"Look at ME!"
boasted the fit old man to a group of young people.
"Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups
and walk two miles. Im fit as a fiddle! And you
want to know why? I dont smoke, I dont drink,
I dont stay up late, and I dont chase after
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes
glittering, "And tomorrow, Im going to
celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of
the young onlookers, "How?"
A woman went into a store to purchase a
bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment
and said to the clerk, "I suppose you want some
He replied, without hesitation,
"No maam, that wont be necessary."
"How come?" asked the woman.
"Crooks dont buy peat
moss," answered the clerk
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
From all accounts it seems that there
has been a clash of authority among the bosses at
Jefferson City over the position of stenographer in
Attorney General Ed. C. Crows office.
It has been understood here that the
position belonged to Thos. F. Roach, of the Carthage
Morning Democrat, but it now develops that Miss Edith
Hampton, also of Carthage, is already installed in the
position, and has been for several days.
Miss Hampton has been employed lately
in the Missouri Pacific offices at St. Louis, but her
friends here say that she left her position there in
response to a telegram from Judge Crow offering her the
position of stenographer in his office at $75 per month
and free transportation. She at once accepted and went to
Jefferson City, returning to this city to spend Sunday at
home, but again going to Jefferson City this morning.
A gentleman who is in a position to
know stated that Miss Hampton had the position
permanently and that the job had never been offered Mr.
Mr. Roach was seen this morning by a
reporter and stated that Miss Hampton was only in Judge
Crows office to assist during the rush of the next
two months and that he would leave this week for
Jefferson City to assume his position retaining Miss
Hampton as an assistant until after the rush.
Mr. Roach further stated that he had
been tendered the position by Judge Crow on condition of
the judges nomination and election, and that there
was no doubt about his getting it. He has been taking a
course in stenography and type writing during the past
two months to fit himself for the position.
There is another young man in the city
that claims to have been tendered the position but he
seems to be left out in the cold altogether.
PARTY GROUPS HAVE NOT ENDORSED ROY BLUNT FOR U.S.
News Release:"Tea Party
organizations, from across the state of Missouri,
have NOT endorsed Roy Blunt in his campaign for
the U.S. Senate seat. When we received a
notification that Minnesota Congresswoman Michele
Bachmann, a strong supporter of Tea Parties
nationally, and the originator of a "Tea
Party Caucus" in Washington last week, will
be coming to Missouri on July 31st to make phone
calls with Roy Blunt from the St. Louis GOP
headquarters, and to be a featured speaker at a
Blunt fundraiser that night, we were shocked. We
believe she has been grossly misled if she
understands him to be a Missouri Tea Party
Tea Party participants believe
the spending in Washington has to STOP. Roy Blunt
voted for TARP and Cash for Clunkers. For Michele
Bachmann to come to Missouri and give the
impression that all the Missouri Tea Parties
support Roy Blunt is an abomination of everything
we have been standing up for. "Most Tea
Party supporters I know will be baffled by
Michele Bachmann helping someone with a record
like Roy Blunt before the primary vote,"
said Jedidiah Smith, a Tea Party leader in
Franklin County, Missouri.
"Missouri Tea Party groups
are proud of our steadfast position not to
endorse candidates and to remain independent of
political parties. We encourage all voters to
examine the voting records, positions, and values
of all candidates, to determine whether they
promote the core values of the Tea Party
Movement: fiscal responsibility,
constitutionally-limited government, and free
markets." said Eric Farris, a Tea Party
leader in Branson, Missouri. There are sixteen
candidates running for the Missouri U.S. Senate
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
Sponsored by Chad's Garage
High hopes for
Jeff Gordons hometown
could be considered Vallejo, Calif., where he was
born, or Pittsboro, Ind., where he grew up.
Based on his record there,
Indianapolis Motor Speedway is another place
where Gordon feels right at home. He has won
NASCARs annual visit to the Brickyard a
record four times. (As an aside, Gordon has won
five times at Infineon Raceway, the track closest
to his birthplace.)
Gordons most recent Indy
victory occurred in 2004. In the five races since
then, though, Jimmie Johnson has won three times
and Tony Stewart twice. Forty-eight races have
passed since Gordons last victory anywhere.
He won at Texas Motor Speedway on April 5, 2009.
Still, a winless Gordon is
better than most drivers who have won multiple
races this year ... literally. Gordon, 38, ranks
second in the Sprint Cup point standings,
trailing only Kevin Harvick, and has more
top-five finishes (10) than any other driver.
"Our teams been
consistently running up front," said Gordon.
"We just havent had the car to win or
all the pieces as a team to get ourselves into
"At times weve had
the car. For whatever reasons -- blame it on me,
blame it on incidents, I dont like to point
fingers -- but we havent gotten to victory
lane. ... We think weve got some things up
our sleeve for Indy, but Im sure
thats what a lot of guys out there are
Only five drivers -- Richard
Petty, David Pearson, Bobby Allison, Darrell
Waltrip and Cale Yarbrough -- have ever won more
races at NASCARs highest level than Gordon.
Three more victories would put him ahead of
everyone except Petty and Pearson. But its
been "82 and holding" ever since the
2009 Texas victory.
Some have speculated that the
end of Gordons career is near. He disputes
"Man, I do (feel old) when
I get out of that race car and everything
aches," he said, "but no, I mean,
Im still enjoying the sport very, very
much. I feel like Im way more comfortable
with where Im at in the sport today.
Thats fun. I like all the years of
experience that now I get to benefit from.
"The only thing Id
change right now is getting some of those wins
back. Its tough. Its very
competitive. We know weve got to pick up
Theres a study out
that says havin healthy social
relationships increase you chances of
livin longer by 50%. They say
thats better than the odds ya get if
you quit smokin or loose weight.
Now that doesnt mean
youll live another thirty or forty
years, but sociable people live longer and
healthier lives accordin to this study.
I assume that if this
becomes common knowledge, the health
insurance companies will not only want to
know if you smoke, are over weight, or have
heart problems, theyll wanna know if
youre a loner. How many friends do you
have? How often do you get together? Do you
play dominoes, cards, or shoot pool with your
buddies? Be happy and get a 10% discount.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
My aunt called me the other day
and said she had trouble trying to find the place
where you put more windshield-washer fluid. She
told me the only cover she found was one that
said "Coolant." You guessed it - she
put the windshield-washer fluid in the coolant
reservoir. She then told me that she used a
bottle of Windex instead of the diluted blue
stuff you buy for car windshields. What should I
do to help her, and what possible damage did she
do? - Adam
Tom: Well, the first thing you
can do to help her is open her hood and show her
where the windshield-washer reservoir is. Then
take a big magic marker and label it for her.
Ray: the next thing Id do
is take the car to a mechanic and have the
coolant flushed out and replaced. But I
dont think she did any damage.
Tom: Me neither. If I had to
guess, Id say the dominant ingredients in
Windex are water and ammonia. There might even be
a little ethylene glycol (aka coolant) in there.
Ray: Theres a small
amount of soap in Windex. But my guess is that
any suds would be suppressed by the high
pressure. Its not like she put Dawn
Dishwashing Liquid in there.
Tom: And she can feel good
knowing she has the cleanest cooling system in
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