Skinny people irritate
me. Especially when they say things like, "You know,
sometimes I just forget to eat." Now Ive
forgotten my address, my mothers maiden name, and
my keys. But Ive never forgotten to eat. You have
to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
One day, a man was walking along the
beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being
one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his
surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For releasing
me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,"
said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But
theres a catch," the Genie continued.
"What catch?" asked the man,
eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied,
"For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world
will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."
"Hey, I can live with that! No
problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?"
"Well, Ive always wanted a
Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the
"Now, every lawyer in the world
has been given TWO Ferraris," said the Genie.
"What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million
dollars..." replied the man, and POOF! One million
dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every lawyer in the world is
TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the
"Well, thats okay, as long
as Ive got MY million," replied the man.
"And what is your final
wish?" asked the Genie.
The man thought long and hard, and
finally said, "Well, you know, Ive always
wanted to donate a kidney...."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Matrimonial club and one invited
guest, Mr. Tom Franks, of Wichta, spent a most enjoyable
evening with Mr. and Mrs. Franklin Greenwood last night.
After a splendid dinner at 7
oclock, of which quail was a feature, bid euchre
was indulged in for a couple of hours, the ribbons being
won by A. A. Ramsay and Mrs. John McMillan.
Partners for dinner were selected by
each lady writing on a card the thing for which she was
most thankful. These were shuffled and passed to the
gentlemen, who each took one, and so aptly was the
characteristic thankfulness expressed by each that the
gentlemen had no trouble in picking the partners they had
After cards a lively half hour was
spent with music and dancing. The club will be
entertained next week by Capt. and Mrs. John McMillan.
The City Council Public Safety
Committee is scheduled to meet this evening at
the Police Department at 6:30 P.M.
The agenda includes a request
by Hunter Whorton to use a portion of the old
airport runway for go cart races.
The agenda also includes a
recommendation by the Fire Department to accept
bids for new fire hose and a donation from
Butterball of haz-mat equipment.
Also scheduled for discussion
is a donation from Coachlight RV of $2,500 toward
a firefighter memorial contingent upon obtaining
a matching fund donation.
The Police Department portion
of the agenda includes discussing changing
ordinance 23.169 which deals with emergency
vehicles and a sealed bid review for phones and
carpet for the police station.
The agenda, for the first time
in several months, does not include discussion of
an ordinance to charge per incident for emergency
services by the Fire Department for services
provided/rendered for the Carthage Fire
Like ta take the
opportunity to thank all the various
businesses that allow the Mornin
Mail on their counter each mornin.
Without those locations as distribution
points, most wouldnt get the chance to
keep up with the goins on here in
This is our 19th Christmas
with the Mornin Mail. As you saw
in Fridays insert, merchants are in the
Christmas spirit. Be sure to let em
know ya saw their message in the Mail.
Course we also have
ta thank those who sponsor the Mail
throughout the year. The support of local
merchants provide this service to the
community. Be sure and thank them for their
We here at the Mail wish ya
all a safe and happy holiday season.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Cleaning Mold Off
Q: My South Florida house has a
white stucco exterior thats in good
condition, with no cracks or holes. But the base
of the walls has greenish-brown streaks that
Im not sure is mold or just left by dirt
and leaves (the sand splashes up during heavy
rainstorms). How can I remove this? -- Diego S.,
Deerfield Beach, Fla.
A: Some do-it-yourself
instructions will tell you to use a pressure
washer to clean a homes exterior, but avoid
doing this with stucco or similar masonry unless
youre sure the material wont crumble
under a high pressure stream.
Instead, test wash a section of
the wall. Rinse with a garden hose (you can use a
sprayer attachment to assist) and then scrub with
a nylon brush dipped in a mixture of 2 gallons
warm water and 1/2 cup liquid dish soap. You can
add a 1/2 cup of Borax to this if you like, but
wear rubber gloves if you touch the solution at
this point. Rinse the section to see if this
simple wash helps.
If this doesnt work,
trisodium phosphate (available at
home-improvement stores near the paint section)
can be tried. TSP is stronger than common
Once youve found a
cleaning solution that works well to remove the
streaks, scrub the walls starting at the top and
working your way down. Rinse frequently so the
cleaning solution doesnt dry on the wall.
When complete, leave the stucco
alone to dry thoroughly. This can take a few
days, so avoid doing any painting or stucco
repairs until then.
HOME TIP: Small cracks or chips
in exterior stucco can be patched using flexible
concrete caulk; just overfill the crack and
smooth away excess -- feathering the edges out --
let dry and paint to match.
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