A man with a
banana stuck in his ear and a green bean stuffed up each
nostril walks into the doctors office. The doctor
looks at him and asks what he can do for him.
"Doctor, I just havent been
feeling well lately, what could be wrong?"
"Isnt it obvious?
Youre just not eating right!"
Handy Engineering Conversions.....
Ratio of an igloos circumference
to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1
Time between slipping on a peel and
smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God:
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
President Washburn In
President and General Manager E.B.
Washburn of the Memphis railroad, accompanied by Dr. G.S.
Osborn of Salem, Mass., one of the prominent stockholders
of the road, dropped into Carthage unexpectedly at 3
oclock this afternoon. President Washburn has been
expected here for some time, but his arrival this
afternoon was a surprise.
Mr. Washburn and Dr. Osborn arrived at
Webb City about noon in the presidents private car,
and after a brief stay there came on to Carthage, where
they hunted up Major Harding, who at once made
preparations to take them for a drive over the city.
A reporter had a brief chat with both
gentlemen shortly before 4 oclock, and while giving
out nothing as to their plan for the proposed Memphis
branch from Minden to this city, they expressed
themselves as much pleased with the beauty and
substantial appearance of Carthage.
AARP Lobies for Financial Reform.
AARP has launched a
multi-faceted initiative to pass financial
reforms necessary to safeguard the pocketbooks of
Americans. The initiative includes targeted local
TV, radio and print ads in states; grassroots
engagement; national and local research; and
social media outreach.
AARP is calling on the Senate
to put consumers first, not the financial
institutions that caused the economic crisis that
hurt millions of older Americans. The ad campaign
highlights the consequences of the financial
industrys reckless behavior, using a jingle
that asks Congress to "Stop the fat cats
from putting your money at risk."
"Older Americans, whose
retirement nest eggs were decimated by the
failure of an outdated and compromised financial
regulatory system, overwhelmingly say they want
reform," said Craig Eichelman, AARP Missouri
senior state director. "We strongly believe
that any bill the Senate passes should protect
the rights of consumers first and foremost."
"Our recent polling shows
that Americans 50+, regardless of party
affiliation, people want these protections and
that now is the time for Congress to act,"
added Eichelman. "They want clear
information so they can make better, more
informed decisions and greater transparency about
the financial products available to them. The
Senate must act now to protect
Polling revealed broad
agreement among Republicans, Democrats and
Independents for a number of initiatives,
96% favor requiring
banks to explain in plain language the terms,
conditions and fees associated with mortgages and
credit card debt. (Including Republicans (98%),
Democrats (95%), and Independents (96%).)
92% favor requiring
investment companies to disclose the costs,
risks, and benefits of all the financial products
they market and sell using plain language and a
user-friendly format. (Including Republicans
(91%), Democrats (91%), and Independents (95%).)
89% favor protecting
people from predatory lending practices, such as
excessive fees and penalties, on products ranging
from mortgages to credit cards to automobiles.
(Including Republicans (86%), Democrats and
93% favor requiring
financial advisors to tell consumers upfront
about fees or commissions they earn and any
conflicts of interest that potentially could bias
their advice because financial advisors should
put consumers interests ahead of theirs
when making recommendations. (Including
Republicans (91%) Democrats (91%) and
59% favor banks only
selling consumers mortgages, loans and other
products that meet the customers needs and
stay within the persons budget. (Including
Republicans (64%), Democrats (55%), and
66% favor the federal
government not being allowed to take away a
states right to enforce stricter consumer
protection laws. (Republicans (68%), Democrats
(67%), and Independents (66%).)
"AARP is calling on
Senators to pass a strong bill that includes,
among other protections, a strong and independent
consumer watchdog, rules that forbid the
financial industry from selling products they
know their customers cant afford or
dont understand, and greater transparency
in an industry that has historically operated
behind closed doors," said Eichelman.
Looks like after a while
I pulled that
other day. Tried to break off a loose thread
from a button. Still havent found the
button. Last I saw it it was rollin off
in the sunset somewhere.
I dont know what it
is that make ya figure this time you can
outsmart a piece a thread. Looks simple
enough. Just yank a little harder and at just
the right angle.
That technique works great
for removin buttons, but does little to
relieve the annoyance of a loose thread
danglin on the front of your shirt.
Some lessons just need ta
be relearned from time to time. Someone say
somethin bout bein smarter
than a piece a thread?
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Finger Joints Indicate Osteoarthritis
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Im
beginning to get little knobs on my finger
joints. I believe this is arthritis, and I have
seen it in the advanced stages. What can I do to
prevent it from getting worse? -- Anon.
ANSWER: The knobs on the finger
joints below the fingernail are Heberdens
nodes, named after an English doctor who died at
the start of the 19th century. Knobs on the
middle finger joints are Bouchards nodes,
named after a French doctor who died in the early
years of the 20th century. Both of these knobs
are signs of osteoarthritis -- the common kind of
arthritis, the kind that most seniors have at
least a touch of. Theyre similar to bone
spurs seen on backbones and other bones, another
consequence of osteoarthritis.
Osteoarthritis comes from
fraying of the cushioning cartilage inside
joints. How extensive or how incapacitating it
will be is unpredictable. Most people manage to
get along in spite of it. However, it can be a
great burden to others.
There is no preventive medicine
to stop osteoarthritis in its tracks. It has a
predilection for the fingers, hips, knees and
spine. Should it strike larger joints like hips,
knees and backbones, muscle strengthening will
serve you well. Strong muscles protect joints.
The exercise should not be so vigorous that it
causes pain, but it should be vigorous enough to
encourage strength building. Being overweight
increases the stress on knees and hips, so you
should strive to stay on the lean side.
Many people swear to the
effectiveness of chondroitin and glucosamine,
both of which are available without a
prescription, and often they come in combination.
Not a lot of evidence exists to endorse them
wholeheartedly, but if you want to give them a
try, they wont hurt you.
Copyright 1997-2010 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.