A hangover is
the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Every morning is the dawn of a new
Sea captains dont like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Show me a piano falling down a mine
shaft, and Ill show you a flat minor.
The short fortuneteller who escaped
from prison was a small medium at large.
Santas helpers are subordinate
Did you hear about the Buddhist who
refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to
transcend dental medication.
When you dream in color, its a
pigment of your imagination.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Justice After the
Times are awfully slow in the justice
courts this week, and in order to keep his
"mill" grinding, Justice Woodward yesterday
instituted a proceeding versus the mice which have been
stealing his wheat. Last summer he stored forty-four
bushels of sacked grain in his court room over
Witts billiard hall, and an inventory showed only
forty-three bushels remaining. All the sacks were shifted
and when a reporter happened around the court room looked
more like a granary than a place of justice.
"But it is a place of
justice," declared the squire "I find
these pesky varmints guilty of petit larceny and-"
There was a squeak of "not
guilty" from a score of tiny throats.
"And I sentence them all to be
hanged by the neck until dead the first day of the first
month they put their heads inside these traps."
H1N1 for Gitmo
Southwest Missouri Congressman Roy Blunt today
continued his criticism of the Obama
Administrations approach to distribution of
the vaccine for H1N1 in the wake of news reports
that accused terrorists at Guantanamo Bay will
receive vaccinations ahead of many vulnerable
"Its outrageous that
in Missouri, expectant mothers, children and
others vulnerable to the H1N1 virus do not have
access to the vaccine, and our tax dollars are
funding vaccines for accused terrorists detained
at Gitmo," Blunt said. "President Obama
called this pandemic a national
emergency, but the federal government
continues to fail at one of its most basic
responsibilities. And now the Administration
tells us no longer women and children
first; instead accused terrorists will be
first in line for H1N1 vaccines."
"If the Obama
Administration has enough vaccines for
terrorists, then I suggest they send these doses
to Missouri, where many vulnerable people are
still at risk," Blunt continued.
Towns, Waiting for the Stimulus to Arrive
by Christopher Flavelle,
We start today, as we often do,
with the latest must-read stimulus story from the
Associated Press. The APs Matt Apuzzo and
Justin Juozapavicius examine the Obama
administrations difficulty in using the
stimulus to revive American factory towns. The
two focus on the city of Lamar, Mo., where the
closing of a local furniture maker in mid-2007
marked an early start to the recession, and where
even the mayor had to file for unemployment when
his store went out of business. "What work?
Where?" says the mayor, when asked about the
640,000 jobs reported to have been created or
saved by the stimulus.
The AP reports that just 2,500
of those jobs were in the manufacturing industry,
and while towns like Lamar would likely have been
worse off without the increased unemployment and
Medicaid benefits included in the stimulus, those
benefits "are harder to see than a job and a
Over at The New York Times, the
(weirdly anonymous) editors of the "Room for
Debate" blog assembled a team of economists
to discuss that old chestnut, "Did the
stimulus work?" But dont hold your
breath for a hard answer: the editors managed to
find a "Yes," a "No" and two
varieties of "Sort of." Were
looking forward to the day when the Times
launches a blog titled "Straight Answers
Meanwhile, Paul Krugman writes
that the so-far weak recovery argues for more
stimulus, not less. This is a familiar argument,
but Krugman adds an interesting twist: the claim
that stimulus spending will lead to higher taxes
down the road is "mostly wrong," he
argues, since "spending more on recovery
will lead to a stronger economy, both now and in
the futureand a stronger economy means more
government revenue." The Reagan-era
supply-siders made similar arguments about the
benefits of lower taxes. Well see whether
Democrats buy Krugmans argument.
Computerworld is not a news
source that often makes its way into our roundup,
but todays story by Julia King merits a
mention. King looks at the efforts of state
governments to make their stimulus spending
transparent. Just as the size of the stimulus is
unprecedented, King writes, so are the reporting
demands on state governments. For example,
Iowas chief information officer estimates
that his organization spent 800 employee hours
making the states stimulus data available
to the public. Given ongoing questions about the
accuracy of the stimulus data released by the
federal government, transparency efforts at the
state level are worth watching.
Ive always heard the
old sayin that opinions are like belly
buttons, everbodys got one. The
other slant on that I tend ta like better is
that opinions are like armpits,
everbodys got a couple.
Now a lotta folks
dont think their opinions are any more
worthwhile than the next. That seems ta be a
pretty healthy attitude. Throw them ideas out
there and kick em around. Someone might
pick up on a mediocre idea and run with it,
turnin it into somethin no one
else would a thought of.
The real problems arise
when someone seems ta think there can be only
one opinion, and theyve got it.
Theres always more
than one way ta look at any particular
situation. Its the arguments that
sometimes dont always make sense.
Either way its an interestin
proposition. A lot more interestin than
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Training OK for Young Children
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I would like
to give my 10-year-old grandson some conditioning
advice. He loves basketball. It has occurred to
me that upper-body strength is helpful in
shooting long shots and in positioning for
rebounds. In high school, I had a well-developed
lower body but a poorly developed upper body.
This handicapped me when shooting long shots. I
have added pushups to my daily exercises, and
this has helped me in shooting three-pointers.
My questions are: When is a
good time for a boy to start building muscle? Are
there any exercises you would recommend for
upper-body strength building for a 10-year-old?
ANSWER: The sports community,
until recently, frowned on strength training
(weightlifting, muscle building, resistance
exercise) for children who had not reached
puberty. They thought that children, before the
male hormone surge that takes place at puberty,
would not benefit from it. Its been shown
that they do, and that children as young as 7
show improvement in strength.
The sports community also
feared that weightlifting posed a health threat
to young children whose bones are not completely
calcified. Young bones have growth plates,
sections of bone that have yet to become real
bone. Growth plates permit bone elongation. These
areas are areas of weakness. A well-supervised,
well-designed weightlifting program doesnt
injure growth plates. In fact, such a program
protects children from common sports injuries.
All this applies to girls as well as boys.
Your grandson can do the same
exercises you do -- with less weight. Your
pushups are a good example. Body weight is the
weight being hoisted. Chin-ups are another
strength-building exercise in which body weight
is the stimulus for muscle growth. He also can
lift barbells and dumbbells. He should start with
a weight that he can lift 12 consecutive times
without straining. When he can perform two sets
of 15 consecutive lifts, you can increase the
weight by one to 3 pounds and go back to the 12
lifts. Barbell and dumbbell curls and bench
presses are good upper-body strength-building
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