| today's
        laugh Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant,
        discussing whether or not there was a difference between
        misfortune and disaster. "There is most certainly a
        difference," said one. "If the cook suddenly
        died and we couldnt have our dinner that would be a
        misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other
        hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink
        in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __
        but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a
        misfortune   The lion tamer led his young apprentice
        into the cage. "The first thing to remember,"
        said the older man, "is that if a lion jumps at you,
        throw something at it." "And what do I do if theres
        nothing to throw?" The lion tamer said, "If a lion
        jumps at you __ there will be."   A man walks into a bar with his pet
        alligator. He asks the bartender, "Do you serve
        lawyers here?" "Yes, we do!" "Good. Give me a beer, and
        Ill have a lawyer for my alligator."   Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his
        annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor
        came out and said to Rose, "I dont like the
        way he looks." "Neither do I," she said.
        "But hes handy around the house."   All generalizations are false,
        including this one.   I have friends who swear they dream in
        color; I say its just a pigment of their
        imagination.   Circular Definition: see Definition,
        Circular.   What has four legs and an arm? A happy
        pit bull. 
 1910 INTERESTING MELANGE.
 A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
 Visitors
        from New York State. R. J. Tilton and wife of Arcade, N. Y.,
        arrived this morning for a visit with Mr. and Mrs. Wm.
        Perry, of whom they are relatives. Mr. Tilton has been
        conducting a department store at Arcade, but he has just
        sold it and he and his wife are now on their way to
        California for an extended sojourn for health and
        pleasure. When they left New York 48 hours ago,
        snow was two feet deep on the ground. Three weeks ago
        there was a four foot snow, blocking trains for hours.
        They find the contrast in Carthage very marked. Prosperity Made
        Him Work. John Blair has been struck by the wave
        of prosperity in an unusual way. He had a water meter to
        repair and failing to find an available workman, Mr.
        Blair went to work with a pick and shovel and did the job
        himself. 
            
                |  | Today's Feature Higher Level of
                Service. The City Council agenda for
                this evening includes the first reading of an
                Ordinance authorizing a special use pennit to
                Jasper County for a Communications Tower to be
                located at Jasper County Jail in the City of
                Carthage, Jasper County, Missouri. "There are several reasons
                why we decided to build a new tower" states
                Lt. Matt Stoller of the Jasper County
                Sheriffs Department in a letter to the
                Planning, Zoning and Historic Preservation
                Commission, "and why we chose the height of
                two hundred fifty feet. In addition to various
                issues, a taller tower will allow us to reach the
                Atlas facility without having to bounce signals
                off of the Highway Patrol tower. It will allow us
                to use a single set of wireless radios that
                operate on a licensed frequency which will
                eliminate the possiblility of interference from
                eCarthages internet services. "The additional height is
                also necessary for us to go over the top of
                Schreibers new plant. "If allowed to finish
                construction, the Jasper County Sheriffs Office
                will be able to provide a higher level of
                service" 
 
 |  
                |  | Just Jake
                Talkin' Mornin',
 
                    Ive got this theory
                    that there is only a certain amount of cold
                    virus in any particular area. Its about
                    enough to keep about half the population
                    sniffin and sneezin at any one
                    time. Thats why some folks have it and
                    some dont.  When the haves build
                    up some resistance, the virus jumps to the
                    have-nots. After a few days, the process
                    repeats itself. Course there is no
                    scientific knowledge that supports this
                    theory, just general observation. The system
                    works well on many levels. For one, when the
                    have/have-nots are spouses, its a great
                    opportunity for payback, returning the same
                    level of compassion (or lack of) that was
                    shown when you were the have. If youre
                    one of the luck have-nots, dont burn
                    any bridges. Your turn is comin. This is some fact, but
                    mostly, Just Jake Talkin. 
 |  
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                Carthage Printing | 
 Weekly
                Columns To Your Good Health By Paul G. Donohue,
                M.D. The
                Trickle Down of Postnasal Drip DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have the
                worst case of postnasal drip, and its
                driving me crazy. I have a never-ending
                "ahem, ahem, ahem" throat-clearing.
                Phlegm is constantly in the back of my throat.
                Sometimes I clear my throat a thousand times a
                day. Two-thirds of my garbage is used tissues.
                What can be done? -- J.B. ANSWER: I apologize for
                condensing your letter. I got the idea, and I
                believe readers will too. Three or four conditions
                account for most postnasal dripping. One is
                allergies. Youve seen an allergist, and the
                only allergic reaction you demonstrated was to
                dust mites. Can you leave your home for a week or
                so -- visit a relative? If dust mites are the
                cause, your symptoms should subside in a new
                environment. Vasomotor rhinitis is second on
                the list of drip causes. Its a more-or-less
                permanent dilation of blood vessels in the nose,
                and those dilated vessels leak fluid.
                Throat-clearing is part of the picture. Sinusitis is another important
                cause. An infected sinus pours out thick mucus
                that drips into the back of the throat. Chronic
                sinusitis is best left to the treatment of an
                ear, nose and throat doctor. Nasal polyps provoke
                mucus production and dripping. An ENT doctor is
                equipped to deal with them, should they be found. Medicines -- beta blockers,
                Catapres for high blood pressure, aspirin and
                NSAIDs -- are examples of drugs that cause the
                nose to leak fluid down into the throat. Let me provide some general
                treatments that help most of these causes. You
                must stop clearing your throat. Sucking on throat
                lozenges or frequently sipping from a cup of hot
                tea with some honey in it will clear mucus from
                your throat and stop the irritation that
                throat-clearing causes. Flush your nose with a
                saltwater solution three times a day, one of
                those times being right before bedtime. You make
                the solution by adding one teaspoon of salt and
                half a teaspoon of baking soda to a quart of
                boiled water. Add the ingredients when the water
                is still hot. When the water cools, lean over a
                sink and flush each nostril gently with a bulb
                syringe, obtainable in drugstores. |  Copyright 1997-2010 by
        Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.    
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