FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious
blue-haired beauty, 80s, slim, 54" (used
to be 56"), searching for sharp-looking,
sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who
has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for
someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with
original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare
steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday
through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday
and Sunday, lets put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high
mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts
including hip, knee, valves. Isnt in running
condition, but walks well.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Mean Trick.
Just at present S.W. Hanford thinks the
person who will milk another mans cow is about the
meanest person on the pike. Last night his cow was a
little late in getting home from Kelloggs pasture,
and when she finally arrived, had not a drop of milk for
her young calf. The cow is supposed to have been held up
and milked on the way home.
Wonder reigned supreme yesterday up
town when "Bill" Blair paraded the square with
a dasky damsel on his arm. The damsel tittered and
giggled, and in response to looks of surprise from
bystanders, she replied in coquettish accents
"Were married." Bill was certainly as
bashful as any bridegroom.
T.J. Stemmons & Son today shipped
by express a fine Poland china pig to J.J. Maxey of
Complaints Rank High.
Attorney General Chris Koster
says that a scam called "cramming"
ranks near the top of complaints his office
receives each year.
Koster said telephone companies
contract to provide billing and collection
services for third-party companies. Cramming
happens when a third-party company adds a charge
to your phone bill for a service you didnt
order, such as voicemail, Internet service, or
calling cards. He said these charges are
sometimes hidden on the phone bill under such
titles as "enhanced services,"
"activation," or "web
"Unethical companies are
betting that consumers wont read their
phone bills," Koster said.
"Always read the small
print, and if a form or a caller asks for your
phone number, ask questions and find out why they
need the number," Koster said. "If you
do get crammed, call your local phone company
immediately and ask that the charges be removed,
and call the company named on the bill ask that
they be removed. Then call the Attorney
Generals Consumer Hotline at 1-800-392-8222
and file a complaint."
There is probly not a
more accurate classic quotation that the one
from "Cool Hand Luke." Most will
know what it is without bein told, but
for those youngsters that happen ta be
readin it is "What we have here is
a failure to communicate."
Nothin causes more
problems, litigation, divorces, and just down
right cantankerous attitudes than a failure
to understand whats really goin
Now the character in the
movie didnt mean that everone was
gonna sit down and discuss what was
botherin em of course. What he
was sayin was folks just werent
payin attention to what he was
sayin. Ive heard its always a
good idea ta have the person youre
talkin to repeat what youve said
just ta make sure they understand.
Course, theres always time ta fix
what there wasnt time ta do right the
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: How do I clean a kitchen
exhaust fan -- the one above the stove? Mine
looks really gunky. -- Claire J., Wheeling, W.Va.
A: The filter screen protects
the exhaust fan and its motor from debris, dust
or gunk getting in and impeding their operation.
If the fan blades are dirty,
you can clean them in place or pull the fan/motor
assembly down from the casing to clean the entire
assembly. Some important caveats before starting:
First, TURN OFF the power to the fan at the
circuit panel -- make sure it cannot be switched
on. Second, dont immerse the assembly in
water or get too wet -- clean with a damp cloth
or sponge, but dont soak it.
To remove the assembly --
again, turn off the power first -- look for the
mounting bracket located just inside or just
under the fan casing. Unscrew the bracket and
carefully slide the assembly from the casing. Do
not disconnect any wires. Youll want to
hold the assembly in place (or have a helper hold
it) while you carefully wipe down the exterior
surfaces -- the fan blades and the motor housing
-- with a soft cloth dampened in a mild
soap-and-water solution. Once the gunk is cleaned
off, wipe the surfaces with a cloth dipped in
clean water (so soap residue doesnt attract
more sticky particles) and dry completely. Once
dry, slide the assembly back into the casing and
reattach the mounting bracket. Slide the clean
and dry filter back into place, and youre
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.