| today's
laugh Remarks for
High Stress Days
1. You - Off my planet
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box
now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of
makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will
be blamed.
5. I ‘m not crazy, I’ve just
been in a very bad mood for over 30 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
9. Sarcasm is just one more service we
offer.
10. Whatever kind of look you were
going for, you missed.
11. I’m just working here until a
good fast-food job opens up.
12. I’m trying to imagine you with
a personality.
13. Stress is when you wake up
screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep.
14. I can’t remember if I’m
the good twin or the evil one.
15. I just want revenge. Is that so
wrong?
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Mrs. Ewing on the Stand.
Maryville, Mo.,
April 15 - Mrs. Ida Ewing who killed her sister-in-law,
Mrs. Lizzie Ewing, at Hopkins last September, took the
stand yesterday in her own defense. She admits having
killed Lizzie, but says they got into a fight over their
children and both got their revolvers. She fired first
and the first shot proved fatal.
The
Darnells Held.
Tobe and James
Darnell were taken down to Webb City yesterday for their
preliminary examination on a charge of burglarizing the
Pittsburg and Gulf Depot at Joplin about ten days ago.
The two together with another who was under arrest on the
same charge took a change of venue to Webb City. The
third man was discharged, but Jim and Tobe were bound
over to await the action of the grand jury and came back
to jail this morning in default of $500 bond.
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Today's Feature Council Enters
Digital Age.
The Carthage City Council is
scheduled to experience first hand the digital
presentation of documents during their regular
meeting tomorrow evening.
City Clerk Lynn Campbell says
that Tuesday’s meeting will mark the
beginning of what they hope will be a
"paperless" transfer of information to
City Council members.
Two projectors have been
installed in Council chambers and documents will
be shown during the meeting.
A traditional hard copy of the
documents will be passed out this week, but after
that, according to Campbell, Council members will
be emailed their packets. Media outlets will also
receive a full copy of the packet via email.
The projectors, along with
various upgrades to City Hall’s computer
system, were part of a package approved by the
Council last month. The cost of the initial
upgrade and equipment was approximately $15,000.
The Council had originally also intended to buy
net books for the Council and staff, but the
project went over the budgeted amount and was
scaled back.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
If ya haven’t noticed,
there are devices controllin’ some of
the stop lights in the City. Sensors in the
street tell the lights when a vehicle is
waitin’ so as ta keep things
movin’. The problem is if ya nose out a
little too far, the sensor figures ya ran a
red light. Ya know this has happened if you
sit for five minutes or so waitin’ for
the light to change and nothin’ happens.
If you’re lucky, someone will pull up
behind ya and triggers the signal. Otherwise
ya have to back up over the sensor to get it
to turn ya loose.
The other option,
tryin’ to get into traffic through a red
light, is not advised. I understand this is
the preferred option by many frustrated
motorists who haven’t yet figured out
the system. The lights at WalMart and by
Sonic seem to fool folks the most. Ya might
be sure someone isn’t behind ya before
attemptin’ the backup option.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Secure Cup
Hooks
Q: My roommate and I put those
screw-in cup hooks underneath one of our kitchen
cabinets, and the first time we hung coffee mugs
from them, the hooks pulled right out of the wood
and the cups all smashed. How do you set hooks so
they don’t fall out. Also, how can we fix
the damage to the cabinet bottom before the
landlord sees it? -- Katie J., via email
A: From your description, the
cabinet bottom is most likely a lightweight wood,
maybe particle board, and perhaps a bit old and
slightly deteriorated. Cup-hook screws are
similar to wood screws, with sharp points and
slightly wider screws in order to
"bite" securely into the wood. However,
between the particle board and heavy mugs, the
screws just didn’t have enough to hold onto.
Try two things next time:
larger hooks and a solid piece of wood. Most
cabinets have a brace along the bottom made of
solid wood. Pre-drill a hole that is smaller in
diameter than the diameter of the hook screw,
then screw the hook into place.
Another method, if your cups
must absolutely hang in a certain place and
direction, is to add support to the particle
board. Again, do this by selecting larger hooks
with longer screws. Purchase a strip of solid
wood at least one-half inch thick and about 2
inches longer than the planned line of cup hooks.
Put this strip inside the cabinet on the
"top side" of the base. Measure the
distance from the middle of the wood strip to the
outside edge of the cabinet. Mark this same
distance on the underside of the cabinet (this
will help you locate the screws correctly). Mark
the spot where you want each hook. Last, tack
down the wood strip with a dot of wood or white
glue on either end, just so it doesn’t slide
around.
Have a partner hold the wood
strip in place as you pre-drill the screw holes,
going through the cabinet base and into the strip
in one straight shot. Continue to support the
wood strip as you screw the hooks through the
base and into the wood strip.
This support strip will allow
you to hang most coffee mugs or other lightweight
items. I don’t recommend hanging heavy items
like pots and pans from the hooks, as the added
weight could bring the cabinet base down.
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