| today's
laugh Law of
probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss
you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or
traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move
faster than the one you are in now.
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully
immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The
probability of meeting someone you know increases when
you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to
prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it
will..
Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there
are only two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Gave a Concert
at Galena.
Miss Emma Johns, Miss Clara Evans, Ruth
Myers and the Schubert quartet of this city gave a
concert at the M. E. church in Galena, Kansas, last
night. The concert was very successful and very
satisfactory to the audience.
The church people gave the concert to
raise money for the purchase of an organ for the church
and a neat sum was cleared. The party went down on the 4
o’clock car and returned on the 1:10 Missouri
Pacific train this morning.
Butcher
Shop Sold Out.
Mr. J. J.
Raymaker, the north Main street butcher, has secured a
position as a traveling salesman for a large packing
house and yesterday closed out his stock and disposed of
his fixtures. His family is still in Carthage.
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Today's Feature DAY of CARING.
Friday, May 14, 2010 has been
set for the 10th Annual Day of Caring. Volunteers
will spend half the day or more performing
much-needed tasks for the non-profit agencies of
the Carthage Area United Way.
"This day is an exciting
way to involve many different people in the
spirit of volunteerism in our community,"
said Jenny Mansfield , Carthage Area United Way
Executive Director.
Activities will take place at
designated agency locations throughout the area.
The tasks vary from painting, landscaping and
cleaning, as well as assisting with activities
with preschoolers and much more.
The health and human service
agencies that will be receiving Day of Caring
volunteer help are Ozark Boy Scout camp, Girl
Scout camp, Salvation Army, CP Center, Carthage
Crisis Center, American Red Cross and the
Lafayette House.
Carthage Water & Electric,
Leggett & Platt, Southwest Missouri Bank,
Arvest Bank, UMB Bank, Hometown Bank, Schreiber
Foods and Barrister Title are sponsoring the
event.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I was walkin’ the
other day and a car was waitin’ to pull
out of the parkin’ lot. I aimed to the
rear of the car to let the driver know I was
clear and the car went ahead and pulled out.
No since in a car havin’ to wait on my
pace.
I was drivin’ and a
teenager stopped in the middle of a cross
walk and just stood there as if to dare me to
hit him. He and his buddy seemed to get a big
kick outa makin’ the vehicle slow to a
stop.
Now I’m not
sayin’ that I didn’t have a right
to my piece of the sidewalk when I was
walkin’, or the kid didn’t have a
right to be safe in the cross walk. As a
pedestrian the law protects us against
automobiles.
I suppose most of the time
it’s easy to forget that even though ya
got a right, sometimes it’s better to
just do what’s right.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly Columns HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• "Our 4-year-old
twins were recently in my sister’s wedding
as flower girls. To get them used to their
outfits, the dress-shop owner suggested they wear
the dresses in 10-, 20- and 30-minute sessions in
the two weeks preceding the wedding -- during
activities where they would not stain or
otherwise damage the dress. They were more
comfortable in their clothes after having
‘practiced,’ and they didn’t pull
at their clothes and fidget much." -- T.F.
• Here’s a tip for a
quick pin cushion: Use a clean Styrofoam tray.
The pins go in straight, and are quite secure.
• "When we’re
playing card games with the kids, they use a
large chip clip to hold their ‘hand’
together. It works pretty well." -- W.R. in
Ohio
• Pizza cutters make great
sandwich trimmers. You easily can trim the crust
and cut the sandwich. They’re also great for
cutting up hot dogs.
• To attack cobwebs or
dust high walls, cover a broom head with a
pillowcase. You’ll get better coverage, and
the pillowcase can easily be tossed in the wash.
• "We don’t have
a mudroom in our house, so to catch water and mud
on days of heavy rain, I have a clean plastic
shower curtain that I place on the floor of the
entranceway. We leave wet, muddy shoes on it, and
it even can catch drips from umbrellas and such.
The whole thing can be dragged to the garage if
necessary." -- I.S. in Alabama
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Copyright 1997-2010 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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