A very gentle
Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River
Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the
bridge, she noticed a young man fixing (ready) to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the
window and said, "Please dont jump. Think of
your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both
dead; Im going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your
wife and children."
He replied, "Im not married,
and I dont have any kids."
She said, "Well, think of Robert
He replied, "Whos Robert E.
She replied, "Well bless your
heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb Yankee."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
TO REBUILD THE RACE
T.M. Gatlin, of one and a half miles
west of town, took the contract this morning for
re-soiling and grading the half mile track at the Market
fair grounds. He takes the contract for $500 even money.
He is to re-soil both ends of the track, plow up the
whole track and roll it well, and put it in first class
shape in every respect. He will put what is called a mop
board around the inside of the track all the way, which
will keep the surface of the track from washing. Frank
Haven will oversee the work, and will have it done right.
He not only knows what a good track is, but has occasion
to use this track a good deal all during the summer and
is especially interested in having it a good one.
Mr. Gatlin said this morning, "I
intend to make this one of the best and fastest tracks in
the southwest. I have not only had much experience in
grading work in general, but I have often graded and
fitted up racing tracks and once made an entirely new
Bastin Wins By a
The Council seat in Second Ward
left open when Mike Harris was elected Mayor has
been unofficially filled. Former Council member
Charlie Bastin won the privilege by a one vote
margin last Tuesday.
With no one filing for the
position, state statutes dictate that any
write-in candidate that is legally qualified can
take the election. Eight write-in candidates were
reported by the Election office with each
receiving one vote, except Bastin, who received
two. It was uncertain Wednesday afternoon if
Bastin will accept the position. He has no legal
obligation to do so, but has served on the
Council for several terms in the past. Attempts
by this paper to contact Bastin were
In the two contested races for
City Council, incumbents John Studebaker of Ward
Three and Ward Five Council member Brent
Greninger both won reelection. Second Ward T.J.
Teed and First Ward Claude Newport were
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Fluke injury just a small
obstacle in Hamlins plans
Va. - Unfortunate circumstances have, at least
for the time being, sidetracked Denny Hamlin in
his bid for an elusive Sprint Cup championship.
havent, however, slowed him down at
Martinsville Speedway, where Hamlin won his
second straight race.
shortly before the start of the season, the most
likely candidate to challenge Jimmie Johnson
seemed to be Hamlin, the 29-year-old from
Chesterfield, Va., who collected half his eight
career wins last year and finished fifth in the
year you expect yourself to be better than you
were the previous year," said Hamlin.
a fluke injury muddied Hamlins championship
hopes. Before the season even started, Hamlin
suffered a knee injury while playing pickup
basketball. The original plan was to put off
surgery until after the season ended.
week Joe Gibbs Racing announced that Hamlin would
undergo surgery immediately. Scheduled for March
29, it had to wait until the following day when
Martinsvilles Goodys Fast Pain Relief
500 was rained out.
were going to wait until the end of the
season," said Hamlin, "but just decided
that it wasnt a good idea. We were doing
some further damage to the knee, and, to me,
its not something thats worth
suffering forever or having a permanent limp or
anything like that. It just didnt make much
injury contribute to Hamlins slow start?
Undoubtedly. The rigors of short-track racing at
Bristol caused additional soreness, and another
week on a short track at Martinsville played a
role in the decision to have surgery right away.
The timing was also right because of the open
date between races at Martinsville and Phoenix.
short run, the injury threw a monkey wrench into
what seemed likely to be the season Hamlin went
from being a star to being a superstar.
feel like, talent-wise, Im as good as
anyone on the race track," he said.
"Ultimately, it takes a lot of pieces of a
puzzle to make a championship run. The
drivers skill levels are probably 15 to 20
percent of it. Theres only so much I can
help but I think my team is better prepared this
a surgeon named Dr. Patrick Connor can only make
Hamlins knee better prepared ...
much more aggravatin than a
machine that isnt workin. The old
sayin that a car that isnt
runnin is nothin but a two
thousand pound radio pretty much sums it up.
Another machine of
questionable justification is those little
boxes they call ice makers. On occasion. Even
the folks that sell refrigerators tell ya
they only expect ice makers ta work a couple
three years. Thats why theyre so
easy to replace.
Cordless phones are
beginnin to edge up on my list of
disposable conveniences also. For twenty or
thirty bucks, ya toss out the two year old
when the battery gets weak. At least it keeps
ya "in style" while youre
yakin out in the garden. Theres
still comfort in the fact that if ya break a
hoe handle, you can still get down and use
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
My wifes grandfather
drives like an idiot. Specifically, he never
touches the brake pedal until the very last
second, at which point he slams on the brake,
throwing everyone forward and sending various
objects hurling about the car. Someone finally
asked him what he is thinking, and he replied
that he is prolonging the life of the brakes. His
theory is that if he slams on the brakes,
lurching the car to a fast, screeching halt in a
second, it means less time for the brake pads to
be rubbing and thus wearing down. If he gradually
eases the car to a nice, sane stop, it means all
the more time for the brakes to be wearing down.
Of course, hes crazy, right? Or could he be
on to something? -Ian
Ray: Maybe he doesnt like
you guys, Ian. Perhaps his real goal is to get
you all to stop riding with him. In which case,
its not working yet. Tell him he needs to
wait a few seconds longer before slamming on the
Tom: Hes nuts, Ian.
Ray: The amount of wear on the
brake pads can be calculated by multiplying force
Tom: So, using more force over
less distance (like hes doing) is really
the same as using less force over more distance
(like the rest of the sane population does).
Ray: In other words, hes
making you bang your foreheads on the dashboard
Tom: In fact, he even may be
shortening the life of his brakes. By repeatedly
causing a rapid rise in temperature from all that
friction, he could cause warping or cracking of
the brake lining material.
Ray: The best way to drive is
gently. Start gently, and slow down gently.
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