| today's
laugh College
Writing
A visitor to a certain college paused
to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on
campus.
"It’s a pleasure to see a
building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.
"Actually," said his guide,
"it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No
relation."
The visitor was astonished. "Was
Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"
"Yes, indeed," said his
guide. "He wrote a check."
-Creativity is no substitute for
knowing what you’re doing.
-Bureaucracy: a method for transforming
energy into solid waste.
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
MAY SUE THE ELECTRIC.
T. B. Haughawout,
Attorney for the Plaintiff, Watching His Condition.
It has been currently reported that Z.
T. Lindley, the patent right man who got his skull
crushed on the electric Saturday night, will bring suit
in circuit court against the electric railway for a large
sum for damages. The suit, according to rumors, will be
for something between $10,000 and $25,000.
An electric line director was asked
about it, and though he had not heard of any suit, he did
not seem surprised that such a thing should be talked of.
T. B. Haughawout admitted to a reporter
that he had been spoken to about conducting a suit for
Lindley, and that he would probably do so, but that
nothing had yet been decided as to the amount of damages
that would be claimed. That could not be decided, he
said, till the condition of Lindley was determined, and
in the meantime he is waiting and watching the outcome of
Lindley’s injuries.
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Today's Feature Vern Young Band
to Perform at Festival.
The Vern Young Band will
perform this Friday evening in the old Carthage
High School Auditorium as part of the 8th Annual
Carthage Acoustic Music Festival. This is the
first year Young has been at the festival. Also
performing will be the Alferd Packer Memorial
String Band. The show will begin at 7 p.m. and
tickets are $8. Advance tickets are available at
Oldies and Oddities Mall on the west side of the
square.
Vern Young has been performing
country/bluegrass music for over 60 years, but it
was after retiring from a government job in Utah
that he moved to Lamar, Missouri in 1990 and
started to performing full-time on the bluegrass
circuit. He won the Society for the Preservation
of Bluegrass Music in America (SPBGMA) Midwest
traditional vocalist of the year six times since
1990, the lastest being for the year 2003. This
award is bestowed upon the recipient by the fans.
He was also nominated for the national
traditional singer SPBGMA Award in Nashville in
1991 and 1992.
Joe Smith, a native of
Pennsylvania, but now living in Lamar, Missouri,
has been named Dobro player of the year by fans
in the Midwest SPBGMA organization for nine
years. He was also nominated for the honor at the
national level in Nashville in 1992.
Charlotte Mayall, a true
southern lady from Granbury, Texas, was nominated
in 2003 for the Midwest SPBGMA Awards for
traditional female singer and upright bass
player.
The group really enjoys
bringing old-time country music to audiences
throughout the United States and are accepted
with open arms wherever they play.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’m gonna have ta get
me a pair of galosha’s. Growin’ up
all us kids had a pair with the buckles. They
were big enough ta fit over the shoe and you
could tuck the pants leg down inside. They
were great for splashin’ in mud puddles
and wadin’ in the small ditch that ran
in front of the house.
There wasn’t anything
much more fun that gettin’ out after a
good summer rain and slopin’ around in
the puddles.
Course now folks might
think it a little odd to see the neighbor out
jumpin’ up and down in a mud hole.
That’s one of the good
things ‘bout bein’ a kid. You could
do things just ‘cause ya wanted to. If
someone though your were a little crazy, it
just added to the fun.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Weekly Columns THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
"Green"
Tips Can Save Money, Too
Q: I read your column a couple
weeks back about starting an
"eco-friendly" home. I have some more
tips for your readers that are easy to follow and
can save money too:
• For the refrigerator, in
addition to keeping the coils underneath or in
the back clean, also clean the rubber seals
around the inside of the door so it closes
tightly.
• Move the refrigerator a
few inches away from the wall so air circulates
around the condenser.
• When cooking on an
electric stove, just before something is
completely cooked, turn off the burner and let
the residual heat do the work.
• Don’t keep opening
the oven door to check on something that’s
cooking, as you’ll release heat into the
kitchen, making your air conditioner work harder.
It also changes the temperature inside the oven,
which means cooking results may be unpredictable.
• If you have a
dishwasher, run it when it’s full to save
water and energy. Use the air-dry rather than
heat-dry setting. Also, don’t pre-rinse
dishes; just scrape them.
• And of course, keep all
your appliances clean. They will work more
efficiently and last longer, too.
I hope these tips will help
your readers. -- Dale in San Diego
A: These are great tips! Many
of these are things that most of us already do,
and we can quickly adjust to add other techniques
such as scraping instead of rinsing.
Cleaning the refrigerator seals
(and the dishwasher seal while you’re at it)
should be done with a mild soap and water
solution; scrubbing could damage the seals. So,
if you have a stubborn bit of gunk on the seal,
soak it with the soapy water for a few minutes
and try cleaning it again.
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