| today's
        laugh A rolled up newspaper
        can be an effective training tool when used properly. For
        instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews
        up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking
        accident. Bring the dog over to the destroyed object (or
        mess), then take the rolled-up newspaper... and hit
        yourself over the head as you repeat the phrase, 
        "I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG, I
        FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG!"  
        My uncle just told us his latest
        response when telemarketers call to urge him to switch
        long distance phone services. 
        He says "I dont have a
        phone." 
        They usually say "Oh, Im
        sorry." and hang up. 
          
        Things You Never Hear in Church 
        1. Hey! Its my turn to sit in the
        front pew. 
        2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed
        your sermon went 25 minutes over time. 
        3. Personally I find witnessing much
        more enjoyable than golf. 
        4. Ive decided to give our church
        the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. 
        5. I volunteer to be the permanent
        teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class. 
        6. Forget the denominational minimum
        salary, lets pay our pastor so he can live like we
        do. 
        7. I love it when we sing hymns
        Ive never heard before! 
        8. Since were all here,
        lets start the service early. 
        9. Pastor, wed like to send you
        to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas. 
        10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens
        my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign! 
         
        1910 
         
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        O. S. DURFEE GOES TO PRISON. 
          
        Gets Eight Years for
        Misusing U.S. Funds in Cuba. 
        O. S. Durfee, a former Carthage man,
        has been sentenced to eight years in prison for
        misappropriation of $4,400 of United States funds in
        Cuba. He was a civil engineer at work on the sewer system
        of Havana, and when found $99 short refused to pay, but
        demanded an investigation to prove his innocence. The
        investigation showed him to be $4,400 short in his
        accounts, and the sentence was passed. Durfee claimed to
        have been representing a corporation, or other parties,
        and the case is described in the city papers as a very
        pathetic one. 
        Durfee is well known by old timers
        here. He was once a Missouri Pacific surveyor here, also
        a woolen mill bookkeeper, and was married here. His
        present home is Matoon, Ill. 
        
            
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                Today's Feature New Golf Carts
                on Agenda. 
                The City Council Public
                Services Committee is recommending that the
                Council approve the lease/purchase for 50 new
                golf carts. The Council is scheduled to meet for
                its regular meeting tomorrow evening. 
                According to minutes of the
                Committee meeting it was explained that the low
                bid would be Yamaha if they could be purchased
                before January 1. If not, then the low bid would
                be the Club Car OS. Club Car, in their proposal,
                had also offered a range/utility vehicle and a
                self contained beverage vehicle at no charge.
                Even though these were used vehicles they have
                value and would actually allow use of two carts
                that are normally used for the range or
                marshalling. This was not asked for in the bid
                request, it was just offered as part of their
                bid. Park Director Alan Bull felt the City should
                look at the another Club Car bid that included
                the Precedence car. Mr. Bull and Golf Course
                Manager Mark Peterson both felt the City would
                get "more bang for the buck" with this
                car. Their research found that the trade-in value
                of these runs from $100 to $200 more per car. Mr.
                Bull said the City could purchase the better car
                and the yearly payments would be lower than the
                last lease purchase on the trade in cars. 
                Committee member Lee Carlson
                moved to recommend the Council approve the
                purchase of fifty Precedence golf cars from Clear
                Creek Vehicles in the amount of $105,675.00.
                Motion carried with member Charlie Bastin voting
                no. 
                The committee also voted to
                recommend a lease/purchase agreement. There were
                six bids with UMB Bank being the low bidder at 3%
                interest and fees not to exceed $25.00.  
                The motion carried with Bastin
                abstaining. 
                 
                 
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                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    Ive never had one of
                    those ant farms. You know, the little plastic
                    jobs with a green top and base. Ya fill it up
                    with dirt and throw in a handful of ants and
                    watch em go. 
                    I suppose most folks have
                    an aversion to insects crawlin round
                    anywhere in their house, let alone out on the
                    coffee table or a book shelf. 
                    Ive spent more time
                    than Id probly care to admit
                    watchin ants though. I never did figure
                    out where they were all goin in such a
                    hurry. 
                    I suppose its like
                    the guy on Laugh In used to say, "I like
                    dogs better than fleas because ya dont
                    have to bend over so far to pet them." 
                    I bet a rolly-polly farm or
                    a tater bug farm would be a lot a fun too,
                    only a little slower paced than those hyper
                    ants. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly, 
                    Just Jake Talkin. 
                     
                 
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                Weekly
                Columns 
                Stringing Lights 
                Q: Every year, we string
                outdoor lights not just around the edge of the
                roof but around the backyard, trees, etc. This
                year I noticed that about half the lights I
                strung did not light up when I turned them on.
                The lights seem to stop working in the middle of
                the string. Whats going on? -- Buster in
                Altamonte Springs, Fla. 
                A: Grab some replacement bulbs
                (the same type and size, rated for outdoor
                lights) and start following the strings to the
                first bulb that isnt lit. Take a close look
                at the bulb -- if you can see a tiny dark spot in
                the middle or the glass is generally darker than
                that of nearby bulbs, youve probably
                located your burnt bulb. Another more telling
                clue is that the entire string beyond the bulb is
                also not lighting up. 
                The reason the string behind
                the burned-out bulb doesnt light is because
                in most Christmas light strings, the bulb
                assemblies act as individual fuses. When a bulb
                burns out -- the filament inside the glass
                breaks, preventing electricity from traveling
                along it -- the bulb acts as a circuit breaker of
                sorts and stops electricity from conducting all
                the way along the wire. 
                In newer strands, youll
                see the lights go out behind the burned-out bulb
                but work up to that point. Older light strands
                would completely break the circuit, meaning no
                lights would work -- and leading to much more
                tedious time spent searching for that elusive
                burnt bulb.  
                To replace, simply pop out the
                old bulb (you may need to unhook a small plastic
                latch at the base of the bulb receptacle to pop
                out the bulb assembly), being careful not to
                break the glass, and snap in a new bulb of the
                same type. Test the strand by plugging it in.
                Work your way along the strand and replace any
                other burned-out bulbs. 
                HOME TIP: Use only light
                strands rated for outdoor use on outside
                lighting. 
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