philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who
listened in awe at every speech while his boss would
easily answer questions about morality and ethics.
Then one day the driver approached the
philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles
for the evenings lecture. The philosopher agreed
and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably
well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a
woman in the back asked, "Is the epistemological
view of the universe still valid in an existentialist
"That is an extremely simple
question," he responded. "So simple, in fact,
that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly
what he will do."
As you exit the plane, please make sure
to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind
will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses.
The church janitor was also the
organist, and had to watch his keys and pews.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Peculiar Accident.
Cyrus Dryden, the 8-year-old son of Mr.
John Dryden, the prominent farmer living six miles
southwest of Jasper, met with a peculiar accident
yesterday. He was out in the field where the men were
hauling hay and amused himself by running under the
wagon. His father cautioned him to be careful, but he
failed to heed it, and while Mr. Dryden was busy at work,
the little fellow went under the wagon and climbed onto
the running gears and went to sleep. When the horses
started up, the sleeping youngster was jolted off and the
wheel ran over his body across the hips. His father heard
him scream and hastened to where he lay. The boy got up
and started to walk, but fell limp upon the ground. He
was carried into the house and it was feared that he was
dead. Dr. Gooding was summoned and he found that unless
the lad had received internal injuries he was not
New Twist to
The fact that Ward 2 has no
official candidate for City Council has election
officials honing their knowledge as to how to
handle the possibility of a write-in candidate.
The initial indication was that
if no one files, any person that is qualified to
be a candidate could be elected as a write-in
candidate. Any qualified voter in the Second Ward
could write in a name and that person would be
officially elected, even if the person did not
want to serve the post. They would not have to
accept the position.
The Morinin Mail
has pursued the question and found that a
qualified candidate can still file as a write-in
candidate up until the second Friday before the
election. The initial interpretation of that fact
is that if someone actually wants to fill the
office, they can file and other write-ins
would not be counted unless they had also filed
as a write-in. If no write-in candidates are
forthcoming, the Mayor would appoint the seat
with the Councils approval.
The Jasper County Courthouse
was closed on Friday, so confirmation of this
interpretation is pending.
My uncle thinks that there
should be some way ta install a large, spring
powered flywheel in a car. He figures it
would work somethin like a clock, ya
wind it up and it provides a constant, clean,
inexpensive power. I suppose if it was
positioned right, it would also act as a
gyroscope to keep the vehicle from
turnin over easily.
There would no doubt be
some technical difficulties to be overcome,
but the idea has grabbed my thoughts from
time to time.
Course momentum is
not limited to the strict physical sciences,
it seems to be a critical part of sports
events, wars, and the political arena. Some
might argue that momentum in these cases
should actually be called luck, but the force
is real none the less.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Stains Mar Plastic
Q: I have some plastic lawn
furniture that has a few stains on it. Some look
like grass or mud stains, while on a couple of
chairs there are burn marks from where some of my
friends cigarettes accidentally touched the
chair legs. Can I get rid of these stains and
marks, or should I just replace the whole set? --
Terri in San Diego
A: Whether to fix or to replace
the furniture depends on a few factors. If new
lawn furniture isnt in your budget and the
chairs are structurally sound, then consider
minor repairs and cleaning. If, however,
youre looking for a reason to redecorate
the back patio, start looking around for
Some types of plastic furniture
are built so that parts can be replaced. Check
the manufacturers Web site or with outdoor
furniture specialty stores to see if parts are
available for your model.
Cigarette burns are a tough
repair, as they mar the plastic and leave a
permanent scorch mark. You may be able to smooth
the gouge away by pressing a warm (not hot) iron
-- one you dont intend to use on clothes
anymore -- against the area for a few seconds and
then smoothing the gouge with a putty knife,
repeating until the area is fairly smooth.
Cleaning stains from the
furniture is problematic. Scrubbing plastic
isnt advised because you can damage the
surface, and using chemicals -- even bleach,
vinegar or lemon juice -- to try and remove the
stain may be a problem, too. If the stains
wont come out with plain old dishwashing
soap and warm water, they may be permanent.
Some plastic furniture owners
solve this by repainting the furniture. If you
take this road, look for a paint specifically
designed for smooth plastic or plastic furniture
(other paints tend to flake off) and repaint in a
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