The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, February 15, 2010 Volume XVIII, Number 166

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... The McCune Brooks Diabetes Support Group will meet Wed., Feb. 24 from 4 to 5 p.m. in the hospital Community Room.

today's laugh

A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics.

Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening’s lecture. The philosopher agreed and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, "Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?"

"That is an extremely simple question," he responded. "So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly what he will do."


As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.


The church janitor was also the organist, and had to watch his keys and pews.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Peculiar Accident.

Cyrus Dryden, the 8-year-old son of Mr. John Dryden, the prominent farmer living six miles southwest of Jasper, met with a peculiar accident yesterday. He was out in the field where the men were hauling hay and amused himself by running under the wagon. His father cautioned him to be careful, but he failed to heed it, and while Mr. Dryden was busy at work, the little fellow went under the wagon and climbed onto the running gears and went to sleep. When the horses started up, the sleeping youngster was jolted off and the wheel ran over his body across the hips. His father heard him scream and hastened to where he lay. The boy got up and started to walk, but fell limp upon the ground. He was carried into the house and it was feared that he was dead. Dr. Gooding was summoned and he found that unless the lad had received internal injuries he was not seriously hurt.

  Today's Feature

New Twist to Write-In Question.

The fact that Ward 2 has no official candidate for City Council has election officials honing their knowledge as to how to handle the possibility of a write-in candidate.

The initial indication was that if no one files, any person that is qualified to be a candidate could be elected as a write-in candidate. Any qualified voter in the Second Ward could write in a name and that person would be officially elected, even if the person did not want to serve the post. They would not have to accept the position.

The Morinin’ Mail has pursued the question and found that a qualified candidate can still file as a write-in candidate up until the second Friday before the election. The initial interpretation of that fact is that if someone actually wants to fill the office, they can file and other write-in’s would not be counted unless they had also filed as a write-in. If no write-in candidates are forthcoming, the Mayor would appoint the seat with the Council’s approval.

The Jasper County Courthouse was closed on Friday, so confirmation of this interpretation is pending.

Just Jake Talkin'

My uncle thinks that there should be some way ta install a large, spring powered flywheel in a car. He figures it would work somethin’ like a clock, ya wind it up and it provides a constant, clean, inexpensive power. I suppose if it was positioned right, it would also act as a gyroscope to keep the vehicle from turnin’ over easily.

There would no doubt be some technical difficulties to be overcome, but the idea has grabbed my thoughts from time to time.

‘Course momentum is not limited to the strict physical sciences, it seems to be a critical part of sports events, wars, and the political arena. Some might argue that momentum in these cases should actually be called luck, but the force is real none the less.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing Weekly Columns


By Samantha Mazzotta

Stains Mar Plastic Lawn Furniture

Q: I have some plastic lawn furniture that has a few stains on it. Some look like grass or mud stains, while on a couple of chairs there are burn marks from where some of my friend’s cigarettes accidentally touched the chair legs. Can I get rid of these stains and marks, or should I just replace the whole set? -- Terri in San Diego

A: Whether to fix or to replace the furniture depends on a few factors. If new lawn furniture isn’t in your budget and the chairs are structurally sound, then consider minor repairs and cleaning. If, however, you’re looking for a reason to redecorate the back patio, start looking around for replacements.

Some types of plastic furniture are built so that parts can be replaced. Check the manufacturer’s Web site or with outdoor furniture specialty stores to see if parts are available for your model.

Cigarette burns are a tough repair, as they mar the plastic and leave a permanent scorch mark. You may be able to smooth the gouge away by pressing a warm (not hot) iron -- one you don’t intend to use on clothes anymore -- against the area for a few seconds and then smoothing the gouge with a putty knife, repeating until the area is fairly smooth.

Cleaning stains from the furniture is problematic. Scrubbing plastic isn’t advised because you can damage the surface, and using chemicals -- even bleach, vinegar or lemon juice -- to try and remove the stain may be a problem, too. If the stains won’t come out with plain old dishwashing soap and warm water, they may be permanent.

Some plastic furniture owners solve this by repainting the furniture. If you take this road, look for a paint specifically designed for smooth plastic or plastic furniture (other paints tend to flake off) and repaint in a well-ventilated area.

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