The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, June 25, 2009 Volume XVIII, Number 5

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital is having their Annual Golf Tounrnament on June 26th at the Carthage Municipal Golf Course. Check-in begins at 11:00 AM. For more information, contact Shala Rogler or Beth Simmons at 359-2657.

Did Ya Know?... Jam Session Saturday, doors open @ 4:00 p.m., music starts @ 5:00 p.m. All acoustic instruments welcome! Salem Country Church, Red Oak II, Carthage MO., 417-237-0885.

today's laugh

Where does he work?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She’s a doctor."

"That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?"

Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced,

"Nothing. He’s an economist."

-Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Prof. Calhoun At Home.

Arrives from Germany After an Absense of Ten Months.

Prof. W.L. Calhoun, whose interesting letters have appeared frequently in the Press, arrived this morning from his ten month stay in Germany. He is looking hale and natural, and his studies have evidently agreed with him. He will resume teaching at once.

Prof. Calhoun left Bremen on May 24 and sailed for New York via South Hampton on board the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse, which made a new record for itslef and for the trip across. The time was a little over six days from Bremen, and an average speed of over 22 knots was maintained. He stopped in New York a few days to visit Herbert Kellogg and ran up the Hudson river to see T.J. Clelland, formerly a teacher in the Carthage Collegiate Institute.

  Today's Feature

Citizens Participate.

The Citizens Participation portion of Tuesday’s regular City Council meeting once again centered on the various proposals to changes in the two-hour parking area of the downtown area.

Several spoke in favor of issuing parking permits to residents living on the Square, but thought the proposed $30 per month charge to be excessive.

The other proposed ordinance that would shrink the area restricted to two-hour parking to the Square and one block off the streets leading to the square was opposed by citizen and business owner H.J. Johnson. He also opposed the issuance of parking passes. He said that in his particular circumstances, both modifications would threaten the two parking spaces available to his business on Lyon Street.

Mayor Woestman also noted that the smaller two-hour area would eliminate the restriction around the post office.

The Council is scheduled to vote on the two Council bills at its July 14 regular meeting. The Council meets on the second and fourth Tuesday of every month at 7:30 p.m. in City Hall.

Just Jake Talkin'

Two can live as cheaply as one, the old sayin’ goes, as long as one doesn’t eat.

I see on several fronts that there is somewhat of a movement afloat for folks to not be afflicted by what they are callin’ "affluenza."

One article I happened upon made note of the difference in lifestyle that makes the two income family a necessity. The comparison was the average house of the fifty’s. Around 1,100 square feet, no air conditioning, maybe a one car garage. Today the average size has raised to nearly 3,500 square feet with all the extras. The cost of workin’ was also brought into the discussion.

‘Course if ya go back to the days this area was bein’ settled, the whole family typically worked the farm. Havin’ only two workers in the family would have been a real luxury.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’

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Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

My name is Victor, and as an upcoming college freshman, in a fit of my new-found freedom, I want to add a comical touch to my car (when and if I ever get one). I was thinking about gluing a coffee mug onto the roof of my car right above the driver’s seat, as if I forgot my morning coffee. I think it would be funny to see me driving down the highway, 70 mph, with my forgotten drink clinging to the roof of my car for dear life. I have two questions: (1) What glue do you guys suggest so as not to have the paint eaten off the roof. (2) Do you guys think this is funny? Because I want my host honorable Car Talk Guys’ stamp of approval of humor before I go ahead with my prank on the world. --Victor

TOM: I think it’s very clever, Victor. I know there are serious people all over the place who will disagree with me, but I think we all need a few more laughs these days. So I’m all for it.

RAY: I think the only concerns you need to consider relate to safety. First of all, you don’t want the cup to fly off when you’re going 70 mph and hit some other car in the windshield. Or even just scare another driver if it comes flying at him.

TOM: So, forget about glue. I wouldn’t trust a commercial glue in that situation, at those speeds. What you need are sheet-metal screws!

RAY: Right. We know, since you’re an entering college student, that any car you buy will be old, ugly and crying out to have a few holes drilled in its roof. To prevent leaks into the car, cover the tops of the screws with a clear, silicone caulk. . And draw a bead around the outside of the cup also. Funny.



By Monte Dutton

Hornish Jr. Making Adjustment to NASCAR

DOVER, Del. -- Sam Hornish Jr. is getting the hang of the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series.

Hornish, from Defiance, Ohio, has quite the impressive resume. He is a former winner of the Indianapolis 500 and a three-time IndyCar champion. When he struggled in NASCAR, many observers anticipated that he might return to the open-wheel ranks, but the challenge of adapting to stock cars appealed to him.

Though he was runner-up to Regan Smith in the Raybestos Rookie of the Year race, Hornish was only 35th in the final standings. He has stuck with the NASCAR experiment, and recently his performances have notably improved. He finished ninth at Phoenix, sixth at Richmond, 16th at Charlotte and 13th in Dover’s Autism Speaks 400.

Falling from the spotlight in NASCAR didn’t faze Hornish.

"I’ve never really considered myself somebody that needed a bunch of attention," he said. "To be able to sit back and watch what other people are doing, and not have all the pressure on you all the time was good. It enabled me sometimes to learn a little bit more and also be able to kind of fly under the radar and to be able to make my way in and out of certain areas.

"The better you do, the more consistently that you’re in the top 15, the top 10, you’re going to get more and more attention. Obviously, I want that because it means we’re running well, but as far as needing it, keeping the sponsor (Mobil 1) happy is the first thing, and then also keeping myself happy as far as how we do on the race track are the two most important things."

Part of Hornish’s transition has involved adapting to NASCAR’s longer races.

"I had all that experience running the Indy cars," he said, "and a lot of times I consider those sprint races because they’re 200 laps or 200 miles. Everything that we run over here is 400 or 500 laps, or 400 or 500 miles. Sometimes it’s a matter of pacing yourself to get to the end with all the fenders intact."


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