Kid: Mama, can I go out
and play? Mama: With those two holes in your socks? Kid:
No, with the kids across the street.
I heard one father state that Juvenile
Delinquency is the result of parents trying to train
children without starting at the bottom.
Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get
them from their children.
A Pediatrician is a man with little
"Doc, theres something wrong
with my stomach."
"Keep your coat buttoned and
nobody will notice it."
"Doc, what should I do if my
temperature goes up another point?"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Per Cent on the Present Rate
Would be Lower but for
the Water Co.
The rate of insurance on all dwellings
and contents, brick buildings, churches, public
buildings, and, in fact, everything except special
hazards, in the city of Carthage was reduced 15 per cent
of the present rate. This will be a big thing to the
property owners and save them thousands of dollars
annually. The reduction would have been 25 per cent of
the present rate, but for the fact that the Carthage
Water Works Co. does not furnish sufficient fire
pressure. Springfield and Clinton got the 25 per cent
reduction, but Carthage will have to content herself with
15 until her water service is better.
Fred Wilson, a young man employed at
the Chautauqua grounds in tearing down the auditorium,
painfully crushed the third and fourth fingers of his
right hand while at work this morning.
Jasper County woman faces 3 felony
counts in Medicaid fraud case.
Attorney General Chris Koster
said today a Jasper County audiologist has been
charged with 3 felony counts of Medicaid fraud.
Jasper County Prosecuting Attorney Dean Dankelson
joined Koster in filing the charges against Dana
Opfer, 38, who is charged with submitting false
reimbursement claims to Medicaid for audiology
services she did not perform, with the intention
to defraud the state and MO HealthNet.
Koster said his Medicaid Fraud
Units review of Opfers subpoenaed
records and Medicaid claims found evidence of
billing for services and hearing devices that
were not provided. He said Opfer allegedly has
fraudulently billed more than $12,000 to
Opfer is charged with three
Class C felonies, punishable by up to 7 years in
prison for each violation, plus penalties and
"One of my top priorities
as Attorney General is to enforce our laws
against those who cheat Missouri taxpayers by
committing Medicaid fraud," Koster said.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Success Elusive for Montoya
Juan Pablo Montoyas
presence in NASCAR is truly historic. He was
recognized as one of the worlds great
driving talents long before he strapped himself
into a stock car.
In addition to his one Sprint
Cup victory (at Infineon Raceway in 2007),
Montoya also has won both the Indianapolis 500
and the Grand Prix of Monaco. When he moved from
Formula One to NASCAR, it was unprecedented.
Success hasnt come easily
for Montoya in NASCAR, where he has won only once
in 126 starts. New Hampshire Motor Speedway was a
disappointment after Montoyas No. 42
Chevrolet started on the pole. He crashed after
tangling with Reed Sorenson late in the Lenox 301
and was credited with 34th place.
"The teams are really
competitive. ... It is hard. It is so
competitive," said Montoya.
Montoya made the Chase for the
Sprint Cup last year, but the odds are against
him. With nine races remaining in the regular
season, he is 22nd in points, 183 behind 12th
place. The top 12 regular-season finishers make
up the Chase field.
Whats frustrating for
Montoya is his belief that the team is stronger
this year than last.
"We are miles ahead right
now," he said. "We have a much faster
race car than what we had last year at this
"But we had a blown
engine. We got together with our teammate.
Weve been involved in I dont know how
many wrecks from other people. ... We have been
right behind the wrecks. We have been a row or
two rows behind where they wreck, and they block
the whole track and right there, you are just a
passenger. We have had, like, seven of those this
Though Montoya is, by
background, a road racer, racing a stock car on
road courses didnt come as easily as one
"Its crazy," he
said, "because, for me, its awkward
being in these cars on a road course. ...
Theres just no grip. You know what I mean?
... Its just different. Put it that
The Bogota, Colombia, native
now lives in Miami. He won the Indianapolis 500
in 2000 and the Grand Prix of Monaco in 2003.
Montoyas first NASCAR victory was a
Nationwide Series race in Mexico City in 2007.
Monte Dutton has covered
motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
1993. He was named writer of the year by the
National Motorsports Press Association in 2008.
came walkin by the house the other day.
Stopped and asked if he could get a ride
home. When asked what the problem was, he
said he was just tired of walkin.
I dont know if he
ever got a ride, but he was informed that the
occupants of this house were a little busy at
Now I dont blame the
kid for askin, it just seemed an odd
request seeins how the house is in
There was a time,
livin out in the country a few miles,
when such a request would have been better
received. Someone walkin in those
circumstances might have been seen as more of
a legitimate inquiry.
I hear tell that some folks
walk five or ten miles on a regular basis
just for the exercise. From the appearance of
this youth, that might be somethin
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
CLICK and CLACK
Tom: A few weeks ago, we
answered a question rom Blair, the mother of a
16-year-old girl, who wanted to find a device
that would heop her keep track of her
"spirited" daughters driving.
Ray: We suggested a convent.
Tom: We actually suggested one
of the Global Positioning System (GPS)-based
black boxes that can track a drivers speed
and aggressiveness, and report violations to a
parent instantly by e-mail or text message.
Ray: These devices are called
Event Data Recorders (EDRs), and there are a
number of them on the market.
Tom: But driving fast
isnt the only danger to new drivers. Cell
phones provide a whole number of ways to crash a
Ray: Well, now there are
cell-phone applications that you can install on
you kids (or parents, or
spouses) phone to cut down on these
Tom: They all work pretty much
the same way. They use the phones GPS to
determine when the phone is moving faster than
walking speed. Then, it presumes, youre
Ray: Once the application
senses that youre moving at vehicle speed,
it shuts down some or all aspects of the phone.
Tom: In all cases, once the car
is stopped for a certain amount of time, the
phone is released again to full function.
Ray: They all allow your to
dial 911 anytime, and allow certain
"emergency numbers," like parents
numbers, to get through under all condiditions.
Tom: Theyre not perfect,
but theyre worth a look. Their names are
iZup, CellSafety, ZoomSafer and TXTBlocker.
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