always said, "Dont watch your money; watch
your health." So one day while I was watching my
health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. -
The young rancher came running into the
store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just
stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it
The young rancher answered, "I
couldnt tell, but I got the license number."
Theres always one of my uncles who
watches a boxing match with me and says "Sure. Ten
million dollars. You know, for that kind of money, Id
fight him." As if someone is going to pay $200 a
ticket to see a 57-year-old carpet salesman get hit in
the face once and cry. - Larry Miller
He had delusions of adequacy.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Remarkable Character.
Mrs. Gilson, an old and well known
resident at Dublin, near Jasper, died this week and was
buried in an old and abandoned cemetery at her own
request beside her husband who had been buried there. She
also requested that her favorite trinkets, a bow and
arrow, an old silver half dollar, sleeve buttons and a
book be buried in her coffin with her body. This was
Mrs. Gilson was known as the
"marshal" on account of the peculiar habit she
had of "laying down the law" to those who went
contrary to her wishes. The following incident is a
sample: Some years ago a new saloon opened up in Jasper
and she warned the proprietor to not sell whiskey to her
son. It appears that her son proved to be one of the
first customers and learning of this, Mrs. Gilson went to
the saloon and pulling two big revolvers on the
barkeeper, reiterated her request with emphasis. The son
received no more whiskey at the Jasper saloon.
Auditions for The Importance
of Being Earnest, directed by Becki Gooch
will be held Sunday, May 9th and Monday, May 10th
at 6:00 p.m. at Stones Throw Dinner Theater
, Carthage, Mo. Parts needed are 5 men; 2-age
18-35, age 40+, 2-any age. 4 women: 2-age 16-35,
and 2-age 40+. Auditions will consist of cold
readings. For more information call 417-358-9665.
The Missouri State Highway
Patrol would like to remind the public that
driver examination stations throughout the state
will be closed in observance of the following
Trumans birthday, on
Friday, May 7, 2010. Normal operations will
resume on Monday, May 10, 2010.
The National Association of
Letter Carriers, in conjunction with the United
States Postal Service will be collecting
non-perishable food items like canned soup,
juice, pasta, vegetables, cereal and rice on
Saturday, May 8 to help families in need in this
community. Place food donation at the mailbox
before your letter carrier arrives.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
by Curry Automotive
Avoid Mental Mistakes
TALLADEGA, Ala. -- For the
second week in a row, Brad Keselowski competed in
two races, one Sprint Cup and one Nationwide
Series, on the same day.
He was far from the only one,
but Keselowski won the Aarons 312 after
finishing 34th in the Aarons 499. And
hes leading the Nationwide Series standings
by a healthy margin.
"Theres a quick
adaptation period where you have to show a
certain skill set thats completely
different," said Keselowski. "Its
like in football, if you were taking a snap as a
wide receiver and going over and taking one as
running back. It makes it interesting, and
thats when you see who has the talent to do
that and the mental strength to try."
Talladega Superspeedway is a
track that often eliminates cars and drivers by
something close to random selection. Ryan Newman
suggested that its races shouldnt count in
the point standings. Dale Earnhardt Jr. referred
to it as "a lottery."
But Keselowski owes a lot to
the perilous Alabama track. He won the
Aarons 499 in 2009 while he was only a
part-time competitor in Cup. The exposure helped
him earn a regular Cup ride at Penske Racing.
The 26-year-old from Rochester
Hills, Mich., is from a racing family. His father
and uncle competed in NASCAR with some success.
Hes still finding his way in the Cup ranks
-- currently 26th in points -- but he is widely
considered a future star, even while some of his
peers regard him warily for an aggressiveness
uncommon in newcomers.
But Keselowski knows he has to
play it smart, particularly with a Nationwide
Series championship within his grasp.
"I have no room to make a
mental error if I want to win the championship at
the end of the year," he said.
"Its very draining to drive both
series. It gives you the opportunity to make a
mental mistake from just being worn down.
Im going to have to work hard to make sure
that doesnt happen."
Its so far, so good, for
a young man who finds himself exactly where he
always wanted to be.
I thought there for a while
everthing was speedin up a little
everday. I finally realized that the
battery in my watch must be gettin worn
down a notch or two. Sure was a relief.
Now Im sure I can get
another week or two out of the old workhorse.
Ive just got to remember to add a
couple a minutes to what it reads
everday. A little mental calculation to
know xactly what time it is.
I may just wind down with
it. Slow down a little. Sides, by the
time it quits, therell be one day there
with an extra thirty minutes or so in it.
Thats what this country really needs, a
twenty-four and a half hour day.
I figure Ill take
that thirty minutes and figure out how to get
the watch open and try and find a battery to
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
When I was a kid doing my own
tune-ups, I understood that the color of the
deposits in the very end of the tailpipe was an
indicator of how well-tuned the car was.
Tan-colored deposits were good; black and sooty
deposits were bad. My new car doesnt get
the 24 mpg highway that it should, and the
tailpipe has a black sooty deposit. I told the
dealer the black soot means that the mixture is
too rich, and that causes the poor mileage. He
disagrees. Am I right, or is the dealer? - Jerry
Tom: Well, in the old days, a
black, sooty tailpipe WAS an indication that your
mixture was too rich (too much gasoline, not
enough air and, therefore, lots of excess
Ray: But nowadays, with
computer-controlled engine-management systems,
your "check engine" light would come on
long before your tailpipe turned black.
Tom: Modern cars all have at
least two oxygen sensors that check the mixture
by measuring how much oxygen is in the exhaust.
And they check the mixture continually - every
moment the engine is running.
Ray: so whatever caused the
inside of your exhaust pipe to turn black, unless
your check engine light is on, is unlikely to be
a fuel-air mixture thats too rich.
Tom: And besides, what are you
doing looking up the inside of your tailpipe,
Jerry? What if your neighbors catch you doing
Ray: If youre still not
convinced, Jerry (and I can tell youre
not), the easiest way to answer your question is
to get an emissions test. Ask the dealer if
hed be willing to test the emissions for
you, and then you can continue the mileage
discussion from there. Good luck, Jerry.
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