A doctor and a
lawyer were talking at a party. Their con- versation was
constantly interrupted by people describing their
ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the
lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking
you for legal advice when youre out of the
"I give it to them," replied
the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to
give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly
guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his
mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. "
Theres too much youth; how about
a fountain of smart.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Invented a Voting
M. Mehan and J. B. Loyd, of this city,
have invented a voting machine which they believe will be
a complete success. Each has been working separately
until today when they got together and compared notes.
They found their principles very similar and will build
their machine using the best ideas of both. The work of
building a working model will begin at once and as soon
as finished will be placed on exhibition. The machine
will be operated by means of keys and from the
description is a very ingenious device.
It will require an action of the
legislature to legalize the use of the machine in
A. Kibler brought in a box of fine
strawberries. They were almost as large as apples. He
also brought in samples of peas of his own raising. He
will market about four bushels of them tomorrow. This is
very early for home grown peas.
Every year on May 25,
Missourians are asked to remember the children
who stare back each day from the posters of the
missing. These are the faces of children who have
been stolen from their families, run away from
their families, or have been abandoned by their
families. Regardless of the reason, these missing
youth are in danger every day. It is the goal of
National Missing Childrens Day to bring
public attention to the growing problem of
President Ronald Reagan first
proclaimed National Missing Childrens Day
on May 25, 1983. It now serves as an annual
reminder to Missouri and the nation that everyone
can play a part in bringing a missing child home,
and in preventing the occurrence of future
missing children. All Missouri citizens are
encouraged to drive with their headlights on
throughout the day on May 25, to "light the
way home" for our missing youth. The wearing
of a white ribbon also symbolizes the continued
fight to return children safely home.
"Every child has a right
to protection and a healthy and safe living
environment," said Sgt. Keverne L. McCollum,
supervisor of the Missouri State Highway
Patrols Missing Persons Clearinghouse. As a
state, we must stand strong against the dilemma
of lost and missing children."
In 2009, 7,000 children were
reported missing to Missouri law enforcement
agencies. These missing reports included
runaways, family abductions, and non-family
abductions. At the end of 2009, 133 of these
children were still missing. In the first quarter
of 2010, there have been 2,339 children reported
missing, 2,073 of which have been located.
"One missing child is
still one too many," added Sgt. McCollum.
The Missouri Missing Persons
Clearinghouse reminds all parents and guardians
to talk to children about child safety issues as
a pro-active approach to curbing child abduction.
In the same manner as reminding children to look
both ways before crossing the street, children
should be reminded often to follow these safety
CHECK FIRST: Check first with a
trusted adult before going anywhere or accepting
anything from anyone.
TAKE A BUDDY: Never go alone;
always take a friend. If a child MUST go
somewhere alone, remind them to call before
leaving, stay on a protected path, and check in
SAY NO: Know that it is OK to
say, "NO!" Teach children to tell a
trusted adult if something makes them scared or
BE SAFE: Remind children they
always have the right to stay safe.
The Patrols Missing
Persons Clearinghouse has a Child ID System,
which can be taken to schools, health and safety
fairs, and civic meetings upon request to make
free, wallet-sized child ID cards for parents.
My brother worked on a pig
farm ta help pay his way durin his
college years. Said it wasnt that bad a
work, but he started noticin the
resemblance tween hogs and people.
He [my brother, not the
pig] started noticin that if he was in
a bad mood when he came in ta feed the
animals, there was much disruption throughout
the community. Some days hed come and
throw a bucket and be talkin loud and
the pigs would respond accordingly.
Theyd start pushin and
snarlin at each other. Other days
hed be hummin a tune and
talkin quiet, theyd all be happy
as could be.
One day he thought
hed get by bein a little late,
but the pigs squealed.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
NOTES from Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
Excitement mounts as we
approach the final weekend of our "5X5 Art
Auction" here at Hyde House Gallery, and 55
bidders have left bids on all 74 works presented
in our show. There have been a number of
questions posed to us regarding the completion of
our auction, and how we will handle specific
scenarios as the bidding closes on contested
works. My board of directors has just met today,
and I would like to post the following
instructions that will take effect in addition to
the guidelines already presented to our bidders
thus far. * "Sealed bids left with
artCentral can be made only by persons already in
possession of a bidding number, having filled in
the required form previously. If a bidder is
absent Saturday night, he/she may leave sealed
bid with an agent representing him, with
instructions on proceeding, or if artCentral is
acting as agent we must have the desired spread
bids in writing, incrementally as desired, or at
least in minimum $50.00 advancements, with a
ceiling or highest bid noted. If bidder is
willing to go higher than their ceiling bid, an
agent representing must have written authority to
do so. An opening bid must be posted at the time
the sealed document is presented, and the first
qualifying spread bid will be posted at 7:00 pm
on Saturday night, with additional bids presented
as required until 7:30 pm. At 7:30, all 74
entries will have their highest bids highlighted
and noted by a board member, and if these
highlighted bids are not increased in 5 minutes,
bidding will close on any work not increased,
until all works receive their highest bids, using
the 5 minute increments thereafter. This will
continue until all bidders have dropped out and a
final bid is achieved. As bids close on a piece,
the identification sheet will be removed from the
wall, and a piece may be claimed after being paid
for at the cashiers desk. Items not claimed
Saturday night will be kept for later payment and
pickup and any unclaimed piece not claimed in 30
days is offered to the next highest bidder, and
then down the list until it is claimed. Payment
is by check or cash only." Our gallery is
open this weekend, Friday and Saturday noon to
5:00 for bidding, and then we will re-open at
6:00 again on Saturday for the final reception.
All are invited to attend, so come out and watch
the fun, or participate! You may go home with a
work of art!
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