When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I
see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling
problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I dialed the number. When they answered
I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a
seven. What do I do?"
Two young men who had just graduated
from Harvard got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After
hearing them, the cab driver asked, "You Harvard
"Yes Sir! Class of
2010!" they said.
The cab driver extended his hand back
to shake their hand, saying, "Class of
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THE LINE INTO
It is now rumored that a railroad may
be built soon on the Van Frank survey from Carthage into
Arkansas. Speaking of the project the Springfield
"This survey was made about
fourteen years ago by Engineer Van Frank for the Missouri
Pacific company. It is well remembered by many who say it
was the most thoroughly equipped corps yet seen in
Northern Arkansas, and that their work was considered the
most scientific and accurate ever filed for this field.
"Commencing at Carthage, the corps
passed through Aurora (where they crossed the Frisco),
close to Ruth P.O., across White river at Hensleys
ferry, Kirbyville, across the state line, Mincy,
Sycamore, Lead Hill, Dodd City, Yellville, up Mill creek,
down Clabber creek, across Buffalo river, through Stone
and Clebourne counties to Bald Knob, presumably for the
purpose of making a complete chain through to Carthage.
Council Sends Bill
Back to Committee.
The ordinance proposed by the
Public Safety Committee to begin billing
insurance companies when fire personnel are
called out was tabled by the City Council during
their regular meeting Tuesday evening. When a
Council bill is tabled, it takes seven votes to
bring it back for consideration.
With little formal discussion,
Council member Diane Sharits moved to table the
ordinance and send it back to the Public Safety
Committee for more study. The Council voted 10-0
for the motion seconded by member Charlie Bastin.
There was no defensive arguments presented, even
by Public Safety Committee Chair Bill Welch.
After the meeting, Fire Chief
Chris Thompson told the Mornin Mail
that he wasnt discouraged and wanted
everyone to be satisfied with the language of the
bill before it passed.
There was no discussion on the
first reading of a bill that would put the
question of extending the half-cent capital
improvement sales tax on the ballot.
City Administrator Tom Short
reported that sales tax receipts were down 48%
from a year ago. Late filings are suspected.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Chase to Go Down to Wire
Supposedly, NASCAR officials
are contemplating an offseason change in the
Chase for the Sprint Cup that would provide some
sort of elimination process.
Based on the current Chase, it
sort of takes care of itself.
Seven races into the 10-race
Chase, the crowd at the top is noteworthy. Never
have three drivers been locked in such a tight
battle, with 38 points separating Jimmie Johnson,
Denny Hamlin and Kevin Harvick.
But, with the great "wild
card" (Talladega) behind them, the race has
been effectively limited to those three.
Four-time champion Jeff Gordon is fourth but
trails Johnson by 207 points. Clint Bowyer, the
winner of the Amp Energy Juice 500 -- and only
driver to win twice during the Chase to date --
brings up the rear, 367 points behind Johnson.
Gordon, Kyle Busch, Carl Edwards, Tony Stewart,
Matt Kenseth, Kurt Busch, Jeff Burton, Greg
Biffle and Bowyer all are far off the pace
entering the remaining races in Fort Worth,
Texas; Avondale, Ariz.; and Homestead, Fla.
Johnson has won the past four
Sprint Cup championships, an unprecedented
achievement, but in each of his past titles,
Johnson took a decent cushion into the final
race. He doesnt expect that to be the case
"The way its gone, I
better be prepared for (winning) the Ford 400 at
Homestead-Miami Speedway," said Johnson.
"If Im not, then we arent doing
our jobs. The last couple years down there,
weve made sure that we had pace in our car
and speed. Last year we won the pole, finishing
sixth [actually fifth]. Ran good, had a strong
night being conservative.
"I feel like coming to
Homestead this time, we need to race for this
thing, which Im pretty confident were
going to have to do."
At Talladega, Harvick finished
second, Johnson seventh and Hamlin ninth. Harvick
has the most top-10 finishes (23). Johnson and
Harvick each have 15 top-five finishes. Hamlin
has the most victories (7), one more than
I havent been on a
carnival ride for some years now.
There used ta be a real
eagerness on my part to be hurled into all
directions for a couple a minutes. This was
especially fun if you were riddin with
a buddy who wasnt that eager.
A couple a friends a mine
decided to ignore the warnings of a
co-rider in one a those roll over cages on a
upchuckin in a closed cage with three
teenagers on board is a little
embarrassin, but the two who
werent sick at first werent
feelin too good when the ride stopped
either. Those of us who rode home on the bus
with em didnt appreciate the joke
much either. Another friend said he had the
same experience. When the sickling was
through he said, "man, thats the
third time today." Be careful out there.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have an etiquette question.
Consider the case of three families, all friends.
Family A gets a new Escalade with all the bells
and whistles. It is Daddy As baby! Family B
has a teenager with a history of motion sickness.
Sure enough, Teenager B vomits in the Escalade.
Daddy A is irate. The B Family feels terrible,
and is about to offer to pay for complete
detailing/cleaning services, etc., when it learns
that Daddy A - while cleaning up teenager
Bs vomit - proceeded to vomit in the
Escalade himself. We are Family C, attempting to
remain neutral. But we secretly think Daddy A is
kind of a jerk. Any suggestions, other than
Dramamine? - Jim
Tom: Well, Jim, this certainly
gets the prize as the most disgusting letter we
received this week.
Ray: Daddy A may indeed be a
jerk, Jim. And getting irate at the poor kid for
having motion sickness doesnt help his
case. But he still deserves to have his car
cleaned by Family B.
Tom: Right. Daddy As loss
of lunch was directly precipitated by Teenager
Bs blowing of chunks. He was trying to
clean the pre-chewed cookies off the floor mats,
and he suddenly realized what he was picking up,
and blew a grocery geyser himself.
Ray: Right. So, since Teenager
B was responsible for both his own cookie yodel
AND Daddy As jazzing up of the carpet, then
Family B is indeed responsible for having the
Escalade cleaned and detailed. And before anyone
else rides in the car and goes for the second
Tom: I hope that clears
everything up, Jim. But if not, under no
circumstances should you write to us again.
Copyright 1997-2010 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.