| today's
        laugh Kid: Mama, can I go out
        and play? Mama: With those two holes in your socks? Kid:
        No, with the kids across the street. 
        I heard one father state that Juvenile
        Delinquency is the result of parents trying to train
        children without starting at the bottom. 
        Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get
        them from their children. 
        A Pediatrician is a man with little
        patients. 
        "Doc, theres something wrong
        with my stomach." 
        "Keep your coat buttoned and
        nobody will notice it." 
        "Doc, what should I do if my
        temperature goes up another point?"
        "Sell!" 
         
        1910 
         
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        Fifteen
        Per Cent on the Present Rate  
        Would be Lower but for
        the Water Co. 
        The rate of insurance on all dwellings
        and contents, brick buildings, churches, public
        buildings, and, in fact, everything except special
        hazards, in the city of Carthage was reduced 15 per cent
        of the present rate. This will be a big thing to the
        property owners and save them thousands of dollars
        annually. The reduction would have been 25 per cent of
        the present rate, but for the fact that the Carthage
        Water Works Co. does not furnish sufficient fire
        pressure. Springfield and Clinton got the 25 per cent
        reduction, but Carthage will have to content herself with
        15 until her water service is better. 
        Fred Wilson, a young man employed at
        the Chautauqua grounds in tearing down the auditorium,
        painfully crushed the third and fourth fingers of his
        right hand while at work this morning. 
        here. 
        
            
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                Today's Feature Jasper County woman faces 3 felony
                counts in Medicaid fraud case. 
                Attorney General Chris Koster
                said today a Jasper County audiologist has been
                charged with 3 felony counts of Medicaid fraud.
                Jasper County Prosecuting Attorney Dean Dankelson
                joined Koster in filing the charges against Dana
                Opfer, 38, who is charged with submitting false
                reimbursement claims to Medicaid for audiology
                services she did not perform, with the intention
                to defraud the state and MO HealthNet.  
                Koster said his Medicaid Fraud
                Units review of Opfers subpoenaed
                records and Medicaid claims found evidence of
                billing for services and hearing devices that
                were not provided. He said Opfer allegedly has
                fraudulently billed more than $12,000 to
                Medicaid.  
                Opfer is charged with three
                Class C felonies, punishable by up to 7 years in
                prison for each violation, plus penalties and
                restitution.  
                "One of my top priorities
                as Attorney General is to enforce our laws
                against those who cheat Missouri taxpayers by
                committing Medicaid fraud," Koster said.  
                 
                NASCAR THIS WEEK 
                By Monte Dutton 
                Sponsored
                by Curry Automotive 
                Success Elusive for Montoya 
                Juan Pablo Montoyas
                presence in NASCAR is truly historic. He was
                recognized as one of the worlds great
                driving talents long before he strapped himself
                into a stock car. 
                In addition to his one Sprint
                Cup victory (at Infineon Raceway in 2007),
                Montoya also has won both the Indianapolis 500
                and the Grand Prix of Monaco. When he moved from
                Formula One to NASCAR, it was unprecedented. 
                Success hasnt come easily
                for Montoya in NASCAR, where he has won only once
                in 126 starts. New Hampshire Motor Speedway was a
                disappointment after Montoyas No. 42
                Chevrolet started on the pole. He crashed after
                tangling with Reed Sorenson late in the Lenox 301
                and was credited with 34th place. 
                "The teams are really
                competitive. ... It is hard. It is so
                competitive," said Montoya.  
                Montoya made the Chase for the
                Sprint Cup last year, but the odds are against
                him. With nine races remaining in the regular
                season, he is 22nd in points, 183 behind 12th
                place. The top 12 regular-season finishers make
                up the Chase field. 
                Whats frustrating for
                Montoya is his belief that the team is stronger
                this year than last. 
                "We are miles ahead right
                now," he said. "We have a much faster
                race car than what we had last year at this
                point. 
                "But we had a blown
                engine. We got together with our teammate.
                Weve been involved in I dont know how
                many wrecks from other people. ... We have been
                right behind the wrecks. We have been a row or
                two rows behind where they wreck, and they block
                the whole track and right there, you are just a
                passenger. We have had, like, seven of those this
                year." 
                Though Montoya is, by
                background, a road racer, racing a stock car on
                road courses didnt come as easily as one
                might think. 
                "Its crazy," he
                said, "because, for me, its awkward
                being in these cars on a road course. ...
                Theres just no grip. You know what I mean?
                ... Its just different. Put it that
                way." 
                The Bogota, Colombia, native
                now lives in Miami. He won the Indianapolis 500
                in 2000 and the Grand Prix of Monaco in 2003.
                Montoyas first NASCAR victory was a
                Nationwide Series race in Mexico City in 2007. 
                *** 
                Monte Dutton has covered
                motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
                1993. He was named writer of the year by the
                National Motorsports Press Association in 2008.  
                 
                 
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                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    Kid
                    came walkin by the house the other day.
                    Stopped and asked if he could get a ride
                    home. When asked what the problem was, he
                    said he was just tired of walkin. 
                    I dont know if he
                    ever got a ride, but he was informed that the
                    occupants of this house were a little busy at
                    the time. 
                    Now I dont blame the
                    kid for askin, it just seemed an odd
                    request seeins how the house is in
                    town. 
                    There was a time,
                    livin out in the country a few miles,
                    when such a request would have been better
                    received. Someone walkin in those
                    circumstances might have been seen as more of
                    a legitimate inquiry. 
                    I hear tell that some folks
                    walk five or ten miles on a regular basis
                    just for the exercise. From the appearance of
                    this youth, that might be somethin
                    worth considerin. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly,  
                    Just Jake Talkin.  
                    . 
                     
                 
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                Weekly
                Columns 
                CLICK and CLACK 
                TALK
                CARS 
                Tom: A few weeks ago, we
                answered a question rom Blair, the mother of a
                16-year-old girl, who wanted to find a device
                that would heop her keep track of her
                "spirited" daughters driving. 
                Ray: We suggested a convent. 
                Tom: We actually suggested one
                of the Global Positioning System (GPS)-based
                black boxes that can track a drivers speed
                and aggressiveness, and report violations to a
                parent instantly by e-mail or text message. 
                Ray: These devices are called
                Event Data Recorders (EDRs), and there are a
                number of them on the market. 
                Tom: But driving fast
                isnt the only danger to new drivers. Cell
                phones provide a whole number of ways to crash a
                car.  
                Ray: Well, now there are
                cell-phone applications that you can install on
                you kids (or parents, or
                spouses) phone to cut down on these
                distractions. 
                Tom: They all work pretty much
                the same way. They use the phones GPS to
                determine when the phone is moving faster than
                walking speed. Then, it presumes, youre
                driving. 
                Ray: Once the application
                senses that youre moving at vehicle speed,
                it shuts down some or all aspects of the phone.  
                Tom: In all cases, once the car
                is stopped for a certain amount of time, the
                phone is released again to full function. 
                Ray: They all allow your to
                dial 911 anytime, and allow certain
                "emergency numbers," like parents
                numbers, to get through under all condiditions. 
                Tom: Theyre not perfect,
                but theyre worth a look. Their names are
                iZup, CellSafety, ZoomSafer and TXTBlocker. 
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