Youve Chosen a "No Frills" Airline
You cant board the plane unless
you have the exact change.
Before you take off, the stewardess
tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to
chip in a little for gas..
The Captain yells at the ground crew to
get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their
planes crash and he says, "Just once."
No movie. Dont need one. Your
life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, but hes
demanding to be let off the plane.
All the planes have both a bathroom and
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Five Cars of Coal for
The county court recently ordered five
carloads of coal, all of which were received today. One
carload is being taken to the jail, one carload to the
poor farm and three carloads to the court house.
Evidently the county is now going to be caught by a coal
famine this winter.
F. E. Purple and Andrew Howen, who have
been here for several days, departed this morning for
their home in Tomahawk, Wisconsin. They have taken a
lease of the New Richmond mines on the Chitwood land at
Carl Junction, and Mr. Purple expects to return here in
about three weeks to reside. Mr. Howen expects to move
here next spring to make this city his home.
T.A. Wakefield of Springfield, many
years ago county collector of Jasper county, is in town
today. He was a resident of Carthage from 1877 to 1884.
The Powers Museum will be the
location of a rest stop for Mike Conlin of New
Orleans this afternoon.
Conlin is traveling the old
Jefferson Highway. The Jefferson was an early
auto trail (1916-1929) that was the first
trans-continental highway that went north/south.
It connected Winnipeg, Canada, and all points in
between to New Orleans. For many years it was
managed by James Douglas Clarkson of Carthage,
Missouri. Carthage will be the only stop in SW
Missouri for Conlin.
New Orleans, Friday,
February 5, 1926 "The
"Pine-to-Palm" motorcade from Winnipeg,
led by Mayor Ralph H. Webb of the Canadian city,
and W. McCurd, business manager of the Winnipeg
Tribune, with 132 residents of Winnipeg traveling
in Thirty-two automobiles, completed their tour
of the complete length of the Jefferson Highway
at 8 oclock last night The toughest part of
the trip was a 100 mile stretch through Iowa over
a highway covered with three inches of ice from a
sleet storm. Two of the automobiles turned over
but no one was injured."
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Charts Own Course
When Robby Gordon was asked if
he had any advice to give Tony Stewart about
being both a driver and owner, Gordon said,
"Be careful what you wish for. You might
just get it."
Gordon, however, was kidding.
"You know, its a
chore to be the driver and the owner," he
says. "At the same time, provided you hire
the right people and they do their job, and
follow through with it and take ownership,
its not that big a deal. Its just a
case where you have to get involved in certain
It sometimes seems as if Robby
Gordon has an unwieldy nickname because his name
is so often followed by parentheses: "(no
relation to Jeff)." But the other Gordon,
who has won three times in the NASCAR Sprint Cup
Series himself, is one of Americas more
versatile and talented drivers.
Like the "other"
Gordon, Robby was born in California. Like Tony
Stewart, he has twice competed in the
Indianapolis 500 and Coca-Cola 600 on the same
day. Unlike Jeff Gordon and Stewart, Robby has
won the Baja 1000 three times, and he has
competed in recent years in the Dakar Rally. He
has won in Indy cars, stock cars and off-road
vehicles. Desert racing also provided a
foundation in the careers of Jimmie Johnson and
Unlike Johnson and Mears,
though, Gordon still competes in off-road
racings major events.
In 2005, Gordon became the
first American to win a stage in the Dakar Rally,
and in 1999, he wouldve won the Indy 500
had his car had enough fuel to complete the final
In NASCAR, Robby Gordon follows
a fiercely independent path, with more in common
with the sports pioneers than most of his
modern-day colleagues. No driver-owner has won
the championship of NASCARs premier series
since the late Alan Kulwicki in 1992, and no
representative of a single-car team has won it
all since the late Dale Earnhardt in 1994.
As thoroughly modern as Gordon
is, an argument can be made that he shares much
with the fierce individualists who built NASCAR,
men like Junior Johnson, Bud Moore, Dave Marcis
and Junie Donlavey, who owned the first Cup car
Gordon ever drove.
Monte Dutton has covered
motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
1993. He was named writer of the year by the
National Motorsports Press Association in 2008.
Ive heard that turkey
has some chemical in it that makes ya sleepy.
I suppose Im not one to argue with
experts, but Ive never noticed it
bein any different than a good
helpin of roast beef. Eatin a
good portion of anything seems ta make most
folks wanna take a little nap.
Learned that in the first
grade (they didnt have kindergarten
where I went to school). We all brought our
nap mats and laid em out on the floor.
Mostly we just made faces at other kids under
the desks, but on occasion Id actually
snooze a little.
Its amazin how
few first graders snore. Must be a learned at
a higher grade level.They say us Americans
dont get enough sleep. Nappin
still sounds good.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband inherited a 1974
Ford F-100 from his dad, and I would like to use
it to pick up a load of rocks for landscaping. My
husband says it cant handle this, and so I
ask the question: Can the truck handle it? The
drive is about 19 miles from the house, and
Im only talking about a scoop of rocks from
a cement company. They basically scoop the rocks
and dump them on the truck. Im not sure
about the weight of the rocks. Hope you can
help...I have an acre and would like to landscape
part of my yard. My husband could just be making
an excuse. -
Tom: It cant handle it,
Judy. First well give you the technical
explanation, then well give you the marital
Ray: We havent seen a
74 F-100 in ages. But the "100"
designation meant that it was designed to carry
up to half a ton, or 1,000 pounds.
Tom: or two and a half
Ray: So the question is, What
does a pickup-truck-bed full of rocks weigh?
According to our rock insiders, dry gravel weighs
around 100 pounds a cubic foot. Thats
Tom: I dont know if your
F100 has a 6-foot bed or an 8-foot bed, but
lets say it has an 8-foot bed. That means
the bed is approximately 4 feet by 8 feet, or 32
square feet. And if you pile the gravel 1 foot
high, you have 32 cubic feet. Thats 3,200
Ray: Or four broken springs and
two broken axles. Now the marital reason. If you
do, every time the slightest squeak or groan
comes from the truck, your husband will forever
blame it on "that time you hauled the rocks
in it." So its just not worth it Judy.
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.