The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 101

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . There will be a Singles Reaching Out West Thanksgiving party Fri. Nov 12 at 6:30 p.m. in the Ulmer’s Community room, 1208 S Garrison. Pot luck with turkey to be provided. $3 -358-1156

Did Ya Know?.. . There will be a FREE Veterans Pancake Feed at the VFW post Sun. Nov 14 from 10 a.m. to noon. All vets free, non-military $5. Junction of 171 and Oak St. Everyone Welcome.

Did Ya Know?.. . St. Anm’s will hold their Chili Dinner Thur. Nov. 11 from 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. and from 5 p.m. -7 p.m. Take out available. 358-4902.

today's laugh

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.

"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."


We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime.

By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.


A waiter brings a customer the steak he ordered. The waiter has his thumb over the meat.

"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"

"What..." answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"


Department of Redundancy Department


As I said before, I never repeat myself.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Mama on Skates.

The Webb City Sentinel tells the following on one of that town’s leaders in society: "One of the young men from this city who goes to the Carthage rink every once in awhile and was there last night, hung pretty close to a certain young lady, he thought, and was just in the act of asking for her company home, when up stepped a little girl and said ‘Mama, lets go home.’ The young man has not been seen today. He may be on the White Swan laundry wagon."

Whist Clubs Meet.

Mr. and Mrs. W. P. Fulkerson were made members of the Pastime whist club last night at the home of Capt. Spence. Miss Ruth Stebbins was a guest and Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Webster carried off the ribbons. Mr. and Mrs. John H. Magee entertained the American whist club last night. The guests were Messrs. and Mesdames Robert Ornduff, W. J. Sewall, Misses Flora Lister and Eva Hill.

  Today's Feature

"Miracle on 34th Street".


Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre will present its upcoming performance of "Miracle on 34th Street", a play from the novel by Valentine Davis. Adapted by Patricia Di Benedetto Snyder, Will Severin and John Vreeke and originally produced by the New York State Theatre Institute. Directed by Betty Bell and Betsy Fleischaker, this comedy has a cast of over 30 people and is produced in cooperation with Samuel French Publishing Company.

Kris Kringle is the personification of good will and holiday spirit. As Macy’s holiday Santa, he enchants children and shoppers so completely that he is deemed dangerous by fellow employees and shoppers who question his competency and plot to ruin him. A small girl’s belief in Santa and the magic of the holiday is at stake in a climactic courtroom decision. This show for the entire family is a Christmas classic. It was originally produced by the New York State Theatre Institute.

Performances will be held at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on December 2-5, and December 9-12, 2010.

Just Jake Talkin'

Seems like the older I get, the less I know. At least I think I know less.

I’d give anything to be half as smart as I thought I was when I was twenty. What I’m afraid of is that I’m only ‘bout half as smart as I think I am now.

Prob’ly the worst thing about gettin’ some a that mature experience under your belt is ya start realizing just how much ya really don’t know about a lotta things.

So ta my way a thinkin’, the more ya know the dumber ya feel.

‘Course you can always go outa your way ta find onea those smart twenty-something’s that know it all. Usually after a while ya start ta feel a little better just knowin’ that in another ten or fifteen years, they won’t be as smart you think they are now.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By JoAnn Derson

• The next time you order extra pickles or condiments with your take-out order, save and wash the small containers with lids that they come in. They are fantastic for keeping all sorts of things: extra buttons in a sewing box; spices; different size pins, nails or office supplies; even craft supplies.

• Keep a can or shaker of baking soda next to the stove. Small grease spatters can be covered in a jiffy if they are too close to a heat source. And it will help them to wipe up cleanly later.

• "Get a professional look when recaulking a sink by running over the bead of caulk with the back of a soapy teaspoon. It will smooth the caulk and give it a uniform appearance." -- I.O. in West Virginia

• If you suspect you have a slow leak from your toilet tank, put a few drops of food coloring into the large tank. If the flapper is not closing all the way, in a short time the dye will have made its way to the toilet bowl. If it does, you know that you need to replace the ball and flapper.

• "To avoid a dirty-smelling hamper, place a single sheet of fabric softener in the bottom of your laundry closet or in the hamper itself." -- S.W. in Oregon

• "For troublesome-to-open jars of pickles, jam, etc., use a pair of standard dishwashing gloves. They provide a sturdy grip, especially if your hands are the least bit damp." -- D.L. in Indiana

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