| today's
laugh I’m tired
because I’m overworked. Here’s why: The
population of this country is 273 million.
Why I’m Tired of Working?
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which
leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed
by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the
work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14,800,000
people who work for state and city governments, and that
leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000
people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in
prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the
work. You and me. And there you are sitting, reading
jokes.
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Two Ball Games for
Sunday.
Printers
vs. Barbers and
Grocers vs.
Blacksmiths at Fair Grounds.
Two ball games are scheduled for
Sunday, both of which are attracting a good deal of
attention. They will be played at the fair grounds and
admission will be free.
The first game will be between the
printers and barbers of this city, and will begin at 1:30
or 2 o’clock, so as to get out of the way of the
blacksmiths and retail grocers, who will follow with a
hotly contested match game. The printers and barbers will
probably play only a five or six inning game, so as not
to delay the others. They think that will give them all
the exercise they need anyway.
For the printers, C. O. Morgan will
catch, J. B. McBurney pitch and Earl Curry play first
base. For the barbers, Steve Marsee will catch, Park
Brown pitch and Charles Marsee play first base. The rest
of the two nines have not been agreed on yet.
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Today's Feature MAJOR SAVER CARDS
ON SALE THROUGH NOVEMBER 3
The Carthage R-9 School
Foundation’s 2009 Major Saver Cards are now
available. Cards may be purchased from Carthage
elementary, middle school and junior high school
students or by calling the Carthage R-9 School
Foundation at 417.359.7047. The cards will be
available through November 3 for only $10 each.
"This is an important
fundraiser," says Vicki Cash, Foundation
Director. "Each elementary school, the
Middle School and the Junior High receive a
portion of the funds raised through the
sale."
Major Saver discount cards
include special offers on purchases at 15 area
businesses. Many favorites as well as several new
businesses are featured on this year’s card.
"We are grateful to these
businesses for their support of Carthage R-9
School Foundation and Carthage schools through
sponsorship of this important program," says
Cash.
The Carthage R-9 School
Foundation assists the school district in
providing enhanced educational opportunities for
students and teachers.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
For those tryin’ to
find a source for the H1N1 vaccine, there
will be a vaccination clinic over in Joplin
next Tuesday at the Access Family Care
located at 530 Maiden Lane accordin’ to
the Jasper County Health Department. They are
askin’ for an appointment by
callin’ 358-3111.
Eligibility to receive the
vaccine durin’ the clinic will be based
on recommended priority groups which include
healthy people between 2 and 49 years of age,
healthy people livin’ with or caring for
infants younger than 6 months, and healthcare
or emergency medical personnel. Those over 50
are not included. This is the nasal spray
vaccine.
The clinic will be from 4
p.m. until 6:30 and there will be a five
dollar charge for administration.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by Carthage
Printing |
Weekly Columns
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• High on my
list of household aggravators is a pile of junk
mail. Get a good-quality shredder and utilize it
right away. Piles of paper invite dust to form.
Don’t let junk mail in, and it will never
overstay its welcome.
• After
you’ve given your shower a good cleaning,
apply some car wax to the shower walls. It will
repel water and keep mildew at bay. Also, give a
nice coating of petroleum jelly to door tracks.
It will keep them in tiptip sliding shape.
• "Use a
clothespin to clip a milk carton closed. This
works on small containers of cream and orange
juice as well. It will help keep the milk from
absorbing any odors from items stored near it.
This has worked for me for years. I use
lactose-free milk, and it only comes in a
carton." -- E.M. in Oregon
• Here’s
another clip tip: Try using a chip clip to hang a
mesh bag in the shower for bath toys. If you find
a clip that has a hole in one part of the handle,
you can attach it to a curtain ring. The chip
clip has better coverage, since it’s wider
than a standard clothespin.
• To keep
boots upright, stick an egg carton down the leg
portion. This way, it won’t flop over and
create a crease.
• "If
you use a serving tray or lap tray for food,
always line it with a small towel. This way, the
plates or bowls will not slide around, and there
will be a towel to catch drips. I use these
frequently for my mother, and it makes the dishes
much more stable on the tray." -- P.A. in
Georgia
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