"Id like the telephone number of the
"One moment, please. Im
sorry, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild."
"No, no. It isnt a person.
Its an organization. Its Theater Guild."
"I told you, sir, I have no
listing for a Theodore Guild."
"Not Theodore! Theater! The word
is theater! T-H-E-A-T-E-R!"
"That, sir, is not the way
Theodore is spelled."
"So who did you see before coming
to me?" asked the doctor.
"My General Practitioner."
"Your GP?" scoffed the
doctor. "What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of
useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Letter From Henry
Ed Murdock today received a letter from
Henry Rose who is in St. Margarets hospital in
Kansas City, Kansas, and who was operated upon for hip
joint disease by the head surgeon of the Union Pacific
railway. The letter does not refer to the operation
except to say that it lasted an hour and thirty-five
minutes but from the tone of the message it could not
have been other than a complete success. Mr. Rose speaks
feelingly of the kindness of the sisters and is evidently
in very good spirits. His many friends here will be glad
to know that the operation was successful and that the
popular barber will eventually recover.
The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt rheum, Fever sores, Tetter,
Chapped Hands, Chilblains, Corns and all skin eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay required. Price, 25
Stones Throw Dinner
Theatre will present Rodgers &
Hammersteins "Oklahoma". Set in a
Western Indian Territory just after the turn of
the century, the high-spirited rivalry between
the local farmers and cowboys provides the
colorful background against which Curly, a
handsome cowboy, and Laurey, a winsome farm girl,
play out their love story. Although the road to
true love never runs smooth, with these two
headstrong romantics holding the reins,
loves journey is as bumpy as a surrey ride
down a country road. That they will succeed in
making a new life together we have no doubt, and
that this new life will begin in a brand-new
state provides the ultimate climax to the
Friday & Saturday August
13-15 DESSERT ONLY performances- doors open at
7:00pm, show begins at 7:30pm.
Sunday August 15-Doors open at
1:30pm; show begins at 2:00pm.
August 19-22 and August 26-29,
times will be Thursday-Saturday doors open at
6:00pm, dinner at 6:30pm and show begins at
7:30pm. For Sunday performances, doors open at
12:30pm, dinner at 1:00pm with show beginning at
I see where theyre
sayin that usin a cell phone too
much makes ya prone to have ringin in
Another study says that
parents that spend a lotta time on facebook
or emailin or textin all the time
are takin quality time away from their
Who gets paid to come up
with this stuff? Doin anything in
excess can cause problems of some sort.
As Mark Twain said:
"First, girls, dont smoke--that
is, dont smoke to excess. I never smoke
to excess--that is, I smoke in moderation,
only one cigar at a time.
drink--that is, dont drink to excess.
Third, dont marry--I
mean, to excess."
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
All of the cheapest cars these
days seem to have drum brakes on the rear instead
of disc brakes. But drum brakes have more parts
than disc brakes, and are much harder to assemble
(I know from experience). Youd think that
would add assembly-line costs and that it would
be cheaper to put the better disc brakes on the
cheapo econo-cars. Whats up with that,
guys? What am I not understanding? - Barnaby
Tom: The missing element is the
parking brake, Barnaby.
Ray: Right. A drum brake also
can serve as a parking brake. So youre
essentially getting two for one.
Tom: Disc brakes make lousy
parking brakes. So if you put disc brakes on all
four wheels, you then have to add two additional,
separate drum brakes on the rear wheels to serve
as parking brakes.
Ray: Or you have to add a very
expensive, and failure-prone, component to the
rear disc-brake calipers to make them work as
Tom: But drum brakes naturally
make good parking brakes, because they have a
binding, or self-wrapping, action (thats
also what makes them lock up, and makes them less
desirable than disc brakes for stopping the car.
Ray: So if you sue drum brakes
in the rear to stop the car, you already have
your parking brake, and you save money that way.
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