true that girls are inclined to marry men like their
fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so
much at weddings.
Man calls home. Maid answers phone. He
says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says,
"No, shes upstairs in bed with her
boyfriend." Hes maid--says, "Ok, go to
the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and
kill them both." Being the loyal maid, she says,
"Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone
and says, "Ok, theyre both dead. What should I
do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in
the pool, and Ill take care of them when I get
home." She says, "We dont have a
pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"
Men and nations behave wisely once they
have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You
find the present tense and the past perfect.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SHELTON FAMILY POISONED.
Mistook Pokeberry Root for Horseradish
- Now Out of Danger.
Three persons were seriously poisoned
in Carthage yesterday by eating pokeroot which they
thought to be horseradish. They were George Shelton, of
the livery firm of Shelton & Myer, his
brother-in-law, Chas. Myer, and his mother-in-law, Mrs.
Last Saturday Grace Shelton, aged about
14 years, dug some roots from the garden which she
thought to be horseradish but which were in reality
pokeberry root. Theses Mrs. Shelton grated and prepared
as horseradish and Sunday Miss Grace ate some of the
preparation at supper. She became quite ill but it was
supposed that it was only a bilious attack and nothing
more was thought of it.
GFWC Womens Service
League of Carthage hosts the 3rd Annual Saturday
Night Idol competition, a fundraiser for
Crosslines Ministries of Carthage. The Grand
Prize winner will receive $300 and a television
appearance. Contestant registration will be held
at Fairview Christian Church, 2320 S. Grand,
Carthage (next to Wendys) on Saturday
February 20 from 10 am to 1 pm and on Saturday,
February 27 from 3 to 5 pm. The contestant entry
fee is $20. Contestants must be 13 or older. To
register online or download a registration form,
Saturday Night Idol Preliminary
competition will be held at Fairview Christian
Church on Saturday, February 27 beginning at 6:00
p.m. The emcee will be Randy Brooks of KIX
102.5s Morning Show.
Finals competition will take
place on Saturday, March 6 beginning at 6:00 pm
at Fairview Christian Church. Popular local
entertainer, Duke Mason, will be the Master of
Ceremonies. General admission tickets for each
show are $5 for adults and $3 for children 10 and
under. Audience participation is encouraged on
the Finals evening, as the winner will be
determined by audience votes. Bring 5 or more
canned goods to donate to Crosslines and receive
one extra ballot. A silent auction is also being
offered, with all proceeds to benefit Crosslines.
GFWC Womens Service
League of Carthage has supported local charities
and community organizations through the years by
raising money with various fundraisers. This year
the group has chosen to support Crosslines
Ministries of Carthage. Crosslines is a volunteer
organization that provides clothing, food, and
emergency financial assistance to families in
need in the Carthage area. Crosslines is funded
by donations from churches, individuals,
businesses and organizations like Womens
For more information about
Saturday Night Idol, visit
http://snidol.tripod.com or call 417.388.2867.
I played tourist last
weekend. You know, drive around in an
out-of-state community, lookin here and
there. Slowin down to nearly a stop at
some interest or another. Im sure the
locals got a kick out of it.
I dont know if the
community I was surveyin gets many
tourists, but havin a Missouri tag was
all I needed. Sometimes I wonder if folks
such as myself take advantage of the
"tourist" badge to do things they
wouldnt think of in their own
community. Parkin on the wrong side of
the street, stoppin in the middle of an
intersection to read the street signs, that
I suppose thats part
a the fun in bein a tourist. Ya know
that if ya tic someone off, youll never
see em again anyway. I did try ta pull
over if I saw a big line a traffic behind my
creepin auto. They all made real
friendly gestures as they passed me by.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
"The first time we
painted the walls in our house, one of us had
stepped in some paint while wearing socks and,
not realizing it, had tracked some paint on the
carpet. Since then, we always go barefoot when
painting, since we can feel it if we step in
paint and can clean it off before it gets tracked
around the house." -- M.M. in Florida
"If you have
leftover bits of fabric that is pretty or still
useful, save it in a box or bag for other
projects. You can use fun fabric scraps to patch
kids clothes or for doll clothing. They
also can be used to make sachets or for gift
decoration. Quilters might appreciate these
scraps for their projects." -- E.D. in
"When threading a
needle, spray the end of the thread with
hairspray to make it stiffer and to hold the
fibers together." -- O.A. in New Mexico
Its important to
clean your exterior windows and screens at least
yearly, and many people do this in the spring.
Heres a good way to make putting those
clean screens back up a little easier. As you
remove them, number each one on the inside with a
permanent marker. Number each window casing with
the same number as well. Do this in a discreet
place. When the screens are ready, youll
know instantly which window to return them to.
Unlined leather gloves
can be easily washed. Just put them on and wash
your gloved hands with a little warm water and
mild detergent. Rinse and blot, then smooth into
shape to dry. Lay on a flat towel to dry,
flipping several times during the drying process.
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.