The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 27

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . There will be a cancer benefit on July 31 at the Carthage VFW from 12 to 6 PM for Bill Pearce, Jr. Auction at 3 PM. Donations are welcome.

Did Ya Know?.. . Carthage Farmers Market every Wed. and Sat starting at 7 a.m.

today's laugh

I met a man who had been married for 66 years.

"Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What’s the secret to such a long, happy marriage?"

"Well," he replied, "It’s like this. The man makes all the big decisions and the woman just makes the little decisions."

"Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?"

"Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"


At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."


An old farmer won ten million in the Lottery. He was asked what he was going do with all that money.

He scratched his head and said, "Guess I’ll keep farmin’ till it’s all gone."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Many Secret Societies Have Their New Officers on Duty.

The ladies of Eminence Chapter O. E. S. were in deep trouble yesterday. They were expecting Grand Worthy Matron, Mrs. Harris, and Mrs. J. M. Stevenson, of Neosho, on the 12 o’clock and there was a committee to meet them but they came not. The ladies waited around in various stores for a couple of hours and then went home, thinking the ladies were not coming. The facts were that Mrs. Stevenson could not come and Mrs. Harris had arrived on the 11:30 car and on finding no one to meet her had gone to the Harrington, where she remained until late in the evening. The ladies of the local chapter were in blissful ignorance of Mrs. Harris’ presence until about 8:30 p.m. when she sent a message to the hall where the installation was to be held. A committee was at once dispatched to escort her to the hall and explain the misunderstanding, which was done and all enjoyed a hearty laugh over the joke.

  Today's Feature

Bicyclist Victim of Hit and Run.


Crime Stoppers is requesting assistance in identifying a suspect involved in an incident that occurred the morning of Saturday, July 24, 2010, when a bicyclist was hit by a truck on Hwy. 43, 2 miles south of Joplin.

Missouri State Highway Patrol Troop "D" believes the suspect’s vehicle to be an older 80’s model red Ford pickup truck with a visor over the window and missing its passenger side mirror. The truck also had a yellow octagon shaped watering tank in its bed..

Anyone having information about this incident, is encouraged to call Missouri State Highway Patrol Trooper Carnagey at 417-895-6868 or if one prefers to remain anonymous and possibly be eligible for a reward, they can contact Crime Stoppers.

Anyone with information about this suspect, or any other felony crime, is urged to call Crime Stoppers at (417) 782-TIPZ (8479). Information can be submitted securely on-line at

Just Jake Talkin'

I don’t know much about this Joe the Plumber guy ‘cept he raised a ruckus durin’ the Presidential campaign. Seems he’s become somewhat of a celebrity.

I see that some State candidates are usin’ Joe as an endorsement. He must have more influence than I figured.

I suppose all endorsements carry some hazards. I’m guessin’ ever’one has a few who disagree with the particular endorsee.

Now I’ve got nothin’ against this Joe guy, don’t know him at all. ‘Course I don’t know most of the folks that do endorsin’, just that they’re willin’ to put their name behind a candidate.

We don’t endorse candidates at the Mornin’ Mail. Wouldn’t want any candidate tryin’ to live that down.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By JoAnn Derson

• Weatherproofing in the winter makes good sense -- nobody likes the feel of a chilly draft. But weatherproofing is just as important during the summer if you use air conditioning. You might not feel that cold air leaking outside, but your power bill sure does.

• Whip your butter to stretch it out. Soften sticks to room temperature and whip it to twice its volume using an electric mixer. Store in a large, sealable plastic container.

• "The secret to extra-light pancakes and waffle batter is carbonated water. Use club soda in place of regular water and you’ll see a big difference." -- M.F. in Tennessee

• "To use the last bits of shampoo and conditioner in my bottles, I add a little water and shake them. I also cut open the bottle of lotion when it has a pump top. There’s always so much left when the bottle won’t pump any more out." -- A.R. in Oregon

• "If you have paintbrushes that have hard paint on them, try soaking them in full-strength vinegar. Check to see if paint has softened, and comb out with a wire brush." -- C.F. in New York

• Mix liquid dish detergent (or cheap shampoo) with baking soda and a bit of water to thin it out. Use this mixture to scrub the walls in your bathtub or shower..

• Mix liquid dish detergent (or cheap shampoo) with baking soda and a bit of water to thin it out. Use this mixture to scrub the walls in your bathtub or shower.


• When making stuffed peppers, try placing the peppers in a muffin tin. They are stable and stand upright with ease. Simply place each pepper in a well and bake.

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