A man went to his dentist because he feels
something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him
and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six
months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think
of is that about four months ago my wife made some
asparagus and put some stuff on it that was
delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now
put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables,
"Well," says the dentist,
"thats probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce
is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly
corrosive. Its eaten away your upper plate.
Ill make you a new plate, and this time use
chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies,
"Its simple. Everyone knows that theres
no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Married at Baxter
Chas. P. Wood and Miss Emily Valentine,
both well-known young people of this city, were united in
marriage on Sunday, at the home of the brides uncle
in Baxter Springs, Kansas. The license was procured at
Columbus, Kansas, and the marriage was quietly performed
and kept a secret for the reason that there was parental
objection to the wedding on both sides. It had been the
plan of the young people to keep their marriage a
profound secret for a year and then make it known
publicly, but it leaked out in spite of their plans. Mr.
Wood is a local reporter and well-known in Carthage,
being a high school graduate, a prominent member of the
Carthage Light Guard, and generally well liked by all
that know him. Miss Valentine is also a high school
graduate, having been a member of the same class with Mr.
Wood. She is a bright, pretty girl, and has a wide circle
Conservative Chair Removed.
Missouri Senate President Pro
Tem Charlie Shields is using strong arm tactics
to push the "Manufacturing Jobs Act" to
the Senate floor according to State Senator Chuck
"I guess he doesnt
like the way Im holding government
accountable," says Purgason whom Shields
removed from Chairmanship of the Government
Accountability and Fiscal Oversight Committee.
Purgason raised the ire of some
in Republican leadership by steadfastly refusing
to pass the "Manufacturing Jobs Act"
out of Committee.
Senator Purgason has been
openly against the union supported bill for which
Democratic Governor Jay Nixon convened the
Special Legislative Session.
Purgason says, "Pretending
that this bill is going to benefit Missouri is
foolish. Government should allow the economy to
grow the right way as proven in the Reagan years
with across the board tax cuts. We need to let
true free enterprise work and not play favorites.
Ford was absent from the
hearing and has given no promise to remain in
Missouri if the bill should pass. However unions
like the AFL-CIO, the United Auto Workers and
several others were heavily represented at the
hearing, and have been forcing the bill through
the House and Senate.
In the House, two
representatives were removed and replaced from
the Special Committee hearing the bill to ensure
that it came to the floor. Purgason said,
"The arm twisting must have been effective
after Pratt and Kraus were removed, because it
passed 15-1 out of Committee in the house. Some
in Republican leadership think its alright
to treat the elected representatives of the
people as puppets by simply removing anyone that
isnt willing to sell out their
Purgason was told by the Senate
Pro Tem to get the bill out of committee or lose
the chairmanship. If Purgason wouldnt
budge, leadership would then install a temporary
Chair to pass the bill and re-instate Purgason as
Chair once it was out of Committee.
"In this economy, the fact
that too many in Republican leadership are lying
and using the false promise of jobs as cover is
untenable. When a bill cant pass through
the safeguards of the process and threats
cant buy a Chairman, it is simply wrong to
remove them and disrespect our form of government
to make a deal. There is no point in being the
Chair of a Committee if you are controlled by
leadership and not your conscience."
The basic premise that the
natural order of things is ta be in chaos is
comforting at times. There are times however,
that I feel Im livin just a
little closer to nature than Id like. I
suppose the most we can hope for is
The example sometimes used
is a balloon filled with hellium. The gas is
flyin around inside the balloon
tryin to expand and get out into the
atmosphere. The balloon is the
controllin factor, bringin some
order to it all and providin
entertainment for a child.
Even in this situation,
there is always the random possibility that
some other kid will like insertin a pin
into the mix.
If ya want ta experience
chaos, try to explain to a three year old
where his toy disappeared to and the natural
order of random acts by the neighbors
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I would like
to call your attention to a question you answered
about emphysema. I think you should have
mentioned alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. It
would have been a good opportunity to bring this
condition to the publics attention. I have
it and was diagnosed at age 53, after having been
misdiagnosed for eight years. I have been on
Prolastin, which has stabilized my lung capacity.
While more doctors are aware of this condition,
there are some who are not. -- D.C.
ANSWER: Lungs come equipped
with their own janitorial crew. They inhale lots
of foreign debris, and they create trash in their
work of transferring oxygen into the blood and
carbon dioxide out of it. The cleanup crew is
trypsin, an enzyme. Trypsin, however, can go
overboard, so another enzyme, called alpha-1
antitrypsin, stops it from overdoing the trash
collection and destroying air sacs in the
process. Emphysema is destruction of those
delicate structures. Cigarette smoking is the No.
1 cause of emphysema, also known as one of the
chronic obstructive pulmonary diseases, COPD.
Symptoms of emphysema,
regardless of cause, include shortness of breath
with little physical exertion, cough and
increased sputum production.
The delay in your diagnosis of
alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency is par for the
course. On average, the diagnosis takes eight
years from the time a person first visits a
doctor for emphysema symptoms. This illness
should come to mind when a relatively young
person or a person who has never smoked develops
emphysema. A simple blood test for the level of
the antitrypsin enzyme can secure the diagnosis.
Treatment is the same as
treatment for smoking-caused emphysema. However,
there is an additional treatment for alpha-1
antitrypsin deficiency emphysema. Intravenous
infusions of the missing enzymes can benefit
those with the deficiency. Your Prolastin is one
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