The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 28, 2000 Volume IX, Number 135

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage Recycling Drop-off Center and Composting Lot will be closed for the New Year Holiday, Tuesday, January 2, 2001. The Center, 1309 Oak Hill Road, will be back to its normal schedule after the holidays.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage Public Library will be closed on New Year’s Day.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Powers Museum will be closed during January and February. Anyone needing information from the museum’s library and archives during this shutdown period may call 417-358-2667 or email to make an appointment with the museum’s curator. The museum will re-open on March 2, 2001.

today's laugh

There was a terrible mishap at the circus yesterday.
The lion tamer needed a tamer lion.

A man complains to a psychiatrist that he goes around biting his nails all the time. The psychiatrist says, "That’s not so bad."
The man says, "But I’m a carpenter!"

A second-grader is heard saying a terrible four-letter word by his teacher. She admonishes him, "You shouldn’t use a word like that. You don’t even know what it means."
The second-grader says, "Sure I do. It means that the car won’t start."

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Was a Story of Hypnosis.

The "Hindoo Hoodoo" last night at the Grand was the story of a disciple of Mahatma, an Indian sorcerer, who hypnotized two men and sent their souls to the stars, then called one of them back and sent it into the wrong man, when his occult power failed. The play then was a series of funny breaks, in love and business, made by one man who thought he was somebody else.

A fair-sized audience attended. The two leading parts were well played and the support was quite good. The audience was kept in an almost constant laugh from start to finish.

Fred Blair is very thankful to several friends who on Christmas sent a turkey and some other articles to his old father, Berry Blair, who has been sick for over a year past and is partially paralyzed, depending on his son for support.

  Today's Feature

Expanded Sunday Rides.

The City Council swaggered through the modification of the ordinance regulating the sale of packaged liquor during the regular Council meeting Tuesday evening in City Hall. The Public Safety Committee had voted 2-1 to recommend the hours of sale remain from 1 until midnight on Sundays. Committee Chair H.J. Johnson put that recommendation before the Council in the form of a motion. After some discussion, Council member Don Stearnes moved to amend the motion to change the hours from noon to midnight. The amended motion passed 5-4. Member Larry Ross was absent.

Members Johnson, Fortune, Boyer, McPheeters, and Stearnes voted for. Bastin, Whitledge, Dunaway, and Clark voted against. The amended motion then passed with a 6-3 vote. Dunaway had stated earlier he could accept the noon opening time and voted with the other five in favor.

The change will require a Council bill and approval of the bill will take six votes.

The Council also voted unanimously to accept an offer of donated land from Precious Moments just north of their motel as a site for a new fire substation.

MGE Offers Help For Higher Gas Bills.

news release

Due to extreme temperatures and nationwide increases in the price of natural gas, most customers are receiving bills that are substantially higher than bills received during the same period last year and bills received last month.

Missouri Gas Energy is confident that gas usage amounts reflected on its customers’ bills are correct. MGE began using an automated meter reading system several years ago to ensure the accuracy of its bills.

Sharp decreases in temperatures have resulted in the use of much more gas to heat homes. According to weather data, November 2000 was the sixth coldest November on record, compared to November 1999, which was the second warmest. On average, MGE customers used nearly 100 percent more gas in November 2000 than they did in November 1999. Those usage increases, combined with the increased cost of gas, are causing customers’ total bills to increase an average of 150 percent compared to the same period last year.

In addition, customers are experiencing sizable increases in their current bills when compared to the previous month’s bills. Those higher bills are also a result of the colder temperatures.

"Gas customers across the Midwest are experiencing big increases in their bills," said Paul Snider, spokesperson for Missouri Gas Energy. "And the reason for that is the very cold weather we’ve had and the higher prices for natural gas."

Snider said that if customers expect to have diffculties paying their bills, they should contact the company to set up a pay arrangement. The company said the best way to guard against spikes in bills is to enroll in its ABC level payment plan. Customers can enroll in the plan over the phone by calling a special automated line at (816) 360-5763. Customers should have their name, address and account number available when calling.

Just Jake Talkin'


I keep lookin’ at the extended weather forecast hopin’ for a glimmer of hope. For the last several years there has always been a 60 degree day somewhere out there. All I’m seein’ now is twenty-somethin’.

The good news is that the lows aren’t gettin’ extreme, stayin’ above aught.

‘Course when the cold snap started folks were encouraged ‘cause it meant the grasshoppers, fleas and other critters wouldn’t be as bad come spring. I’m thinkin’ that bright spot has pretty well been used up by now.

I’m sure that some businesses are bein’ helped by the extended cold, but in general I hear retailers are slowed a mite. Prob’ly a good time ta be pricin’ that ski boat.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.



Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column

Click & Clack

by Tom & Ray Magliozzi

Dear Tom & Ray:

My 1994 Olds Cutlass Ciera has been a great car for 50,000 miles. I’m wondering if it could be made to handle a little better. It’s a little bouncy and it sways a little when it corners. Do you think if I got the right combination of new tires and shocks it would corner like a Corvette? And if it starts handling like a Corvette, will women suddenly become more interested in me? Or do I need to start smoking a pipe and wearing a smoking jacket and ascot for that? -AJ

RAY: My brother used to wear an ascot. But then he got his ascot in the fan one day, and that was the end of that.

TOM: You can’t make this handle like a Corvette, AJ! C’mon! This car doesn’t have a very sophisticated suspension to begin with. It doesn’t have four-wheel independent suspension, nor does it have a particularly stiff chassis. So no matter what you do to it, no one’s ever going to mistake it for a sports car.

RAY: However, new tires and "working" shocks will make a big difference if you need them. So that’s the place to invest some money if you feel it used to handle better than it does now. But get someone to check the shocks and tires for you first.

TOM: One other important thing about the Corvette, AJ. We’ve discovered through meticulous research that Corvettes ( and cars like them), contrary to popular belief, do not attract the attention of women. They tend to attract the attention of men, who THINK they attract the attention of women. Women tend to be frightened or intimidated by them.

RAY: Don’t get me wrong. This Cutlass Ciera of yours is no babe magnet. But if you really want women’s attention get something cute like a Miata, RAV 4, or a puppy.

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