| today's
laugh Things
I’ve learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
You should not throw baseballs up when
the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat,
you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get
a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane)
doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the
words "uh oh", it’s already too late.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire
with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they
can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego’s will pass through
the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be
used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
1908
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
CLEARED OF A MURDER
CHARGE.
B.E. Wilbur, of East of Town, Defended
at Winfield, Kan., by David Roper.
David Roper returned last night from
Winfield, Kansas, where he has been for a week defending
an old friend, B.E. Wilbur, at a preliminary hearing on
the charge of murder. The defendant was cleared.
Wilbur formerly lived eight miles east
of Carthage in the Roper neighborhood. He is said to have
a good reputation. His brother, J.H. Wilbur, now lives in
this city on Case street, and was with his brother and
Attorney Roper all through the trial, helping them all he
could. He also returned to Carthage last night and says
that Mr. Roper made one of the finest speeches he ever
heard and handled the case admirably.
The story which led up to Wilbur’s
arrest is an interesting one. He and his wife have not
been married long. They went to Kansas to take a ranch.
That did not pan out to be what he expected and he left
it to go on the road for a patent stained window glass
concern. He was working with a man named Zerfoose in
selling these goods on the road. They went to Winfield
the first part of April to see what business they could
do there, and arriving in the evening put up at a hotel.
It so happened that that night, after
midnight, the Santa Fe night operator was murdered while
alone on duty in his office. The railroad and others
offered rewards aggregating $1,700 for the apprehension
of the murderer. The prospective reward led to a diligent
search, and certain parties charged Wilbur and his
partner, Zerfoose, with the crime.
Wilbur’s hearing came first. After
his attorney had sifted the evidence carefully and hunted
up vindicating evidence of his own, the case against
Wilbur was found to amount to nothing. It was so slight
that the justice before whom he was tried refused even to
bind him over to the grand jury. Zerfoose’s
preliminary hearing is yet to come, but is almost certain
to follow the same course.
| |
Today's Feature Free Language
Classes.
The Family Literacy Center,
located at 706 Orchard, is now offering classes
to the Carthage community. There is no fee.
Classes for English as a second
language will be on Tuesday and Thursday mornings
at 9 a.m. until 11 a.m. and Tuesday and Thursday
evenings at 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. These classes are
for beginning students who speak no English at
all, to levels more advanced.
A computer class will be
offered at 9 a.m. until 11 a.m. on Wednesday
mornings for students of all ages who wish to
learn keyboarding on to advance, with letter
writing and excel spread sheets. Internet usage
will also be taught and trips to the Carthage
Library.
On Wednesdays at 11 p.m. the
Center will have Citizenship classes each week.
These classes prepare the student for becoming a
citizen of the United States.
Wednesday afternoon from 3 p.m.
until 5 p.m. will be free to help children and
adults improve their reading skills. Spanish
classes will also be offered to children and
adults that want to learn the language.
For information call 358-5926.
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Now I suppose that if a
fella was out pear pickin’ and happened
to be standin’ exactly where the perfect
pear was fallin’, and he happened to see
it on the way down and caught if ‘fore
it hit the ground and got all bruised, most
would call that good luck. Some would call it
the ultimate windfall.
The fact is, the pear was
gonna fall whether the fella was there or
not. The fact that he happened to be
standin’ in the perfect spot was most
likely ‘cause he was lookin’ for
the opportunity. It wasn’t luck at all.
He had prepared himself to be ready to take
advantage of any opportunity that happened to
arise, then took action to take advantage of
the the situation. Lotta folks woulda been
lookin’ at their feet and ended up with
pear juice in their hair.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by |
Weekly Columns
To Your Good
Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Constipation
Relief
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Please do me
a favor. Repeat your recipe for relieving
constipation. I tried it for a week and got good
results. Unfortunately I have misplaced the
directions. I suspect others must be in the same
boat. -- A.T.
ANSWER: The mixture consists of
2 cups of Miller’s bran (the kind found in
health food stores), 2 cups of applesauce and 1
cup of prune juice, sweetened or unsweetened.
Refrigerate the concoction and take 2 or 3
tablespoons twice a day. Feel free to add
anything you want -- nuts, fruits or your
favorite spices -- but don’t omit the three
basic ingredients. I am not the author of this
recipe. If I knew who was, I’d give that
person full honors.
Constipation is a problem that
afflicts a sizable number of people. Readers who
would like more information on the subject and
its treatment can order a copy of the pamphlet on
that topic by writing: Dr. Donohue -- No. 504W,
Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. Enclose a
check or money order (no cash) for $4.50 U.S./$6
Canada with the recipient’s printed name and
address. Please allow four weeks for delivery.
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Please say
something about concussions. I am a coach for a
Little League Baseball team, and I want to be
prepared for everything. Last summer, a kid was
knocked out, and no one knew what to do. -- G.P.
ANSWER: There’s a mistaken
notion that loss of consciousness is required to
make a concussion a concussion. Not so. After a
head blow, being dazed and not being able to
follow directions constitute a concussion. Any
deviation from normal clear thinking is a
concussion.
If, after a head blow, a player
is a bit confused but the confusion clears within
15 minutes, that player can resume play if
someone keeps a close eye on him or her. Any
lapse into confusion requires pulling the player
and having a doctor examine that child -- or
adult.
|
Copyright 1997-2009 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
|