

"They’ll basically have that monkey off their back," said Grubb of the team after Stewart’s victory. "We don’t want to lose the monkey. We want him to hang out with us."

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