| today's
laugh Honorable Secretary of
Agriculture
Washington, D.C.
Dear Sir;
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells
Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for
not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not
raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your
opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs
on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I
want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping
with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to
raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to
raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or
Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this
program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how
many hogs I haven’t raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful
about the future of the business. He has been raising
hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on
them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your
check for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs,
will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to
operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to
about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000
the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will
not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I
understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn
and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising
wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going
to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not
milking cows" business, so send me any information
you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you
understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to
file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the
coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
PS: Would you please notify me when you
plan to distribute more free cheese.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BURNED BY A
POWDER FLASH.
Johnnie, the eleven year old son of Mr.
and Mrs. Nate Ogden, was quite badly though not seriously
burned with powder this morning.
The accident happened about 9
o’clock at his home on Fall street near Oak street.
He lit a paper which had some powder in it and the sudden
flash which followed burned his face and right hand
badly. He closed his eyes in time to save them, but his
eyebrows and eyelashes are burned away, and his hair
below the hat brim on each side was badly singed. His
face was more or less blistered all over and the back of
his right hand is a mass of blisters well up onto the
wrist. The burns do not seem to be deep, however.
He was taken promptly to Dr.
Freed’s office, where his injuries were dressed. He
was resting this afternoon as easy as could be expected
under the circumstances.
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Today's Feature McCune -Brooks Free TB Test.
The McCune-Brooks Health Focus
for the month of August is Tuberculosis or TB.
This disease can be spread through the air by
coughing or sneezing. TB usually affects the
lungs.
Anyone can develop TB if
exposed, but those who are at higher risk include
people closely associated with someone who had TB
or people with medical conditions such as
diabetes, some types of cancer or HIV.
Underweight persons are also at higher risk.
Individuals can be tested for
TB free-of-charge on August 16 from 1 to 3 p.m.
at McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital. Participants
must plan to return August 18, to have the test
read between the hours of 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
Participants are asked to use the main hospital
entrance for the TB clinic.
McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital
is located at 3125 Dr. Russell Smith Way, just
south of the intersection of HH Hwy. and 71 Hwy.
For more information call 359-1350 or 359-1351.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
It seems pretty amazing
that near eighty percent of those that voted
in the recent election voted, state-wide, for
one thing. I had no idea that eighty percent
of the population agreed on anything.
‘Course I’m
referrin’ to the Prop C ballot. In most
surveys you’re lucky to see a 60/40
split. That’s considered a pretty clear
mandate. Ya almost never see a 70/30.
I’d have ta guess that
if you ask a hunderd folks if pigs can fly
that you wouldn’t have eighty percent
agreein’.
Now I have no indication of
how Missouri represents the rest of the
country, but apparently there are other
states where the sentiment is equally
solidified. Looks like this discussion will
continue for a while.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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artCentral
ART
NOTES from Hyde House
by Sally
Armstrong, Director of artCentral
The dog days of summer are upon
us, and I am doing a bit of "inside
work" here at Hyde House, during this short
vacation time before the next gallery exhibition.
After the kids leave, it is always a good time to
spruce things up, as the woodwork is wearing a
lot of very colorful fingerprints and I
don’t have to describe for you the condition
of the bathroom and sink areas! For the few
readers who don’t know, our facility is an
old house from about 1900, white and two stories,
and sits nicely back from the street beneath a
lot of trees. It was the childhood and lifetime
home of Katherine Hyde, who died in the 1980s and
left the home and its property and grounds to the
city under the trust of UMB, the trustee being
John O. "Pat" Phelps at that time. For
a year or two, the house was used as a temporary
residence for visiting instructors of the arts to
Missouri Southern College, Joplin, as Miss Hyde
directed the house never be sold and only to be
used for "purposes for the arts."
Later, as our organization, artCentral, was in
the process of finding a third "new
home", needing to leave its previous
residence out at Red Oak II, the match was made.
It was certainly a match "made in
heaven" as it was always told Miss Hyde
desired artCentral to be here one day. A
conversion was made of her carriage house to
house a pottery studio downstairs with concrete
floor, new doors and windows and storage
cabinets, and a comfortable classroom upstairs,
with new wood floor, windows, and overhead
lighting. I feel her presence daily as I move
about her pink and green rooms, and it is a
pleasure to work in such a comfortable place. Our
kids who come here always are intrigued by the
house, its vivid pastels, and the art that
Katherine left behind. Once again, we thank her
and the current trustee, Lora Honey Phelps, who
is now our new "mistress" officially,
for the pleasure of this place and doing our
business here. We will never forget one
woman’s generosity nor her interest in art,
and thank her for this gift of "the Hyde
House."
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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