On a Sunday morning a mother knocks on her
sons bedroom door and tells him its time to
get up and go to church.
"Im not going to church this
morning," the son says.
"You have to get up and go to
church", says mother.
"No, Im not." says the
"Yes you are", says the
"No, Im not. They dont
like me and I dont like them." says the son.
"Give me two good reasons why I have to go."
"Number one, youre 55 years
old and number two, youre the pastor!"
- Celibacy is not hereditary
"Johnny," said the teacher,
"if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your
dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?"
"A little over three tons,
maam," said Johnny.
"Why, Johnny, that isnt
right," said the teacher.
"No, maam, I know it
isnt," said Johnny, "but they all do
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Dr. Bishop Called.
of the Westminster Presbyterian Church Chosen.
At a meeting of the members of the
Westminster Presbyterian church, held last night at the
church, a unanimous call was extended to Dr. Wm Frost
Bishop, of Liberty, Missouri, to accept the pastorate of
this church. Assurance had previously been received from
Dr. Bishop that he would accept the call. Dr. Bishop has
preached twice for the congregation and he is well liked.
He will remove his family to Carthage in a short time.
Major S.E. Wetzel, who is now devoting
all his attention to his milling interests at Galesburg,
spent Sunday with his family in this city. The Galesburg
mills are having a fine run on their "Whole Wheat
Burr Flour," the strong point about which is that it
contains all the food properties of the wheat.
Mr. Short handed out spread
sheets showing where the golf course had finished
for the last fiscal year. Mr. Short pointed out
the transfer from the general fund had ended up
being $76,500.00 instead of the projected
$114,000.00. So that was some good news but it
was still more than originally budgeted.
Golf Pro-Mark Peterson
Mr. Peterson reported he had
contacted several area courses to check on their
rounds and see how we compared. He stated all the
courses he had contacted were in the same shape
we were, rounds and revenue both down. Mr.
Peterson also stated he did not see golf as a
whole getting any better in the near future. Mr.
Peterson reported he had been looking at several
ways to reduce expenses without compromising the
quality of playing conditions but it would be
tough to do. Mr. Bull and Mr. Peterson both
saidthey would be bringing some ideas forward to
look at that might help the course
They say the trick to
rabbit huntin is to have a dog that
never quite catches up to the rabbit. The
furry little critters have a habit of
runnin in a big circle and comin
back to cross their tracks. The idea is to
confuse any varmit that is chasin
em. The hunter is supposed to stay put.
Eventually, the theory is, the rabbit will
come back by for an easy shot.
Havin a dog, as a
kid, and always thinkin that rabbit
huntin would be great sport, I went in
search of the wascally wabbit. Unfortunately,
the dog had not read the sportin
magazine that I had. Hed take out after
the rabbit all right, but eventually I would
have to go find the mut out sniffin in
a rat nest.
Course there is a
chance that the rabbit wrote the real story.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Carthage Printing Services
"If you have to
give your child medicine that he or she
doesnt like, let the child eat half of a
Popsicle first. Then give him the medicine, and
let him have the other half. This is especially
helpful during fevers or with vomiting, when you
want to stave off dehydration. Ice pops are
easier fluids to ingest, and the cold interrupts
the bad taste of the medicine." -- M.L. in
"You can buy fancy
hide-a-keys for your home that look like rocks,
etc., and have a hidden compartment. But you
dont have to go to the expense if all you
want is to have a spare emergency key. Put a copy
of your house key in a watertight container, such
as a small, plastic Tupperware container, and
bury it in a memorable spot. Stick a rock on top
to remind you of where it is buried." --
V.E. in Washington
If your small appliance
has a long cord, try looping it and stuffing the
excess through a cardboard paper-towel or
Protect the teeth on
handsaws by covering them up in storage. Cut a
length of garden hose to fit the length of the
saw, then split it down the side. Push the teeth
of the saw into the split, and your saw -- and
you -- are protected.
excellent way to save money: Foster a
relationship with your immediate neighbors to
form a natural cooperative. You can borrow tools
and resources, perform group tasks and share
experience. These all build a better community,
but they save money too." -- A.A. in Florida
Ladies, pick up a bottle
of inexpensive conditioner to use as shaving
cream. It softens and moisturizes while helping
you to get a nice shave. -- E.S. in Georgia
Copyright 1997-2010 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.