Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old
granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned
and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by
She replied, "I know that,
He replied, "How did you
She said, "Because you didnt
say, Idiot! afterwards."
One night, a lady stumbled into the
police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a
noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next
thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out
An officer was sent to her house to
investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a
"Did you get hit by the same
person?" his captain asked.
"No," he replied. "I
stepped on the same rake."
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting
bigger, and then it hit me.
A good pun is its own reword.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
FOR THE SCHOOLS.
Board Plans Various
Improvements for the Different Buildings.
The school board last night heard the
report of the committee on grounds and buildings, and
ordered various improvements. All buildings in the sewer
districts are to be given sewer connection, doing away
with unsightly out-buildings. The High school, Central,
Franklin and Benton will probably be in the new district.
Wall papering, painting and board
blacking are to be done at most of the buildings, and the
basements of the Benton and Irving ward buildings are to
be made into rainy day play rooms for the pupils.
Several fires have been narrowly
averted by a deficient heating system at the High school
building, and that is to be remedied.
Sam Wheeler was re-elected janitor of
the High school building.
Chamber of Commerce will thank
one exceptional small business in January when
they present the Small Business of the Year
Award. Nominations are currently being accepted
for this award. Customers and employees are
encouraged to nominate businesses for this award.
The Small Business of the Year
Award will be presented to a local business that
has presented a positive image and has been a
vibrant entity within the Carthage business
community. Recipient must be a Chamber member in
good standing and have fewer than 50 employees.
Past recipients are ineligible
for nomination and include: Main Street
Mercantile, Oak Street Health & Herbs,
ServPro of Carthge/Joplin, Central Pet Care,
Clouds Meat Processing, Grundys Body
& Frame Shop, Stewards Frame Shop,
Block-By-Block Quilt Shop, and Smith Midwest
Nomination forms are available
by contacting the Chamber office. Nominations
must be received by 5:00 p.m. Friday, December 3
to be considered.
I grew up hearin ya
gota jump in and start swimmin. The
idea bein that ya cant sit around
waitin for somethin ta happen.
Course, as water
safety folks will explain, its not such a
good idea to jump in head first if ya
arent familiar with the swimmin
Im guessin that
most folks have felt they got in a little
deeper than they anticipated ever now
and then. Thats when the rest of the
lesson comes in. "Learn from your
mistakes and go on."
I suppose that havin
an attitude that gettin your feet a
little wet now and then is a good thing.
Id hate ta think that everthing
has been tried thats worth tryin.
Itd be a shame ta not have anything
left ta learn.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Vacuuming Up Wasps
Q: Im writing regarding
your article in which a reader suggested removing
wasps from a homes siding by using a vacuum
hose. You werent certain exactly how this
I have used a shop vacuum for
years to get rid of wasps, with great success.
When they are entering the opening in the wall or
wherever their nest is located, the wasps cannot
escape the suction created when the vacuum hose
is placed next to the hole.
This is a safe, chemical-free
way to get rid of literally thousands of wasps.
They do not attempt to sting or bother you in any
way because they are intent on entering their
nest. All you have to do is stand motionless with
the vacuum hose held in place. The last time I
did it, I counted (yes, counted) over 2,000 wasps
in a relatively short time period.
I have also used the same
method to get rid of a bat in the house. All I
had to do was wait for it to alight (usually
somewhere up high), put the hose over it and
"plunk," it was in the vacuum canister.
Remember though, dont
open the shop vac inside the house or leave the
vacuum hose unsealed after turning it off. This
is just in case the wasps arent all dead.
-- Alberta T., Batavia, N.Y.
A: Many thanks for expanding on
the original tip! Shame about the bat
(theyre really good for pest control as
they catch and eat a number of insects), although
I can see where having one inside your living
space would be annoying. Still, the shop vac idea
is really neat, and if it works to rid a house of
wasps, go for it.
HOME TIP: To prevent wasps from
rebuilding a nest in the spot youve just
cleared them from, dab the area with something
strongly scented, like tea tree oil. Repair small
holes or cover niche areas with fine mesh.
Remember, when in doubt as to
whether you can safely or effectively complete a
project, consult a professional contractor.
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