The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, May 6, 2010 Volume XVIII, Number 224

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . The Carthage Saddle Club will have a Show De O at the Arena on May 8. Sign up 4 p.m. Start 5 p.m.

Did Ya Know?..The Family Literacy Center will hold their Fern Sale this Sat., May 8 at 706 Orchard St. from 8 a.m. until 10 a.m. $10 each

today's laugh

My grandfather always said, "Don’t watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. - Jackie Mason


The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

The young rancher answered, "I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number."


Theres always one of my uncles who watches a boxing match with me and says "Sure. Ten million dollars. You know, for that kind of money, Id fight him." As if someone is going to pay $200 a ticket to see a 57-year-old carpet salesman get hit in the face once and cry. - Larry Miller


He had delusions of adequacy.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Remarkable Character.

Mrs. Gilson, an old and well known resident at Dublin, near Jasper, died this week and was buried in an old and abandoned cemetery at her own request beside her husband who had been buried there. She also requested that her favorite trinkets, a bow and arrow, an old silver half dollar, sleeve buttons and a book be buried in her coffin with her body. This was done.

Mrs. Gilson was known as the "marshal" on account of the peculiar habit she had of "laying down the law" to those who went contrary to her wishes. The following incident is a sample: Some years ago a new saloon opened up in Jasper and she warned the proprietor to not sell whiskey to her son. It appears that her son proved to be one of the first customers and learning of this, Mrs. Gilson went to the saloon and pulling two big revolvers on the barkeeper, reiterated her request with emphasis. The son received no more whiskey at the Jasper saloon.

  Today's Feature

Around Town.

Auditions for The Importance of Being Earnest, directed by Becki Gooch will be held Sunday, May 9th and Monday, May 10th at 6:00 p.m. at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theater , Carthage, Mo. Parts needed are 5 men; 2-age 18-35, age 40+, 2-any age. 4 women: 2-age 16-35, and 2-age 40+. Auditions will consist of cold readings. For more information call 417-358-9665.


The Missouri State Highway Patrol would like to remind the public that driver examination stations throughout the state will be closed in observance of the following holiday:

Truman’s birthday, on Friday, May 7, 2010. Normal operations will resume on Monday, May 10, 2010.


The National Association of Letter Carriers, in conjunction with the United States Postal Service will be collecting non-perishable food items like canned soup, juice, pasta, vegetables, cereal and rice on Saturday, May 8 to help families in need in this community. Place food donation at the mailbox before your letter carrier arrives.



By Monte Dutton

Sponsored by Curry Automotive

Keselowski Must Avoid Mental Mistakes

TALLADEGA, Ala. -- For the second week in a row, Brad Keselowski competed in two races, one Sprint Cup and one Nationwide Series, on the same day.

He was far from the only one, but Keselowski won the Aaron’s 312 after finishing 34th in the Aaron’s 499. And he’s leading the Nationwide Series standings by a healthy margin.

"There’s a quick adaptation period where you have to show a certain skill set that’s completely different," said Keselowski. "It’s like in football, if you were taking a snap as a wide receiver and going over and taking one as running back. It makes it interesting, and that’s when you see who has the talent to do that and the mental strength to try."

Talladega Superspeedway is a track that often eliminates cars and drivers by something close to random selection. Ryan Newman suggested that its races shouldn’t count in the point standings. Dale Earnhardt Jr. referred to it as "a lottery."

But Keselowski owes a lot to the perilous Alabama track. He won the Aaron’s 499 in 2009 while he was only a part-time competitor in Cup. The exposure helped him earn a regular Cup ride at Penske Racing.

The 26-year-old from Rochester Hills, Mich., is from a racing family. His father and uncle competed in NASCAR with some success. He’s still finding his way in the Cup ranks -- currently 26th in points -- but he is widely considered a future star, even while some of his peers regard him warily for an aggressiveness uncommon in newcomers.

But Keselowski knows he has to play it smart, particularly with a Nationwide Series championship within his grasp.

"I have no room to make a mental error if I want to win the championship at the end of the year," he said. "It’s very draining to drive both series. It gives you the opportunity to make a mental mistake from just being worn down. I’m going to have to work hard to make sure that doesn’t happen."

It’s so far, so good, for a young man who finds himself exactly where he always wanted to be.

Just Jake Talkin'

I thought there for a while ever’thing was speedin’ up a little ever’day. I finally realized that the battery in my watch must be gettin’ worn down a notch or two. Sure was a relief.

Now I’m sure I can get another week or two out of the old workhorse. I’ve just got to remember to add a couple a minutes to what it reads ever’day. A little mental calculation to know ‘xactly what time it is.

I may just wind down with it. Slow down a little. ‘Sides, by the time it quits, there’ll be one day there with an extra thirty minutes or so in it. That’s what this country really needs, a twenty-four and a half hour day.

I figure I’ll take that thirty minutes and figure out how to get the watch open and try and find a battery to fit.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.


Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply Weekly Columns




Dear Tom and Ray:

When I was a kid doing my own tune-ups, I understood that the color of the deposits in the very end of the tailpipe was an indicator of how well-tuned the car was. Tan-colored deposits were good; black and sooty deposits were bad. My new car doesn’t get the 24 mpg highway that it should, and the tailpipe has a black sooty deposit. I told the dealer the black soot means that the mixture is too rich, and that causes the poor mileage. He disagrees. Am I right, or is the dealer? - Jerry

Tom: Well, in the old days, a black, sooty tailpipe WAS an indication that your mixture was too rich (too much gasoline, not enough air and, therefore, lots of excess carbon).

Ray: But nowadays, with computer-controlled engine-management systems, your "check engine" light would come on long before your tailpipe turned black.

Tom: Modern cars all have at least two oxygen sensors that check the mixture by measuring how much oxygen is in the exhaust. And they check the mixture continually - every moment the engine is running.

Ray: so whatever caused the inside of your exhaust pipe to turn black, unless your check engine light is on, is unlikely to be a fuel-air mixture that’s too rich.

Tom: And besides, what are you doing looking up the inside of your tailpipe, Jerry? What if your neighbors catch you doing that?

Ray: If you’re still not convinced, Jerry (and I can tell you’re not), the easiest way to answer your question is to get an emissions test. Ask the dealer if he’d be willing to test the emissions for you, and then you can continue the mileage discussion from there. Good luck, Jerry.

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