| today's
laugh According to
my financial advisor Ed, if I’d purchased $1000.00
of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now worth $49.00.
With Enron, I would have $16.50 left of
the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, I would have less than
$5.00 left.
But, if you I’d purchased
$1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer,
saved the empty cans and then turned them in the cans for
the aluminum recycling price, I would have $214.00.
Based on the above, Ed’s current
investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
He calls it the 401-Keg Plan.
I didn’t attend
the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it-M Twain
He loves nature in
spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Will Preach on the
Street.
J.W. Moss, the Pepsin postman, who for
religious reasons prefers not to serve Uncle Sam on
Saturdays, today told the paper to inform the public that
next Saturday at 11 o’clock a.m. he will address the
people on the public square, taking for his subject,
"Charity and Prophecy." He made an effort to
secure a Carthage church for that purpose but was unable
to get the necessary permit. He was once a Seventh Day
Adventist, but now claims to be no longer.
He is, however, very firm in his belief
that Saturday is the day of rest and worship and is
enthusiastic in his efforts to be heard.
In the Motley-Hood road case yesterday,
the county court ordered the road commissioner to take
surveys and relinquishments and report on the same at or
before the next meeting of court.
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Today's Feature Senate For
Insurance For Autism.
The Missouri Senate voted 26-6
yesterday to advance Senate Bill 618 to the House
for similar consideration.
Autism is the only disorder out
of the top 10 childhood neurobiological disorders
that is not covered by health insurance,
according to health experts.
The bill would require most
health carriers that issue or renew health
benefit plans to provide coverage for diagnosis
and treatment of individuals with autism. It
would restrict health carriers from refusing to
issue or renew coverage based solely on the fact
of an autism diagnosis. The proposed insurance
coverage would include a physician or
psychiatrist’s referral of ABA (Applied
Behavior Analysis) therapy — up to $55,000
per year for individuals under the age of 21.
According to the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention, autism strikes
one out of 91 children in this country —
more than AIDS, juvenile diabetes and cancer,
combined.
The Senate advanced a similar
bill last year that later stalled in the House.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The cool weather last
weekend was just right to put an edge on my
exercise of seein’ how close I could
come to a nail without doin’ enough
damage to my fingers so I would be forced to
lay down the hammer.
Workin’ from a ladder,
I was placed in the position where I could
strike justice with both my right and left
hand, thus givin’ equal time for both
sides of the story.
Bein’ prone to favor
my right hand for hammer swingin’, I was
more accurate, usually, but also did more
damage when I miscalculated. When
swingin’ with the left hand, I only was
able to inflict a little sting, but that one
good shot with my stronger right handed swing
resulted in a swell blood blister. It’s
amazin’ how well the voice travels
through the neighborhood on a quiet, cool
afternoon, from the top of a twenty foot
ladder. Even the squirrels scattered.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns artCentral
ART
NOTES from Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
As the time approaches quickly
for our new exhibition opening on the 26th, a
sculpture showing by M. Justin Hale, Robin
Putnam, and Bill Snow, I want to talk a bit about
our workshops being planned for April. Cheryl
Church-Saving is a fine artist whose expertise is
in fine colored pencil drawing, and Cheryl will
be leading a class in "Drawing With the
Colored Pencil" on April 10th and 11th here
at the gallery. If you have ever desired a better
training in basic drawing, and many of you have
asked me about this, this is the class for you!
Cheryl teaches art at our high school, and has
entered and won many art competitions with her
drawings, most recently holding a professional
art workshop in Carthage on the colored pencil,
led by a famous award winning artist from the
Northwest. This workshop is open to young adults
and adults and will be held from 10:00- 5:00 on
Saturday and 1:00- 5:00 on Sunday, and the cost
is $80.00 for both days. Students will bring a
sack lunch on Saturday. Then, for all oil
painting enthusiasts or "want-to-bes",
we will be holding a one day oil painting
workshop on April 17th, from 9:00- 4:00, with oil
painter Dan McWilliams of Jasper leading. Dan is
a contributor artist to the Midwest Gathering of
the Artists show held in the fall, and also had a
well received exhibition here at artCentral last
fall. He is a full time artist, and his studio
and gallery can be visited in downtown Jasper. We
already have a number of participants signed up
for this workshop, so don’t wait to call
about this one. The cost of this workshop is
$50.00, and a supply list is available to
registrants. Lunch is to be carried to each
workshop, and don’t wait to contact
artCentral for registration information, as each
has a limited attendance. Now, come on out and
begin your own "art hobby" with a class
at artCentral!
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