successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of
his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he
got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off
the door on the drivers side. The lawyer grabbed
his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a
policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask
any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.
His Lexus was now completely ruined and would never be
The officer shook his head in disgust
and disbelief. "I cant believe how
materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You
are so focused on your possessions that you dont
notice anything else."
"How can you say such a
thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Dont you
know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down?
It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the
lawyer. "Wheres my Rolex?"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
POWDER EXPLOSION AT
Newsboy Plant Heavily
Last Saturday Afternoon.
explosion occurred at the Newsboy plant near Duenweg
Saturday afternoon. A box of powder in the engine room
was left open and caught fire from a small fire started
near it accidentally by sparks from the picks that were
being sharpened near by. The hoisterman was the first to
discover the danger; and with a cry of alarm he ran out.
Two other men
working at the grindstone took to their heels, and none
too soon. A fearful explosion followed, tearing the house
and tramway all to pieces. The boiler was stripped of
casing and bands, and the hoister reduced to scraps.
Two men were in
the ground at the time, and were helped to the top by
Year End Humane
Carthage Humane Society
Director Tish Bentlage addressed the City Council
last Tuesday evening during the regular Council
meeting. She reported that the facility has seen
many improvements over the last year, thanks in
part from a grant of the Kent and Mary Steadley
"Last year 1814 animals
came through our doors," said Bentlage.
"Dogs and puppies made up the majority of
our population. Of the 1342 canines we received,
370 dogs and 257 puppies were given up by their
owners. A total of 163 cats also became homeless
when given up by owners for various
The City animal control officer
took 450 dogs and 197 kittens to the shelter that
were in violation of City animal control
ordinances. Many had collars but had no ID tags
according to Bentlage. Only 168 dogs and 10 cats
were returned to their owners.
Bentlage reported that the
Society found homes for a total of 746 pets in
2009 and another 95 going to rescue groups. The
overall adoption rate was 39%.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Gee Whiz, I
Know All These Guys
Ive been around
("round, round, get around, I get
On a recent Saturday night, the
National Motorsports Press Association inducted
four into its Hall of Fame, and I know every one
of them. In the past, there were always the
homages to antiquity, the long-overdue elections
of heretofore overlooked icons. Now that Roger
Penske, Jack Roush, Rusty Wallace and Robert
Yates have joined the NMPA Hall, I guess it gives
me some standing in the antiquity category, too.
I dont have much in the
way of outlandish anecdotes to pass along in
regard to Penske. Alone of the four, my
interaction with Roger has always been somewhat
formal. I like him. I admire him. But thats
Roush? When his name comes up,
I often think of the Busch brothers, both of whom
began racing within his vast domain and both of
whom were "vocabularically affected" by
the verbose Mr. Roush, who has seldom seen a word
of more than three syllables that he didnt
adopt. The Busch brothers, particularly when they
were younger, were so impressed by Roushs
"big words" that they tried to emulate
him, or thats always been my theory.
The difference, of course, is
that Jack tends to know what those words mean,
and neither Kurt nor Kyle generally does.
Kurts linguistic offenses would rank him
somewhere close to Norm Crosby or Bo Dietl, as he
has been known to "circumference the
track" and be proud of "how weve
been able to solidify the solidity of our
team." Kyle? Less so, but he has also
contributed to mild unrest in the tomb of Noah
Rusty Wallace? The Emperor of
Exaggeration. Hes always been a walking,
talking racing story in need of fact checking.
Rusty doesnt intentionally stretch the
truth; he just thinks optimistically. The press
conference had barely started when Rusty
matter-of-factly said he had been in Canada four
hours earlier. Pretty fast plane. Possible -- but
when one factors in all the time needed before
and after one actually climbs into the plane,
even a private plane -- unlikely. By the way,
Im fairly sure someone couldve made a
killing in Vegas betting on Rusty giving the
evenings shortest speech. That was a bigger
upset than Appalachian State over Michigan.
The longest speech was Jeff
Hammonds name-dropping introduction of
Roush, for whom he once worked for, oh, 10
minutes or so. I have no idea how that idea
Penske was all grace and
humility. Roush and Yates rambled. Rusty was
probably the MVP of the evening.
Saw the guy on PBS the
other day who uses household stuff to keep
the yard and garden in good health. He says
that sprayin the yard with diluted dish
washin liquid will give bugs the runs
and theyll go to the neighbors yard.
He says sprayin beer
and soda pop will make the yard
clippins dissolve easier and get the
yard breathin better. He also says
workin in the yard in golf shoes help
to break the surface so the yard breathes
Now I havent had the
opportunity to try any a these little bits of
wisdom as yet, and I dont have any golf
shoes. I do suspect that I have seen some
around town utilizin beer in some
fashion while doin lawn work however.
Ive often wondered how they kept those
golf greens lookin so good.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
Dear Tom and Ray:
I live in interior Alaska, and
it gets cold. How cold, you ask? Its been
-40 F for the past week or so. My husband and I
go back and forth as to whether to keep the
cars block heater plugged in all the time,
or whether to use a time and run it only some of
the time. Ive heard that too much heat is
bad for the oil. This morning I used the timer,
and my car decided it was too cold for the
transmission to engage. I was stuck. At - 45 F, I
dont have to go to work. At - 40F I do
(administrative policy). I want to use this as
leverage to get my husband to let me keep my car
plugged in more of the time. What do you think?
Ray: Id use the timer,
Christie - a timer that turns the block heater on
around Oct. 1 and turns it off around June 30.
Tom: In fact, you may want to
buy a trailer with a diesel generator bolted onto
it, so you can stay plugged in while you drive
Ray: When its that cold
out, just leave it plugged in all the time if
thats what the car needs. The only cost is
electricity. You wont do any harm to your
Tom: Right. When people talk
about heat being an enemy of motor oil,
therre talking about oil thats being
overworked under hard driving conditions - like
driving a car at high speeds for long distances
in the heat of the summer, or pulling a trailer
up the Rockies.
Ray: So for weeks like the one
you just had, you can run the block heater as
much as you need to. And when it gets so cold
that the block heater needs its own block heater
to get started, its time to move to San
Juan, Puerto Rico, Christie.
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