The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 2, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 117

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . First United Methodist Church 7th & Main will hold a Breakfast & Cookie Sale Saturday, Dec. 11th, 8am-Noon Breakfast $5, pancakes & ham or biscuits & sausage gravy. 358-2577

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Business Women of Missouri have Black Walnuts and Pecans for $9 a pound. Sales supports a Scholarship Program. 358-3505

today's laugh

I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time.

It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor, and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused ... told me I was crazy.

But last week, he finally went, and sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4 inch shorter than his right.

A quick bit of orthopedic surgery later, he was cured, and both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no longer leans.

"So," I said, "You didn’t believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg."

He just looked at me and said, ... "I stand corrected."

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


But Judge and Mrs. Montague Will Be

Given a Wedding Remembrance.

A surprise party planned for tonight on Judge and Mrs. E. J. Montague in celebration of their 40th wedding anniversary, which occurred a few days ago, has been declared off in accordance with a physician’s advice, on account of the serious sickness of the judge. The old settlers had planned the affair in order that the anniversary might not pass so quietly as the honored couple had anticipated.

A handsome and substantial array of wedding anniversary gifts will be delivered this evening by Mrs. Henrietta Harper, though Judge Montague is too sick to endure the excitement of the party originally planned. Among the many presents are a black suit of clothes and hat for Judge Montague, and a handsome black dress for Mrs. Montague.

  Today's Feature

Water District No. 1 Receives Grant.

The Missouri Department of Natural Resources has awarded Jasper County Public Water Supply District No. 1 a $500,000 grant to make improvements to its drinking water system.

The water district will use the grant to construct a well and a 500,000 gallon elevated storage tank. The project is estimated to cost $1 million and is expected to be completed in May of 2011.

The department sold $50 million in bonds in November 2007. The sale of the bonds allows the department to provide the district with grant funds to support the Clean Water Initiative for water and wastewater improvements. The Department of Natural Resources’ Water Protection Program will administer the grant funds and is committed to working closely with communities to assist with funding efforts that support water and wastewater infrastructure improvement projects and provide a financial savings.

For more information, contact the department’s Water Protection Program, P.O. Box 176, Jefferson City, MO 65102-0176 or 800-361-4827 or 573-751-1192 or visit the website at


By Monte Dutton

Johnson Is Still

King of the Road

HOMESTEAD, Fla. -- Jimmie Johnson has a familiar face. He has turned the Chase for the Sprint Cup into what seems to be a perpetual case of "deja vu all over again."

By finishing second in the final race of the season, the Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway, Johnson managed to win the championship for a record fifth year in a row. No one else has won four straight.

In fairness, the outcome came down to the final race, and Johnson began it in second place, 15 points behind the ill-fated Denny Hamlin, whose Toyota finished a disappointing 14th. Johnson won the championship by 39 points over Hamlin and 41 over Kevin Harvick, who finished third in the final race, won by the fourth-place finisher in points, Carl Edwards.

Though hardly objective, crew chief Chad Knaus knows Johnson best.

"If you really sat back and looked at what this guy (Johnson) can do with a race car, you would be pretty impressed," said Knaus. "He’s been in some pretty precarious situations and driven through them. He’s put his nose in places that other people would not do and pulled it off.

"As a friend and as a teammate, I want to make sure that he gets what he deserves."

Johnson, from El Cajon, Calif., is uncomfortable tooting his own horn.

"Each year that I’ve been in the sport, I’ve become more comfortable with my role," he said. "The way I was raised in racing, I had to earn the right to say things, and I had to earn the right to have confidence and to act a certain way.

"I’ve accomplished so much more than I ever thought I would."

Hendrick Motorsports earned its 10th championship, equaling Petty Enterprises, which won seven with Richard Petty and three with his father, Lee. Hendrick has won five titles with Johnson, four with Jeff Gordon and one with Terry Labonte.

"I know how fortunate I am to have guys like Jimmie Johnson and Chad (Knaus)," said Hendrick. "I wouldn’t want to race against them, and I’ve been very fortunate through my career to have guys like Jeff Gordon and all of the great drivers that have been through our place.

"I always had hoped I could win a race, and then a championship, and survive through the sport and, you know, have sponsors and show up and be competitive. ... We are very appreciative, and I still can’t believe that we have won five in a row or that we have gotten to 10."

Just Jake Talkin'

I’ve always liked gadgets. Shucks, I just like the word gadget. Sounds kinda off the wall and fun. Most gadgets are based on some real great idea, but most just don’t seem ta be that practical.

I’m sure that little fishin’ rod you carry around in your pocket makes a lota sense to some folks. I don’t spend a lota time at the fishin’ hole, but I’ve never actually seen anyone usin’ one a the things.

Now a fly swatter, that’s a real practical gadget cause most anyone can use one effectively. If ya run into someone who can’t operate a fly swatter, keep your distance.

As a kid I put together a series of pulleys and cord to make my bed. ‘Sides nearly gettin’ strangled one night, it really didn’t save any time. It was just a fun gadget like most ya see.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

The engine on my ‘97 Pontiac Bonneville FELL OUT while I was driving 55 miles an hour yesterday! Luckily I am fine. Had it happened mere seconds sooner, I would have been in a lake, as my steering and brakes were rendered useless.

So, how could this happen? I heard a loud CLUNK first, and thought I ran over the rearview mirror I saw a round black thing bouncing on the road.

Have you ever heard of this happening? I thought stuff like this only happened in cartoon. Then again, it would not be so inaccurate to say my life is like one big cartoon, I’ll save that for Dr. Phil. - Robyn

Ray: Did the Check Engine light come on? Finally, a good use for that light!

Tom: I don’t think the engine fell out, Robyn. But it could have fallen down.

Ray: You really can’t run over the engine and see it bouncing down the road behind you. It’s too massive. The car wouldn’t be able to go over it. The car would have to flip over it in order to separate itself from the engine.

Tom: Here’s what probably happened. The engine and transmission are held in a cradle, or sub-frame, that’s bolted to the chassis of the car. For some reason, that cradle failed.

Ray: And when the engine and transmission assembly dropped down, it probably tore out the power steering lines, stalled the engine (which killed the power brakes), and the roadway probably sheared off the oil pan, which is a black thing that could have bee rounded off in the process, and then bounced down the road

Tom: Well, it’s all oil under the bridge now, Robyn. But that’s our best guess. Glad to hear you pulled through OK.

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