called the police station to report a robbery.
"Youll never believe what
happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the
doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate
glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the
jewelry and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed
and the truck pulled away."
The desk sergeant said, "Could you
tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an
Indian elephant or an African elephant?"
"Whats the difference?"
asked the jeweller.
"Well," said the sergeant, an
African elephant has great big ears and an Indian
elephant has little ears."
"Come to think of it, I
couldnt see his ears," said the jeweller.
"He had a stocking over his head."
Most of us can keep a secret. Its
the people we tell it to who cant.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
S.B. Griswolds wholesale and
retail grocery store on the south side of the square was
entered by burglars Sunday night. The thieves forced an
entrance by breaking out a glass in a rear window and
they had a wagon at the rear of the building to carry off
Nothing can be missed but a small box
containing 25 pennies which had been left lying on the
Although nothing else can be missed it
does not follow that nothing was taken as a wagon load of
groceries might be taken and never be missed.
John Tannehill who drives a delivery
team for Griswold first noticed the broken window this
morning. He is confident that it was done last night as
he was at the back of the store several times yesterday
and he then noticed nothing amiss.
The Carthage Police Department
was advised last Thursday that the Carthage R-9
Vocational School Building had been burglarized.
During the investigations pertinent evidence was
located which lead to possible suspects.
At approximately 9:15 PM the
suspects were located and brought to the police
department for questioning. During the interviews
a confession was obtained leading to the recovery
of $1014.85 and a Kodak camera.
Jasper County Warrants were
obtained for Philip Jordan Benet Neese, Andrew
Allen James Harper and Dakota Kindrick Ogden.
They were transported to the Jasper County
Sheriffs Department where they were turned
over the deputy on duty. The three suspects were
detained not being able to post bond.
Current Council member John
Studebaker filed as a Ward 3 candidate yesterday
afternoon. He will face Debra Carter in the only
contested race for City council so far. Ward 1
and Ward 4 still have no candidate.
I never have understood the
logic of those life time guarantees on light
bulbs. If ya look at the fine print on one I
saw, to get a new bulb, all ya have ta do is
send in two dollars and theyll send ya
a new bulb. And that for the ones that only
cost a buck fifty in the first place.
Some warranties arent
quite that bad, but I had one guy tell me
that the $30 one year muffler and the $49
lifetime muffler were the same, just the
warrantee was better. This guy was
bettin on a couple a things, either ya
wouldnt have the car by the time the
muffler went out, or by chance, the muffler
would last for longer than expected. If as
many as half of the lifetime types had to be
replaced, he still came out o.k. and had the
cash up front. Course there is a chance he
wont be in business for your lifetime.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin
HERES A TIP
Plastic shower curtains
make a wonderful dropcloth for under a highchair.
If your little darling is into flinging food,
its especially helpful for cleanup.
"Did you overdo it
on credit? Give yourself a cool-off
period by freezing your charge cards into a block
of ice. Now, when you want to buy something on
credit, you will have to go home to your freezer
to get the card and wait for it to thaw, buying
you time to really make the right decision. It
wont affect the card at all." -- A.L.
"If you get crayon
on wallpaper, try this trick: Hold a paper towel
or white cloth up to the crayon and iron over it
on the low setting. Or heat the crayon marks with
a hair dryer, then wipe off the wax." --
V.R. in Minnesota
Puzzles are a great
activity for sick children, since its quiet
and not physically taxing. To make a moveable
workspace right on the bed, use a large piece of
cardboard. Wrap a piece of fabric around it and
pin or duct tape it to make it tight. The puzzle
pieces will stay put on the fabric.
Heres a new twist
on scrambled eggs or omelets: Make them
rich-tasting by adding a spoonful of cream cheese
or heavy cream to the eggs when you beat them.
Or, make a standard omelet, but instead of
putting shredded cheese on the inside, spread a
tablespoon of cream cheese and fold around it.
Add chives to the top for a garnish.
Shine up those
patent-leather shoes with a dab of petroleum
jelly and buff with a soft cloth. You can use
this idea for patent-leather purses, too.
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.